


The Moon

by jdmfanfiction



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Comfort, F/M, Flashbacks, Heartache, Inspired by The Walking Dead, Memories, Negan Being Negan (Walking Dead), No Smut, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, POV Third Person Omniscient, Protective Negan (Walking Dead), Protectiveness, Quiet, Shyness, Slow Burn, cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-09-19 04:43:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 54,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9419267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jdmfanfiction/pseuds/jdmfanfiction
Summary: Luna, a shy and timid woman, encounters Negan who is the complete opposite. Negan tries to break her out of her shell, but will it work? It was going to be tough, especially since he reminds Luna of her late husband... And not in a good way.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is based of TV!Negan. I have yet to read Comic!Negan, so bear with me! I hope you enjoy it! :)

Luna had dark brown, shoulder-length hair, icy blue eyes that could make a person sympathize for her, and she was tiny. Not only was she tiny, but she was timid. Shy. Quiet. She had always been this way, even before the world ended and the dead began to roam the Earth.

She had been alone for quite some time now. She never really did get along well with others. Many assumed that her introverted nature was her way of thinking that she was better than everyone else, when it was the opposite. Luna never had the self-confidence that many other people had. She never thought she was good enough. Even in the old world.

At first glance, one would guess that she used to be a teacher or an accountant or any job that didn’t require much physical effort. Luna didn’t mind though. She may have been quiet, but she sure had thick skin.

Luna had been scavenging an abandoned grocery store when she heard the sound of an engine approaching. Instantly, she placed her hand on her Glock 22 that was strapped to her hip. She held it with two straight arms, crouching down stealthily.

_Don’t kill. Don’t kill. Don’t kill._

“Please don’t make me do anything I don’t want to do,” she whispered to herself. Luna shut her eyes, waiting for the sound of the engine to become distant, but when it shut off right outside the store, she knew today’s events was not going to turn out the way she hoped it would.

“You lazy fucks go and check the fucking store. We don’t have all day and I’m ready to be balls fucking deep in one of my wives when we get back. So, hurry this shit up so we can get going,” a deep voice echoed from outside.

Luna couldn’t help but cringe at his use of vocabulary. She also couldn’t miss the fact that this man said _wives_. _Plural_. What kind of woman would want to stay with a man after she realized that he wasn’t being faithful?

Suddenly, Luna heard footsteps approach the store. They sure were making a lot of noise. She gripped the handle of the gun, turning to hit one of the men in the face with the butt of her gun. When he fell to the floor, gripping his bloody nose, Luna stood over him, pointing the gun directly at him with sad eyes.

“Please… Just – Just tell your people to leave.”

He smirked, staring at her through the streaks of blood coming down his chin. “What are you going to do? Shoot me?”

Her hands begin to shake – just like it always did before she was going to kill someone.

“I don’t want to… Damn it, I really don’t. So, please… Just tell your leader that there’s nothing here,” Luna begged. Her eyes were soft and pleading, but her grip on the gun was tight and her finger hovered over the trigger, ready to pull at any moment.

“Hey, Dave! Stop screwing around over there! Negan’s already in a bad mood and —” The other man came into view, instantly raising his gun to point at Luna.

Luna doesn’t budge nor does she flinch at the sound of the gun being cocked, ready to fire if need be.

“Put the gun down or I will shoot,” the man said, helping ‘Dave’ up to his feet. Two guns were now facing her and she knew it was a losing battle. She sighed, dropping her eyes and placing her gun back into her holster.

“Now that’s a good fucking girl. Dave, grab her damn gun and bring her outside to meet the boss. He’s going to get a kick out of this shit.” Dave wiped the blood with the sleeve of his shirt, staining the fabric and streaking the dried blood across his face.

Dave stepped forward, grabbing the gun roughly and Luna felt helpless. She couldn’t fight back, no matter how badly she wanted to. Vulnerable and weaponless, both men drag her outside roughly, tossing her to the ground as she landed on her knees.

Luna glanced around, not expecting this many people. It had been _months_ since she saw the living and she didn’t know if that was necessarily a good or bad thing. In this instance, she would go with the latter.

The man in leather turned around at the sound of someone falling, his eyes dropping down to Luna. Instantly, his lips turn into a mischievous grin. He placed his barbed-wire bat over his shoulder as his presence exuded confidence, charisma, and _power_.

“Well, what do we have here boys?” The man asked, turning his attention to the two men who found her. “And what the fuck happened to you? Why do you have blood all over you face?”

“She hit me, boss. With this gun.” Dave held out the gun, showing his ‘boss’ just exactly what she used to bunt him with.

“Is that right?” The man kneeled down to be at eye-level with Luna. When he looked into her eyes, he noticed the sparkly blue irises that lied beneath her shyness. He was expecting to see fear; he was not expecting to see acceptance of their fate. It was different for a change.

“Did you hit one of my men, doll?”

Luna cleared her throat, nodding slowly. She couldn’t get out of this and it wasn’t like she wanted to either.

“I’m sorry,” Luna said, dropping her eyes to the ground. She placed her hands on the gravel beneath her, fidgeting slightly. She wanted her gun back. It made her feel secure, it made her feel _confident_ enough that she could handle anything.

“Well, if it isn’t my fucking lucky day. You’re apologizing without me even asking? Shit, doll! My men and I are not used to people immediately giving in like that. But this — You’re in my territory and that means you broke one of my fucking rules. Before we fucking get to that, I probably should be a _gentleman_ and fucking introduce myself.”

The man stood up, straightening out his jacket as he glanced around the array of men he had standing by. It felt good to know that he was in charge, that he was the motherfucking boss.

“I’m _Negan_ ,” he said, grinning down at Luna with his trademark dimpled smirks. Luna didn’t dare look up at him, but she did spare him a glance. “And what’s your name, doll?”

“Luna,” was her simple reply. He had what he needed, what he wanted, there was nothing more that he could take from her that he already hadn’t.

“That’s a beautiful name for a fucking beautiful woman. Doesn’t that fucking mean the Moon or some shit like that?” Negan said, waving his hand uncaringly at the air.

Luna doesn’t respond. He was right though. It did mean the Moon. It reminded Luna of her childhood and how obsessed her mother was with the Moon that when she found out she was having a girl, she decided she would name her Luna.

She remembered sitting out at the porch, staring up at the starry sky and the bright Moon. It was soothing and Luna would always stay outside when she heard her parents arguing and the sounds of her mother’s pained cries whenever her father hit her. Her childhood wasn’t the best, but she never regretted a bit of it. Luna was shy, quiet, but she was also very forgiving.

Luna would stay out on the porch, staring at the sky, remembering what her mother had told her. Even in the darkness, the Moon was always there. It shone a light through the darkness of her life and even when nights where the abuse was heard, the Moon managed to comfort her, reminding her that the darkness would never fully consume her.

Luna shook her head slightly at the thoughts that clouded her mind. She hated thinking about the life she had before the world ended. It wasn’t something that she wanted to remember when it meant nothing anymore.

“I asked you a fucking question. It would be polite if you answered me,” Negan said, shaking her out of her trance.

“Y — Yes… It means the Moon.”

Negan cupped her chin roughly, making her stare directly into his cold eyes. Luna couldn’t help but wonder what caused the darkness to consume this man. When she looked into his eyes, she didn’t see anything. She didn’t see pain, grief, loss… Instead, she saw _nothing_. Her previous job had taught her how to read people and there was a saying that the eyes were the windows to the soul, but staring directly into this man’s eyes…

She wasn’t able to read him.

“You don’t like talking much, huh?” Negan asked.

“Guess not,” she shrugged.

Negan released her chin, narrowing his eyes at her. He had to wonder why he suddenly felt a sense of protectiveness at her shy nature. It wasn’t every day that he met someone as timid as her, as _willing_ as her. It was strange.

“Now, let me give you the rundown, sweetheart. I’m going to give you a few options and you tell me which the fuck you’re going to choose. Am I clear?”

Luna nodded.

“Option one! I take all your stuff, including that beautiful Glock 22 in my fucking possession and leave you here alone to pick up the scraps. Option two, I _still_ take your stuff, but you come back with me to my compound and _work_ for me. Or option three, I take your stuff and then kill you. So, what’s it going to fucking be, doll?” Negan grinned.

Luna had to contemplate at the hands that she was being dealt with. It was an obvious answer. Of course she was going to choose option two. There was no way she was going to survive out in this world without her gun, she just hoped that he would return it soon.

“Option two… But I want my gun back. _Please_.”

Negan took the gun from Dave, inspecting it carefully. “You’re going to have to earn my trust before you can get this bad boy back.” He helped Luna stand, taking notice of how tiny she really was compared to him.

Luna kept her hands laced in front of her, her eyes directly onto the gravel. Negan was determined to make this woman break out of her shell. He always wanted someone obedient, but he didn’t know if he could truly handle it.

Luna was already getting on his nerves with how obedient she was. He was hoping she would talk back, show him how big of a badass she was, but he was disappointed. She agreed without any hesitation.

“Let’s get back to the compound. We’ve got a new fucking occupant in our hands, fellas! Gotta show her some respect. Let’s not keep her waiting,” Negan smirked, bringing Luna to the truck. She climbed in eagerly, buckling her seat belt.

Luna kept her eyes out the window as Negan began to drive. He had placed his weapon between the both of them. It was odd how he seemed so relaxed, so calm knowing that this world would never be what it once was.

Luna wanted to know how he could remain fearless.

As they pulled up to the gates, Luna widened her eyes at the undead who were chained to the front. It was unlike anything she had ever seen before. As questions clouded her thoughts, Luna opted to remain quiet.

Negan helped her out of the truck and into the compound past the doors. When she looked down, she noticed a community of people minding their own business until Negan showed up. That was when they all kneeled at his presence. Negan grinned proudly, leaning back against the railing as he looked down at her.

Luna slowly brought her attention to the man next to her, staring once more into his eyes.

Again, _nothing_.

“Welcome to the mother _fucking_ Sanctuary, Luna.”

He was the darkness and she was the light.


	2. Chapter 2

“So, what do you think, doll? Pretty cool, ain’t it?” Negan leaned closer to her, smirking. He glanced over his shoulder to see that the people still remained on their knees. He couldn’t believe what fear could do to people.

Luna nodded, biting her lower lip. What was she supposed to say? It was obvious that Negan was a force to be reckoned with and if anyone were to even _try_ , they would definitely regret it. Though, it was obvious that these people looked at Negan as if he was some sort of God and in some way, she could understand it. Negan gave them shelter, food, clothes; it was something that had been long forgotten in this world.

“As you were!” Negan yelled over his shoulder, not bothering the people another glance. Luna watched them stand to their feet, going about their business as if nothing happened. When she looked over at Negan, she noticed that he had already begun walking with his bat propped up on his shoulder. He was whistling and Luna quickly caught up to him, clearing her throat.

She didn’t know what to think of this place. Yes, it had walls. Yes, it had security. But at what cost? Luna would never voice her opinion, though. She was just grateful to be able to sleep without worrying about the undead or a potential threat.

“This floor is for the women. We bunk four women in each room. Bunk beds and all that shit. I had one of my men prepare you a bed, some clothes because I know for sure you’d want to fucking take a shower. When you’re finished, meet me in my office and we can discuss your role here in the Sanctuary.” Negan opened the door to reveal a small room. It was boring and the two metal bunkbeds did not go unnoticed.

Luna noticed that other people occupied this room, but there was one bed that remained untouched. She figured that was for her.

Negan let her step inside, obviously waiting for some sort of gratitude. When he didn’t get it, he abruptly let his bat hit the bunkbed, causing a loud _clank_ to echo the walls. Luna flinched, but just barely.

“You forgetting something, doll?”

Luna furrowed a brow, slowly shaking her head. “I don’t think so… No…?”

He laughed, causing her to become more confused.

“Where’s my fucking _thank you_ , Luna?”

She cleared her throat. “I’m sorry. I’m just a bit overwhelmed. Thank you, Negan.” Luna kept her eyes downcast, shrinking back against the bottom bunk as Negan stepped into her personal space.

“Do I scare you, doll?” He asked quietly.

She looked up at him, staring into his eyes. For once, Luna held her ground, not shrinking back like she was used to doing, but the minute he smirked, she knew it would only amuse him if she fought back.

“No… I’m just – Not used to talking to people. Been on my own for a while now. It’s going to take some getting used to,” she shrugged.

Negan stepped back, nodding to himself. He could understand that. “Don’t forget. My office once you’re done cleaning up. Showers are across the hall. After ten minutes, the showers will turn off, so don’t take too fucking long.”

When he finally left, Luna instantly sat at the edge of the bed, bringing her hands to her face. She focused on her breathing, willing herself to calm down. There was something about Negan that reminded her of her old life, of her _husband_ and she didn’t know what it was.

Once she cleared her mind, Luna stood up to pick up the fresh set of clothes and towel that Negan had given her. She also noticed an unopened bottle of body wash, shampoo, conditioner, and a razor. It was like she was in heaven.

Excitedly, Luna walked to the showers. It reminded her very much of a girl’s locker room in a high school. She was just glad that the glass doors to the showers were also covered with curtains or sheets, giving every woman the privacy they needed.

Luna slowly stripped from her old clothes, she couldn’t help but stare down at her bare body. She couldn’t believe how skinny she had gotten. Once the water began to heat up, Luna stepped inside and groaned instantly at the feel of _warm_ water hitting her tense muscles. It had been so long since she had a decent shower.

She brought her hands to her dark locks, lathering up the shampoo and grinning at the coconut scent. Maybe she could learn how to live in a place like this.

Luna didn’t take more than ten minutes, just like Negan had told her. Her once dirty body was now cleansed, her body hair shaved with the help of the razor. Luna walked to the mirror, staring at herself for the first time in a long time. She noticed that her cheeks were slightly sunken in, revealing that she hadn’t had anything to eat in a long time.

Nothing else changed, though. Her eyes were still shy and timid and her small lips presented itself almost like a natural pout.

Luna slipped on a clean pair of underwear and the bra. It was surprising how it fit her snugly. She pulled on the pair of black jeans and the maroon t-shirt that rested just at the waistband of her pants. Luna folded the ends of her jeans, slipping her socks and boots on afterwards. She may have felt clean, but she still felt empty and vulnerable without her weapon.

Luna brought her items and towel back to the room, setting it down on her bed. Though, just before she could leave to try and find Negan, a man with a thick mustache and receding hairline presented himself at the doorway with a big grin on his face.

“You must be the one who cracked Davey’s nose. I must say… I was _not_ expecting to see someone as tiny as you. To be honest, I was kind of expecting this big woman who didn’t look as innocent and shy as you are now. You’re Luna, right?”

She nodded, standing up to walk to the man. He was a bit shorter than Negan, but still, he was taller than her. Luna bit her lower lip, looking down at her feet as the tips of her dampened hair stained the concrete floor.

“Boss was right. You don’t talk much. Come on. He’s waiting for you.” The man extended an arm for her, allowing Luna to step outside of her room to enter the hallways. Luna tried to remember where she had come from, but it seemed like the walk to Negan’s office was never-ending.

Luna figured they were now at the top floor of this entire building, seeing as they walked three flights of stairs from where the women’s quarters were. Finally standing at the door, the man next to her knocked three times, waiting for an answer.

“Come the fuck in!” Luna heard from the other side of the door.

Slowly, the door opened and she noticed Negan without his bat and his leather jacket. He was clad in a white t-shirt and his wrist was wrapped with some sort of white bandage.

“Well, fuck, doll. You clean up nice. Did you give Simon here a hard time?”

Luna glanced over her shoulder to see that Simon had stood aside, flashing her a big grin. She shook her head in response, keeping her eyes onto her dirty boots.

“No trouble, boss. She sure is fucking quiet, though. Are you sure _she_ is the one who hit Dave? It’s a bit hard to believe.” Simon replied, keeping his hands in front of him.

Negan smirked at the other man, standing up. Luna felt like she was eavesdropping on their conversation, but she didn’t want to upset either one, so instead, she remained still. She knew Negan would soon enter her personal space again, but she didn’t mind. It wasn’t his charisma that scared her… It was what he was capable of doing that scared her.

“Now, Simon… Don’t underestimate the little woman. She may be tiny, but you never know… She may pack a mean punch and I certainly do not want to find out. Do you?” Negan asked.

Simon shook his head. “Certainly not.”

“I fucking thought so. I’ve got some shit to take care of, so if you could leave us be, that’ll be peachy.” Without another word, Simon left the room, shutting the door behind him on the way out.

Negan extended a hand out for Luna, motioning for her to take a seat at one of the leather chairs. Slowly, Luna walked to the seat, sitting down and bringing a leg to drape over hers casually.

“Now, Luna… My beautiful, beautiful _Moon_ ,” Negan began, sitting across from her with his usual grin plastered on his face.

“I’m going to give you three new options to choose from. You’re lucky. Not many people who come here get three options, so let me give you a fucking rundown of my Sanctuary.” Negan leaned back, placing his laced hands on his abdomen as he stared at her.

“Oh… Okay… I’m listening,” she mumbled, her eyes drifting to the large window to glance outside.

“Option one… You work for points. We will find you something you are good at and that will be your job. It’s kind of like I’m paying you, but instead of it being money, it’s points that you can use for anything like girly shit from the commissary, food, extra necessities… Not many people enjoy working for points, so keep that in mind.

Option two, you work as a Savior. Now, Saviors don’t follow the point system. They work for me and I allow them to live as luxuriously as this life can allow. They get their own room. They get whatever the fuck they want, no questions asked. In return, they scavenge for me. They go out past these walls and visit other communities for trade. It’s more of a dangerous job than what is being offered back here,” Negan began.

Luna couldn’t help but ponder on the idea of other communities. It was odd how she seemed like she was living a life in the old days where trade was the only way to do business. She knew as well as anyone that she was more than qualified to become a Savior, but she didn’t know if she wanted to take that job. Being a Savior meant being around Negan and Luna definitely didn’t want that.

“What’s option three…?” She asked quietly.

Luna looked up at him to see that his grin had turned from sinister to lustful. She couldn’t help but furrow her brows.

“Option three… You become my wife. My wife is treated like a mother _fucking_ Queen around here. They want food? They get food. They want more clothes? They fucking get it. They are the only ones, aside from me, that have the most freedom around here.” Negan leaned forward, feeling proud and hopeful that Luna would choose option three.

“So, what’s it going to be, sweetheart?”

Luna cleared her throat. “You said… You said _they_? You have more than one wife?”

Negan grinned. “As a matter of fact, I fucking have five. You can be number six.”

Luna stared at him, trying to hide the look of disgust in her features. That was why he reminded her of her husband. Aside from his charming personality, he never seemed like he could settle for what he already had. He always wanted more, even if it meant destroying relationships along the way.

“I’ll work for points.” Luna replied, slipping back into her usual shy nature. She tried her best not to get angry at the memories that resurfaced. She just hoped that Negan would let her go and she could be left alone.

“I don’t think you caught onto my fucking hint earlier. Those who work for points wish they were fucking dead, Luna.”

Luna took a deep breath and sighed. “I understand… But you’ve given me more than what I was able to give myself when I was alone out there. I can handle working for points, Negan.”

He sighed, running a hand over his face. He wasn’t expecting to be rejected.

“Alright. I’m not going to force you into anything you aren’t comfortable with doing. Dinner should be served soon. Tell them you’re new and they’ll give you a plate without any points being deducted. As for a job… What did you used to do before this world turned to shit?” Negan asked. Luna was still a mystery to him. He couldn’t even pinpoint what profession she had before the undead rose from its ashes.

Usually, Negan was good at figuring people out, breaking them down, but with Luna… It was proving to be a tougher challenge after all.

“I’ve worked in retail, in restaurants, things like that…” Luna said, strategically leaving out a big part of her life. Negan didn’t know what she used to do and she was determined to keep it that way.

“We can put you at the commissary for now. I’m sure these people here would love to see a pretty fucking face every time they stop by. I’ll have one of my men bring you there tomorrow morning. You’ll get to meet Denise. She’s the one that runs that entire place.”

Luna nodded, fidgeting with her hands slightly. She wished it was nighttime already. She hoped that the window in her room would serve a good enough view of the moon.

“Why the fuck are you so quiet, doll?” Negan abruptly asked.

She looked up at him with the softest and the most innocent of eyes that he had ever seen before. For once, Negan felt bad for his vulgarity. She looked too pure to be tainted by a man such as himself.

“I don’t know… I guess I just don’t have much to say,” Luna shrugged.

“You’re a damn mystery to me, Luna, but I’m determined to fucking solve it. And if people around here know anything about me, it’s that I’m good at finding shit out,” Negan threatened, running a hand through his slicked back hair.

He was scary, but Luna had seen scarier. The only thing different was now it was only up to her to stop the “bad guys.” She didn’t have an entire team to help her like she was used to.

“Okay… I don’t doubt that for a minute, Negan.”

Negan narrowed his eyes. No ounce of fear showed in her features, but her quick thinking to abide by his threats and shrug it off like it was nothing irritated him.

“Go and get dinner. Would hate for you to fucking get the scraps. It is your first night here after all.”

Luna nodded, instantly standing and walking to the door. She hesitated for a second and turned the doorknob, glancing over her shoulder.

“Thank you, Negan,” she said. Negan glanced up at her, flashing her his charismatic smile.

“You’re welcome, Luna.”

Once she stepped out, she noticed Simon waiting for her. Luna may have been shy and quiet, but she was not afraid of people. Sure, she feared the dead, but it was her job to handle people that gave her a hard time.

“No one is allowed up here unless invited, so keep that in mind. Negan wanted me to accompany you back to the cafeteria just in case anyone tried to rob you of a meal. Plus, I think you’d get lost in this maze-like building,” Simon rambled. Luna followed eagerly.

As they entered the first floor, which seemed to be the main floor, Luna spotted the open section at the corner of the room. She figured that was where she would be working, she could tell by the variety of items that were showcased. Though, Luna caught eyes of the cafeteria. It wasn’t fancy, but it was just enough that it would give people a place to eat and from the looks of it, there were more people here than she had realized.  

“Grab a plate.” Simon instructed her and she immediately took one, standing in line. Luna couldn’t help but inhale the aroma of food. It filled her senses, making her stomach growl loudly to a point that Simon had even heard it.

“She’s new. This meal’s free,” Simon told the kitchen worker. Luna watched as the soup was poured into her small bowl following a slice of bread and a glass of water. It wasn’t much of a meal, but it was more than she had in a long time.

Simon led her to a table, sitting at the end of it. Luna sat down across from him, slowly beginning to eat. It was a simple tomato soup, but she couldn’t help but groan at the taste.

“So, Luna, huh… Did Negan say where you’ll be put? I’m assuming he gave you three options to choose from,” Simon said, trying to start conversation. What Luna didn’t know was that this man was also Negan’s right hand man and whatever she said would come back to Negan.

Luna, however, didn’t mind the small talk just as long as it involved something as unimportant as what her new job was.

“I’m working for points. I’m going to be working at the commissary with Denise.” Luna responded. It was straight to the point without room to elaborate.

“Did he ask you to be his wife?”

Luna nodded. “Yes.”

Simon arched a brow. It would be more difficult than he thought to get her to talk. “Why’d you turn it down?”

“I don’t know,” she replied. It wasn’t an honest answer, but she didn’t want to tell him it was because she didn’t want to be one of six women to share a man. Luna had dealt with that already in her personal life before all of this and she didn’t want that to happen again.

“You attracted to Negan? I mean, I can see why he’s attracted to you. You’re the typical girl next door. Quiet, shy, innocent… You’re beautiful, but you’re also _cute_.” Simon grinned, finishing his food.

Luna looked down at her food; she was doing her best not to just scarf it down. She also couldn’t help but bite her lower lip at the compliment. In her old life, no one had bothered to spare her a glance or even talk to her that didn’t involve work.

Many realized soon enough that Luna didn’t like to talk so they often avoided talking to her entirely.

“Well, thank you, Simon.” Her answers remain one dimensional. It was as if every response of hers was an ending to the conversation.

Simon narrowed his eyes. She wouldn’t budge.

“I’ll leave you to your dinner. Lights are out at 9PM. No one is allowed wandering the halls or the compound after that unless you’re a Savior on watch or one of his wives trying to grab a fucking late night snack. I’ll be at your door tomorrow at 7AM tomorrow morning. Enjoy your dinner, Luna.” Simon stood up, leaving her alone at the end of the crowded table.

Luna sighed to herself, continuing to eat her food. She tried to savor every bite, but when she realized that she would be able to eat tomorrow, she relaxed a bit. After about twenty minutes, Luna finished her food, downing her glass of water before setting her tray and dirty plates aside for the kitchen crew.

She glanced around, taking note of the faces in the cafeteria. They looked carefree, unaware of what was happening past these walls. With a sigh, Luna walked back to her bedroom, noticing three women who she assumed were her roommates.

“Oh, hi! You must be the new girl. I’m Lisa.” One woman said, smiling cheerfully at her. She was at the bottom bunk across from Luna’s. The other two women stared at her with slightly curious gazes, not as cheery as Lisa.

“I’m Alex.” Another woman said.

“And I’m Jade.”

Luna waved awkwardly, biting her lower lip. “I’m Luna.”

“That’s such a pretty name,” Lisa grinned.

Luna flashed a small smile, dropping her eyes to her feet.

“Jade and I work in the garden. Planting seeds, making sure the vegetables are growing correctly. Lisa works in library. What about you? Where did Negan put you?” Alex asked, sitting on Lisa’s bed. It seemed like the three women seemed to get along well with one another and Luna just hoped that they didn’t think she was friendly too.

She didn’t want to disappoint them with her shy nature.

“Um, I’ll be working in the commissary with Denise…”

“Ah, Denise… Good luck with that.” Jade smirked, climbing to her top bunk. Luna realized that Alex slept atop of Luna’s bottom bed. Luna wanted to ask what Jade meant by that, but at the same time, she didn’t want to know. She was sure she would find out tomorrow.

“Well, it was nice to meet you, Luna. I’m sure you’ll get a good night’s rest tonight,” Lisa smiled, lying back on her bed.

Luna returned the smile before removing her boots to set nearby. She lied down on the small bed, pulling the blanket to her shoulders as she lied on her side.

She wished she had a window to stare at the Moon. Luna really needed the light to shine through the darkness that was beginning to consume her.

With a quiet sigh, Luna shut her eyes, hoping that she would finally be able to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adding a character to the story... It's Simon! I've never written for him before, so bear with me if it's a bit unrealistic. Enjoy! :)

The following morning, Luna awoke to an empty room. The three other women must have already started their shifts. She stood up, grabbing her toiletries to go to the bathroom. She didn’t have a clock, but since she didn’t get much of a good night’s sleep, she figured it was still early.

She walked across the hall to the showers, hearing the water running in a few other stalls. Luna bit her lower lip, deciding on the last stall at the end of the room, removing her clothes and stepping inside. Luna let the warm water hit her tense muscles, shutting her eyes.

Her thoughts drift back to her conversation with Negan as well as with Simon. Not many people sought out to talk to her, not even in the old world. Though, Luna figured that would change soon enough. She just wanted to take the attention off herself and focus on living again.

Luna finished her shower with a minute to spare, changing into a new set of clothes. She didn’t have much to change into, but hopefully, with her points, she would be able to buy more clothes that she could choose from.

She walked back to her room to see Negan and Simon sitting on her bed, laughing amongst one another.

“Um…” Luna bit her lower lip, setting her towel aside as she ran her fingers through her wet locks. Instantly, Negan and Simon look up at the woman that took interest in her.

Luna felt awkward and slightly out of place. Sure, it was her room, but Negan knew how to take up the room and it didn’t help that Simon was there, grinning like a maniac. She was just glad that her roommates had left before her.

“Look at you! It hasn’t even hit seven yet and you’re already ready to go. That’s what I fucking like to see. Ready at a moment’s notice.” Negan smirked, standing up and draping the bat over his shoulder like usual.

“I didn’t get much sleep last night.” Luna admitted, sitting on her bed to slip on her boots. Simon smirked down at her, but his action didn’t go unnoticed by Negan. He arched a brow between the two before placing himself between his right-hand man and Luna.

However, she didn’t stand up or move away. Luna simply gave him more space by scooting aside.

“And why the fuck not, doll?” Negan asked. For some reason, he yearned to be near her. It was odd how her presence could have this much of an effect on him.

“I guess I’m just slowly adjusting to sleeping in a bed with secure walls, Negan. It’s nothing against you. You and Simon have both been very kind to me, so thank you, but it’s going to take some getting used to.” Luna cleared her throat and slowly stood up, walking to the door in hopes that both men would follow.

“Simon said he would bring me to the commissary? I don’t think being early would necessarily be a bad thing…” She called over her shoulder, instantly hearing both men stand on their feet. Luna bit her lower lip, seeing Negan open the door for her. She absently nodded in his direction, walking out of her room as she waited for the two men outside in the halls.

“Alright, Luna. Let’s go. I’ll see you later, boss.” Simon said.

Negan narrowed his eyes before roughly tugging on the other man’s arm to bring him aside and out of earshot of Luna.

“She’s _mine_ , Simon. Don’t get any ideas,” Negan threatened.

Simon arched a brow, instantly nodding. “I know, Negan. I’m playing the part, remember? If she warms up to me, you’ll get the information you need.”

Negan glanced over at Luna, taking note at how she was obediently waiting for the both of them to finish talking. He couldn’t help but let his eyes wander over her. She looked so fragile, yet there was a mystery about her. She was hiding something and Negan was determined to find out.

“Right. Let’s keep that in mind. Now, go and bring her to Denise. We’ve got a fucking meeting later today, so don’t be late.” Negan said, stepping back and beginning to walk in the opposite direction before stopping. He turned around to see Luna following Simon, arching a brow.

“Luna!” She turned around to look at him, biting her lower lip. “Have a good first day, doll.”

Without another word, Negan walked down the hall and disappeared at the corner. Simon led her down the flight of stairs to the commissary, biting her lower lip nervously. She spotted a woman at the front who looked like she didn’t want to be there whatsoever.

“Denise, sexy, we’ve got a new recruit for you.” Simon said, smirking over at her. The woman doesn’t bat an eyelash at the man before turning her attention to Luna. It was as if she was inspecting her, silently questioning if this partnership would work out. “She’s a bit quiet, but I think she’ll be perfect here.”

“Well, I can’t necessarily say no, can I? Come on back here, Luna. I might as well give you the grand tour of the commissary before we open up shop.”

Luna nodded, following the other woman as Simon walked away. She noticed how the woman was taller than she was, had more of an athletic built and her black locks was pulled into a ponytail. She didn’t seem friendly, but Luna didn’t mind.

She was used to people not liking her due to her shyness.

“There are other people working here, but it doesn’t usually exceed more than five. I’m usually at the front, tallying up points to make sure everyone has enough just in case they want to get anything. The rest of my employees wander around, keeping inventory and organizing. It’s pretty simple,” Denise said, walking down the many aisles.

Luna tried to keep up. She was distracted by the different items they carried. It ranged from a variety of clothes, shoes, typical recreational things, books, toiletries… It was like a miniature department store.

“Oh, okay… That sounds simple enough. Thank you.” Luna said, following her to the front of the commissary. She grabbed a binder, writing in her name. Luna peeked a glance at the variety of pages in the binder, wondering exactly how many people resided in the Sanctuary.

“Well? Get to it. You’ll be organizing and shadowing the other employees. Don’t fuck it up and we won’t have a problem, got it, Lily?” Denise said, turning her back to Luna.

Luna sighed, “It’s Luna…”

“What?”

“You said Lily… My name’s Luna.”

Denise looked down at Luna, sending her a glare. “Same shit. Now get to work.”

Luna simply nodded, walking to the different aisles. A few of the other employees enter the commissary and Luna could hear the casual conversations that they were having with Denise. Maybe Luna wasn’t meant to have friends. No one seemed to like her.

“Hey, Lily! Get over here.” Denise said, motioning for the timid woman to show herself to her co-workers.

“This is Lily, everyone. She’s the newbie.” Denise smirked mischievously.

“It’s _Luna_ …” She gritted her teeth before sighing, dropping her eyes to the floor.

“And she’s a fucking smartass apparently.” Denise rolled her eyes, shooing her away with a hand in the air. Her co-workers simply laugh, turning their back to Luna.

Luna spent the rest of the day organizing, glancing at the few people who decide to stop buy and purchase items with their points. She was intrigued by this system. It made sense. It urged people to work to live here, but Negan had said that people who do work for points usually wish they were dead.

She had to wonder _why_?

Luna turned the corner to another aisle, bumping into someone. She instantly whispered her apologies before looking up to see a tall, blonde-haired, blue-eyed man staring at her with a charming smile.

“You must be new.” He said, leaning against the shelf. Luna arched a brow.

“I am, yes. It’s my first day,” she responded.

“Well, it’s my lucky day then. I’m glad I decided to stop by the commissary. I’m Justin.”

“Luna.”

Justin smirked, letting his eyes rake over the new woman. Luna tightened her jaw, taking a step back and motioning to an empty aisle. “If you don’t need any help, I’m going to go back to work. It was nice meeting you.”

Luna quickly walked away from the man, sighing to herself. It was her first day of the rest of her life and she just hoped that she could keep her head down for as long as she could.

It wasn’t until the time to close that she realized she missed breakfast _and_ lunch. Luna walked to Denise, biting her lower lip.

“Hey, Denise? Was I supposed to have a break for breakfast and for lunch? I just realized I didn’t get one and –”

Denise narrowed her eyes. “We get it. You think you’re better than everyone else. Not even wanting to talk or even partake in conversation. Must have slipped my mind to give you a break. I suggest you get to dinner or else you’ll miss that too.”

Luna bit her lower lip, trying desperately not to let Denise’s words get to her. It seemed as if people’s thoughts about her didn’t change whatsoever.

“I – Okay… Thank you for showing me the ropes, Denise. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” Luna left the commissary, hearing a scoff from Denise.

She walked to the cafeteria, grabbing a plate and walking to the line. Luna waited patiently, hearing her stomach growl. She had forgot about eating that it didn’t hit her until now. Besides, Luna was still adjusting to this community. Things could have been worse.

Once she got her food – soup and bread, like last night – Luna looked around to see the many occupied tables. She walked to a vacant seat at the end of a table, taking a seat and bringing her tray of food onto the table. She heard laughter and hushed whispers around her and she knew that the rumor of thinking she was better than everyone else got out.

Suddenly, the same man from earlier sat across from her, grinning from ear to ear. “Why’s a beautiful woman like you eating all alone?”

Luna looked up, swallowing the contents of her food. She really didn’t want to talk to anyone, certainly not the same man who tried to hit on her.

“Um, I don’t know…” Luna replied.

“Listen, Denise said you’ve got a stick up your ass, thinking you’re better than everyone else. You don’t talk. You just follow directions. I could give you some directions you could follow,” Justin smirked.

Luna tightened her jaw, looking directly at him. She tried her best to bite her tongue, to ignore him, but his subtle innuendo was slowly breaking her walls.

Instead, Luna opted to remain quiet which he didn’t like very much. His smirk faded and he narrowed his eyes, standing up.

“Bitch.” He muttered and Luna simply nodded. Once he walked away, she slumped forward, trying to hold herself together.

When Luna finished eating, she stood up to bring her dirty plates to the kitchen crew who offered her a sympathetic look. Luna sighed, walking back to her room to see the same three women at their beds.

“How was your first day?!” Lisa asked.

Luna shrugged, sitting at her bed. “It was fine. Organizing. Stocking. I’m just glad to be here.”

Jade narrowed her eyes, “Denise give you a hard time?”

Luna bit her lower, deciding to lie. “Not at all. She’s a very nice woman.”

Alex tilted her head, arching a brow. “You know, word got around that Denise doesn’t like you. Says you’re too damn quiet.”

Luna grabbed her green jacket, looking at the three women with sad eyes. But as soon as she let her guard down, she shook her head and motioned to the door. “We don’t have to be in bed in another hour and a half. I’m going to check the rec rooms...”

Alex scoffed. “You’ve gotta make friends in this world now, Luna. Staying quiet won’t help you. If anything, it’s what going to get you killed.”

Luna nodded, “I know… It’s not my fault if I act this way though. I appreciate you three asking how my day was. Really.” She left the room, quietly closing the door but Luna could hear the whispers from the other room.

She wished she wasn’t so shy, so quiet because Alex was right. Her behavior was already giving her enemies.

Luna decided to walk outside to take in the chillness of the night air. She glanced around, biting her lower lip. It was dark, but when she looked up, she noticed the bright light of the Moon. And for the first time since arriving, Luna smiled.

She sat at one of the tables, staring up at it as thoughts run through her mind.

“What are you doing here?” Simon asked, deciding to take a seat next to Luna.

She glanced over at him, shrugging a shoulder. “Wanted to get out. Get some fresh air, I guess.”

Simon, at first, wondered why Negan was wasting his time on a woman like this, but then he was beginning to realize why. She seemed like a woman who needed protecting, a woman who never asked for anything, a woman who obedient. She was innocent and pure, reminding both men of what the world used to be like.

“Simon, what the f – Oh, doll!” Negan smirked, sitting on the other side of her, trapping her with both men at either side of her.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed outside and –” Luna began, trying to stand up before Negan gently took her wrist to set her back down.

“Don’t fucking sweat it. Besides, you aren’t doing any harm. What the fuck are you doing here anyway? It’s cold as shit outside.” Negan noticed the way Luna looked up and he and Simon followed her gaze, arching a brow at the Moon.

“I don’t mind the cold,” Luna replied, ignoring the question.

“So, how did you manage to survive out there on your own?” Simon asked, glancing at Negan. They were both plotting a way to get her out of her shell. There was just something about her that seemed like she wasn’t all that she was.

“Was always out in the woods when I was younger. Guess my survival instincts just kicked in…” Luna shrugged. Thinking about her previous life made her want to cry, but she couldn’t. She didn’t have a sense of privacy in these walls.

“How was your first day? Heard a few fucking things, but I figured I’d get the truth from you.” Negan asked. When Luna looked over at him, she couldn’t help but get lost in his eyes. Though, before she could fall deeper, she shook herself out of her trance and shrugged a shoulder.

“Denise helped me out. It was fine.”

Negan narrowed his eyes, glancing at Simon for a moment. “Well then, how come you fucking missed breakfast and lunch?”

Luna cleared her throat. She sighed, looking down at the table. “I must have forgotten. I was working and just got distracted.”

Simon arched a brow. “One of our guys say you were treated like shit by Denise. So, what is it?”

Luna shook her head. “Just a little teasing for the newbie. You know how that goes. I did my job. I got my points. I ate dinner. I’m not complaining. It was a good first day.”

Negan tightened his jaw. He wanted to protect her from all the bad things in this world, to make her a tough woman, but the fact that she wasn’t going to let someone ruin her innocence was surprising.

Simon laughed. “You’re definitely something, Luna. Someone picks on you and you defend them, saying you had a good day. If anything, I’d say we’re lucky to have you with us.”

Negan nodded in agreement. It was odd how quiet he was. Negan was a man who loved to talk, who loved to hear himself talk, but at this moment he couldn’t find his voice.

“Just make sure you fucking get to eat tomorrow. That includes breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I’ll drop in to check on you to make sure you fucking do it.” Negan said, standing from the table as Simon followed. “And remember, lights out at 9PM. You’ve got an hour left.”

Luna nodded, looking over her shoulder at the two retreating men. “Thank you,” she called out.

Simon and Negan walk into the compound, glancing at each other before they made it to Negan’s office. Negan poured an ample amount of scotch into two glasses, handing one to his right hand man.

“What do you fucking think? You think she’s hiding something?” Negan asked, leaning against his desk.

“Honestly? She can’t be that well put together, Negan. Either she’s got thick fucking skin or she used to do something that made it easy to ignore shit like Denise,” Simon responded, taking a sip of the alcohol and letting the bitter taste settle in his throat.

“I guess we’ll just have to fucking keep prying then. At least we’ve got some information from her tonight. She loves the woods and apparently, the fucking Moon too. Ironic shit, isn’t it?” Negan downed his drink, grunting at the bitter taste.

“Do you want me to keep one of our guys on her?” Simon asked.

Negan nodded, “Yeah. She’s still a damn mystery to me. I don’t know what her story is, but I’m determined to fucking find out.”

Simon hesitated before admitting, “She may be hiding something, boss, but do you feel protective over her?”

Negan narrowed his eyes. “Protective? Did you fucking forget who I am, Simon?”

Simon instantly nodded. That was enough of an answer for him. “I’m asking because… There’s something about her that makes me want to protect her too.”

Negan whipped his head in Simon’s direction, arching a brow in a challenging way.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Are you threatening me, Simon?”

“No, that’s not what it is, boss. Listen, I’m just saying that it isn’t wrong to feel protective over someone,” Simon replied.

Negan tightened his jaw. The last time he ever felt this protective for a woman was with Lucille and he didn’t want the same outcome to happen to Luna. He didn’t need to gain any humanistic feelings for anyone because in this world, living wasn’t guaranteed anymore.

“Well, it’s a good fucking thing I’m not protective then, aren’t I? Keep one of our guys on her. See if he can befriend her. If you trust him, then I fucking do too.” Negan stood up, leading Simon out of his office. He glanced at the other man and tilted his head.

“I also meant what I said earlier, Simon. She’s mine.”

Simon sighed, shaking his head. “I may feel protective over her, but that doesn’t mean that I’m attracted to her. Sure, she’s fucking cute, but come on, boss. You know what type of women I like.”

Negan laughed. “There’s always a fucking first for everything, Simon. I just want to make sure my message gets through to you.”

“Loud and clear, Negan.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know things are very slowly picking up, but I promise there will be much more Negan in the next chapters to come! Thank you for being so patient and leaving kudos! It means so much to me! :)

It had been two weeks since Luna was taken in to the Sanctuary. Two weeks since she had been working at the commissary. Two weeks and still, she kept quiet and to herself. Luna could feel the tension with her roommates. They had tried to gather some information about her, about her old life, but Luna wouldn’t budge.

It didn’t matter anymore. Nothing in her old life mattered in this new world.

“Still not going to tell us what you used to do? If you were married, if you had kids?” Jade asked, looking over at Luna who was busying herself by tying her boots.

“It doesn’t matter anymore, Jade. Why should it? What we did in our old lives doesn’t matter anymore. What we do now, in this new world, is survive. That’s it.” Luna said, pulling her hair into a ponytail and pulling it through the hole of the hat. She looked over at the three other women.

Luna was sure that they didn’t like her. Just like everyone else she had encountered.

“Why are you such a fucking Debbie-Downer? We’re just trying to get to know you. You’ve been here _two_ weeks and we don’t get anything but your name,” Alex defended.

Luna sighed. She could understand where her roommates were coming from, but she learned early on that it was best not to get attached to people. Especially in the apocalypse because living was not guaranteed anymore.

“I’m sorry… I just don’t find the need to talk about my old life. It doesn’t matter. It never did,” Luna responded. “I’m going to get to work. I’ll see you guys tonight.”

Without another word, Luna left the room and instantly made her way to the commissary. It was going to be another rough day with Denise.

Luna, however, decided to eat breakfast. The commissary wouldn’t open for another thirty minutes, so she had enough time to eat. She picked up a tray, walking to the line and waiting for the kitchen crew to place an ample amount of scrambled eggs onto her plate. Once Luna had her food, she walked quickly to one of the tables, beginning to eat.

Luna was slowly gaining her figure back. Now that she was eating regularly, she was putting on the weight that she had lost since the world ended.

After she finished eating, Luna placed her tray and empty plate aside for the kitchen crew to clean up. She was slowly getting used to the routine. She was just glad that she was able to sleep in a bed without waking up every thirty minutes to check on any potential threats.

Walking to the commissary, Luna nodded towards Denise before taking her usual job towards the back.

“Lily!” Denise yelled.

Luna sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. “Yes, Denise?”

There was no use in trying to correct her. Luna assumed that she was simply doing it to irritate her and while it made her angry, Luna knew that it shouldn’t get to her.

“You’re late. I’m docking ten points.”

Luna widened her eyes. “What?! How am I late?! I just got breakfast! I ate as quickly as I could,” she argued.

Denise smirked. “That’s too bad. You’re five minutes late. Sorry. I guess you won’t be able to get dessert tonight. I heard the kitchen crew was making some delicious pie.”

Luna tightened her jaw, her hands clenching into fists.

_Breathe. Breathe. Breathe._

Denise was waiting for her to react, waiting for her to make the first move, but when Luna simply nodded, Denise was infuriated. Any other person would lash out, but Luna just turned the other cheek and walked away.

“Hey! I’m fucking talking to you!” Denise yelled.

Luna sighed, turning around to face her. “I’m sorry for being late, Denise. It won’t happen again.”

Denise narrowed her eyes. “You know what, I don’t need you today. You’re off. You’re not getting any points for today’s shift. Leave my work area now.”

Luna looked up at her, holding her gaze for a moment before nodding. It was a good thing she racked up a lot of points in the last two weeks. She was still going to be able to eat, but missing a day of work would cost her.

Luna left the commissary, deciding to go back to her room. She had the rest of the day to herself and she didn’t seem to know what she could do.

Luna wished that she was more talkative, more extroverted. Maybe if she hadn’t been such an introvert, not many people would hate her.

As she was walking, Luna bumped into a blonde woman dressed in a black, short dress. How was it possible that a woman was dressed _this_ way in _this_ world? It didn’t make sense.

“I’d watch where you’re going,” the woman said.

Luna looked at her, taking note that they were the same height. Luna was curvier, but this woman was much more beautiful than her. Her hair was straight, the make-up didn’t go unnoticed, and the dress… Luna would have loved to step into a dress and feel feminine even for a day.

“Sorry.” Luna replied, beginning to walk away before the blonde arched a brow.

“Oh, I know _you_. Negan talks about you with Simon.”

Luna arched a brow, turning around to look over at her. “What…? Why would they talk about me?”

“Negan says you’re quiet. Simon agrees. I can see it. What? Do you think you’re better than everyone else that you want to keep to yourself? Did someone hurt you that made you this shy? I don’t like that Negan talks about you _so_ much, you know. Luna, right? Calls you his fucking beautiful Moon,” the mysterious woman said, beginning to step forward in Luna’s direction.

Luna cleared her throat, taking a step back to keep her distance. Either this woman was a Savior or she was a wife… She realized it was the latter. There was no way a woman dressed like her would be a Savior.

“I – Negan doesn’t know anything about me. Neither does Simon,” Luna replied.

The woman laughed, instantly grabbing a fistful of Luna’s hair. Luna, however, kept a blank expression, not showing any ounce of pain or struggle from the painful grip.

“Negan’s _mine_. Remember that.” The woman pushed her against the wall roughly, causing Luna’s back to arch at the pain. She bit her lower lip, trying to hold back any tears that she was sure would appear. She didn’t need to show this woman that she was weak.

Luna just didn’t know how much more she could take of this. Maybe she was better off alone.

“I don’t even think of Negan that way. You shouldn’t be worried and –”

Suddenly, Luna was interrupted by a slap to the face. Her instincts kicked in, but she held it back. She didn’t need to retaliate by fighting her leader’s _wife_. There was no way that she would win in this situation. If Luna hit this woman, _she_ would be the one getting punished.

“Amber! What the fuck!?”

That was when Luna heard _his_ voice. He sounded angry.

“Negan, I – She started it! She called me a slut and all these names.” Amber lied, snuggling up to Negan once he was close enough.

Luna stared at the floor, cupping her throbbing cheek. She didn’t want to look up at them. She didn’t want to see the satisfied look in Amber’s eyes nor did she want to see Negan’s face.

“Is that true, doll? Did you fucking insult my wife?” Negan asked.

Luna bit her lower lip. She didn’t nod, but she didn’t shake her head either.

“I’m sorry,” she said, beginning to run back to her room. Luna needed to leave. If she could survive on her own, then she could surely do it again.

Once she made it to her empty room, Luna instantly sat at her bed, burying her face in her hands. She needed to let go of the pent-up frustration, the pent-up emotions, but she also didn’t want to cry.

Crying would indicate weakness and Luna was _not_ weak.

  _Breathe, Luna. Breathe. It’s going to be okay._

Luna shut her eyes, lying back on her bed. She moved to her side, bringing her knees to her chest. She hoped that maybe if she kept her eyes shut long enough that she would end up falling asleep…

That was until she heard her door open and the sound of boots entering her room following a slam of a door. Luna flinched, gripping her legs tighter to her chest as she felt a dip at the edge of her bed.

“Luna…”

Then she heard his voice. It was deep just as it was when they first met, but there was a hint of an apologetic tone mixed with concern. Then Luna felt his hand briefly touch her shoulder, urging her to face him.

Slowly, Luna looked over at him, biting her lower lip.

“Amber’s a fucking liar. I know you wouldn’t say the things she accused you of saying.” Negan said. He didn’t know why he had to subtly apologize for his wife’s actions. He shouldn’t even care if Luna was hurt, but here he was… Making sure she was okay.

Luna shrugged, “Okay, Negan.”

Negan narrowed his eyes. “Tell me what the fuck is your problem, Luna. You’ve been here two weeks. Two _fucking_ weeks and I’ve been hearing that you aren’t getting along with Denise. You aren’t getting along with your roommates. So, what the hell is going on?”

Luna didn’t know how to answer that. What was she supposed to say? _“Oh, yeah. I’m just super fucking shy and apparently people forget that some people have a problem making friends.”_

Instead, Luna opted to shrug a shoulder again.

“You’re making it really fucking difficult to make sure you fit in around here, Luna. You’re making enemies.”

“That’s not my fault, Negan. I have done _nothing_ for your people to hate me. I go to work every morning. I do my job, no questions asked. I’m in my bed before the curfew. I _don’t_ know…” Luna bit her quivering lower lip, moving her eyes to her hands.

“Well, that’s a big fucking problem then. Not only is it a problem, but it’s causing me a big fucking headache.”

Luna sighed, standing up. “Then kick me out. What good am I here to you if all I’m doing is making you worry?”

Negan narrowed his eyes. “I didn’t say I was fucking worried.”

“It sure sounds like it,” Luna quipped back.

There it was. Negan knew she had it in her. She wasn’t the obedient, timid woman he met. Right now, Luna was angry and Negan would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy this side of her.

“Oh, excuse the fuck out of my French, darlin’, but did you just fucking _talk_ **back** to me?” Negan grinned.

Luna tightened her jaw, sighing. She easily slipped back into her shy nature. “I’m sorry.”

Negan sighed. He needed to do a better job at breaking down her walls.

“Try and make some fucking friends, Luna. I would really hate to kick you out, especially when I fucking love looking at ya,” Negan smirked. He stood up, walking towards the door and leaving her alone in her room.

Luna sighed, looking down at her feet before she climbed back into her bed. She might as well take advantage of her day off by sleeping.

**\---**

Luna had a long, much needed nap before she was making her way to dinner. She removed her hat and hair tie, allowing her dark waves to cascade around her shoulders. She hoped that tonight’s dinner wouldn’t be as busy as it usually was, though Luna knew that would never happen.

Denise mentioned dessert and she knew that everyone in this compound would be lining up to take a slice of the sugary goodness.

Once Luna made it to the cafeteria, her eyes scanned the room. It seemed like there were more people here than last time. She grabbed a tray and stood in line, keeping her eyes downcast before it was her turn to get tonight’s dinner.

“Heard Amber roughed you up a bit,” one of the kitchen crew said, placing a full plate of food onto Luna’s tray.

Luna sighed, “I guess so.” She thanked the man with a small smile and a nod before looking around the busy room. Negan never usually ate in the cafeteria, but tonight was different. He wanted to inspect Luna and Simon thought it was a good idea.

Luna spotted an empty spot at the end of a table, walking towards it. Once she sat down, she looked around at the people sitting nearby before they got up to walk away. Luna sighed, dropping her eyes to her food and slowly beginning to eat.

The entire room was filled with laughter and quiet conversations, but Luna remained quiet. She wished that she could make friends, to have the confidence that Negan had, but it was useless.

Denise walked by Luna, intentionally dropping her cup of water onto the floor.

“Oops. Clumsy me,” Denise smirked.

Luna looked up at her with her innocent blue eyes and sighed. “It’s okay. Things happen.”

She stood up to retrieve another cup of water, sitting back down at the end of the table. It was pathetic really. Luna was capable of standing up for herself, but she was just _too_ nice. In this new world, fighting back could lead to dire consequences and she did not want to find out what they may be.

Suddenly, Luna looked up when the kitchen crew called out for dessert. She sighed, watching people stand up to get in line. She spotted Negan and Simon enjoying their own slice of pie before her eyes dropped to her less than mediocre dinner.

Negan was watching her from afar. He witnessed just how big of a bully Denise was and promised himself that he would take care of it tomorrow morning. Simon, however, followed his gaze. Instantly, both men felt pity for the innocent woman that they had both become protective over.

“She isn’t getting dessert?” Simon asked. Negan shrugged.

“Probably doesn’t have enough points.”

Simon then had an idea. He looked over at Negan and then back at Luna with a grin. “Let’s give her a piece of our pie, boss. Nothing’s better than a little bit of good hospitality.”

Negan smirked, “Genius. You are a mother _fucking_ genius.”

Both men stood from their table, walking towards Luna. Negan waved his hand to those who attempted to kneel. Right now, his mission was to get Luna to warm up to him. He had been so close earlier today. It was a sign that things were going in the right direction.

Luna looked up at both men when they set their plates of dessert onto the table, furrowing a brow.

Negan bit his lower lip at the sight of her innocence. Her eyes were piercing through his soul and it reminded him so much of Lucille. It hurt to even think about her, but this woman sitting across from him was causing memories from his old life to resurface.

“W – What?” Luna asked hesitantly.

Simon grinned. “Why don’t you have dessert? We don’t usually get the luxury of pies, but when we do, it’s like fucking heaven.”

Luna bit her lower lip. “I didn’t have any points. Denise took away the needed amount because I was late for work this morning.”

Negan arched a brow. How could she not be angry at someone depriving her of something as good as _pie_? There wasn’t even a hint of blame or anger in her voice.

“Well, here. Take a fucking bite.” Negan said, using his fork to take a piece of his own pie. He lifted the utensil to her lips as his eyes deviated. He imagined what kissing her would feel like.

“I – No, Negan. I can’t. It’s okay. Really.” Luna said, turning her head away from the offer. She couldn’t deny that it smelled so good, but she knew that if she took a bite, he would be asking for something in return and Luna did not want to owe him anything.

“Come on, Luna. One bite won’t hurt. I promise I won’t fucking take any points.” Negan urged, handing her the fork instead. He let his fingertips brush against the soft skin at her palm before pulling back.

While she wasn’t necessarily playing hard to get, Negan found it to be an even more difficult challenge to try and get her to like him.

“I would listen to him if I were you, Luna. Wouldn’t want to disappoint your leader, would you?” Simon asked, tilting his head.

“Well, no…”

“Then take a bite. I _insist_ ,” Negan replied.

With a sigh, Luna lifted the fork to her lips, widening her eyes at the sweet taste. She groaned quietly, her eyes fluttering to a close as she let her taste buds savor the taste. It had been so long since she had something as good as pie. It reminded her of the old world. It was ironic how the little things that was once overlooked is now being cherished.

Negan cleared his throat at the quiet groan that escaped her lips. He wondered what other noises Luna could make. Simon arched a brow, smirking over at Negan. He was sure that the other man was thinking the same exact thing as he was.

“Fucking good, ain’t it?” Negan asked.

Luna nodded, wiping her lips. “Thank you, Negan.”

Luna finished her food, beginning to stand up before Negan reached out to place a hand on her wrist.

“It was nice having dinner with you, despite how fucking quiet it was,” Negan said.

She bit her lower lip. Slowly, she flashed him a small smile. Negan felt his heart skip a beat at the sight. He had never seen her smile before and now, he wanted to see it all the time. Simon must have been thinking the same because he looked thoroughly surprised at just how beautiful Luna became at the sight of her smile.

“It was nice to have company for once,” Luna responded. She nodded over at Simon, letting her smile slowly fade from her lips.

She set her tray of food on the counter for the kitchen crew, glancing once more at Simon and Negan before Luna began walking away from the cafeteria and back to her room.

“She smiled. She fucking smiled,” Negan said, taking a large bite of his pie.

“We’re getting somewhere, boss. It’s progress,” Simon responded.

Negan glanced in the direction of the stairs, watching Luna disappear before he smiled to himself. Only one thought lingered in his mind and he couldn’t help but voice what he was thinking to his right-hand man.

“She’s fucking _beautiful_ , Simon.”  


	5. Chapter 5

Later that night, Luna couldn’t find sleep. She was haunted by the thoughts of her old life and how things still hadn’t changed for her. Her shy nature was still causing her trouble. She wished she could make friends and get along with everyone she encountered, but wishing wouldn’t help her.

After pulling on her boots, Luna quietly left her room. She shut the door and walked down the darkened hallway. She needed some fresh air. She needed to think. She needed to see the Moon.

Once she made it outside, Luna sat down at the one the benches. Luna was thankful that it was dark which made it impossible for the guards on duty to see her.

She slowly lied on top of the table, staring up at the starry night sky. Her eyes instantly found the Moon. She sighed, staring at it. Luna felt like she was transported back in time, consulting the Moon to help her feel better. It was becoming increasingly difficult to not let the darkness consume her.

Luna looked up at the Moon, letting a smile line her lips. It was always a reassuring light in her life. She wished that she had a window in her room, but maybe she could continue sneaking out past hours to stay out here, but that thought was short lived when she heard footsteps approaching.

Luna instantly climbed off the table to hide underneath it. She cleared her throat, bringing her knees to her chest. She hoped that the two people walking closer would just continue walking, but when they stopped at the table, Luna sighed.

Luck was never on her side.

She scooted away from the boots that were placed underneath the table. Luna shut her eyes, hoping that when she opened them, they would be gone.

“Alexandria is coming up short,” Simon said.

Negan sighed, setting his bat onto the table with a loud thud. “We’ll give them a week before we decide to barge in and give them a surprise visit. Rick should know that if they come up short again with their fucking supplies, there will be consequences.”

Negan extended his legs, causing Luna to scoot further away.

“Any news on Luna?” Negan asked.

“Still quiet as ever. The guy I have watching her says she’s incredibly boring. She lets people walk all over her. Apparently, Denise let her off for today’s workday. So, she missed a day worth of points,” Simon replied.

Luna arched a brow. Someone was watching her and she didn’t know? She was disappointed in herself. Her previous job taught her to be alert at all times. Being in this Sanctuary was making her weak.

“Well, we had a breakthrough tonight at dinner. I’m positive that that was the first fucking time she’s ever smiled,” Negan commented.

Simon extended his leg, kicking something in the process. “What the fuck?”

Luna cleared her throat, biting her tongue at the pain at her side. Suddenly, both men were crouching down, flashing a light in her face. Negan looked angry, but Simon looked amused.

“What the fuck are you doing out here?” Negan helped Luna out from the table, seeing her rub her side from where Simon accidentally kicked her.

“I just – I wanted some fresh air,” Luna stuttered.

Simon cleared his throat. “Didn’t mean to kick you, Luna. If I had known –”

Luna shook her head, “It was my fault. You don’t have to apologize.”

Negan narrowed his eyes. He wanted to be angry, but the look on her face somehow diminished his usual façade. “You’re not supposed to be out here, doll.”

Luna bit her lower lip, taking another glance at the Moon. “I know. I’m sorry. I’ll just – I’m going to go back to my room.”

As Luna was beginning to walk, Negan clicked his tongue before grabbing her upper arm. She quickly pushed his hand away with a swift push against his wrist with the end of her palm. Negan and Simon both arched a brow in her direction. There was obviously something she was hiding.

“I’m sorry, Negan. I’ve been on edge,” she admitted.

“Right. Well, you’re fucking coming back with me to my office. It seems I’ve got to give you the rundown of my rules again, Luna. Simon? You’ve got it handled down here?”

Simon nodded. “Of course. Sorry again, Luna.”

Luna simply nodded, feeling Negan drag her back into the compound. She wanted nothing more than to just push him aside, but she knew her wall was slowly coming down. It was obvious when she got defensive when Negan grabbed her wrist.

Once at his office, Luna quickly sat down at the couch, staring out the window. She sighed, dropping her eyes before she felt Negan sit next to her.

“You know my rules, Luna.” Negan said, removing his leather jacket to drape over the back of the couch. He let Lucille rest against the side of the sofa, arching a brow in Luna’s direction.

“I know. I’m sorry,” she replied.

“Then why the fuck did you think you can go out past hours then?”

Luna cleared her throat. She couldn’t break down. Not here. Not in front of _him_.

“I just wanted to clear my head. I don’t have a window back in my room. I just wanted to see the Moon…”

Negan smirked, “So, what you’re saying is that what I gave you isn’t up to your standards, is that it?”

Luna immediately shook her head. “No. God, no. That’s not what I meant. I am thankful for you saving me and giving me shelter and food. I just – The Moon comforts me, that’s all.” She cleared her throat, forcing herself to remember to not give too much information about herself.

“Why don’t you tell me what the fuck is going on, Luna?”

“Nothing is going on. I’m doing fine.”

Negan narrowed his eyes, standing to sit in front of you instead. “You’re a fucking liar and you know it. What are you hiding?”

Luna cleared her throat. “What are _you_ hiding, Negan?” She knew she would possibly get punished for talking back, but she couldn’t help it. She was getting tired of being pushed around her entire life.

If she didn’t take a stand before, she was going to now.

“This isn’t about me. We’re fucking talking about you and why you’re always so shy and so fucking timid. Those are two dangerous qualities to fucking have in this world, Luna.”

Luna narrowed her eyes, standing from her seat. Negan watched her carefully, looking up at her. He wanted to feel good about himself that he was breaking her down, but he noticed the trouble in her eyes and he wanted nothing more than to fix it. To fix _her_.

“You don’t think I know this, Negan?! My entire life I have been this way! This world is no different! People are so insensitive and closed-minded that they don’t realize that some people have problems getting along with others! Why? I don’t fucking know. I have always had this problem! If you think I’m going to have an answer for that, then you’re hoping for something that will never happen.”

Luna finally broke. She was breathing heavily. There were tears pooling at her eyes. She wanted to leave. Why couldn’t she have been bitten other than her husband? This new world was not meant for her.

Negan was taken aback by her sudden outburst. He stood up, but he didn’t dare get into her personal space. He wanted to hold her, tell her everything was going to be all right. He didn’t know what sparked these feelings, but the way she looked at him – so lost and broken – made his heart break.

But he had to remember… He was a leader. He couldn’t fall for some woman.

“Such a sad fucking story, doll… You aren’t the only one who has dealt with shit in their past life. Don’t use the –”

Suddenly, a loud _smack_ echoed through the walls of his office. Luna had slapped him. Negan was shocked.

For once, he didn’t see the apologetic look in her eyes. No, he saw courage. He saw a woman who has had enough of people stepping over her.

“You wanted to know. Don’t you dare use it against me,” Luna said, stepping away from him.

Negan smirked, grabbing her upper arm roughly. “Let’s not forget who’s in charge here. I’ll let the first slap go. I can tell you’ve been wanting to release some anger. But just so we’re fucking clear…” He pulled her closer to him, his lips merely inches from hers. “You do _not_ go against my rules ever again.”

Luna tightened her jaw, pulling away from him. She didn’t mean to take her anger out on Negan. He had done nothing but help her, but he had pushed her and pushed her until she broke.

“Okay, Negan.”

Negan grinned, motioning to the door. “You are free to leave. Get some fucking sleep.”

Luna hurried out of the room and down the stairs. She stopped halfway to sit at the steps, crying into her hands. She couldn’t do this back at her room, so she figured since she was alone, she would take advantage of her privacy.

Negan had followed her quietly, so when he noticed her breaking down at the steps, he felt guilty. He knew he had to keep his distance.

**\---**

The next morning, Luna realized what happened last night. She didn’t mean to hit Negan. She didn’t mean to sneak out. She didn’t mean to break down. So, when she finished getting dressed, Luna was going to talk to Negan.

She needed to apologize.

Luna descended the stairs, deciding to talk to him after her shift. She didn’t want to risk being late again or give Denise another reason to give her the day off.

Once at the commissary, she noticed that Denise wasn’t there yet. So, she glanced at the nearby clock to see that she was an hour early. Luna sighed, sitting at the table and waiting for her “boss” to arrive.

After an hour, Denise showed up and narrowed her eyes. “Trying to take my job, is that it?”

Luna stood up, instantly shaking her head. “No, no. I was early. I didn’t want to be late again.”

Denise stepped up to her, staring into her eyes. “Don’t think I don’t know what you’re trying to do, Luna. You may fool everyone else, but you don’t fool me.”

Luna took a step back, giving herself some space between the other woman.

“I’m just trying to make a living here… Just like everyone else, Denise. I don’t know what you think I’m hiding, but good luck trying to figure out something that is nonexistent.” Luna walked away, making her way to the shelves to begin to arrange the items.

After her shift, Luna once again realized she missed breakfast and lunch. She sighed, quickly leaving the commissary. She didn’t want to have to deal with Denise again.

Realizing she had another two hours before dinner was being served, Luna made her way outside to where the Saviors were training future Saviors on shooting and combat. She needed to release some pent-up frustration.

“Can I – Can I try?” Luna asked the man in charge. He looked at her with an arched brow.

“No. You’re just going to be wasting our time and our bullets. Go back inside and get to cooking. Dinner will be served in an hour or so.”

Luna tightened her jaw. “Dock my points.” She said simply, walking to the table and looking at the choice of guns. She spotted a similar gun that looked like hers, but as she inspected it, she knew it wasn’t. It didn’t have her initials carved in like her other one.

When she picked the gun up, Luna smiled. She felt brave. Simon and Negan walked to where she stood, shooing the man in charge away. Just as Negan was going to speak up, both men realized one of your many hidden talents.

Luna spread her legs apart, keeping them in line with her shoulders. She set the gun down and took a deep breath, shutting her eyes. With a count to three in her head, she picked up the gun and began to disassemble it in record time. When she looked down at the disassembled gun, she grinned.

“I still got it,” she whispered to herself.

Luna then took another deep breath. She put the gun back together within ten seconds and attached the silencer. It would be bad to be shooting bullets at targets and attracting the dead to the compound.

Once the gun was assembled, she brought it at eye level, keeping both arms extended as she pulled the trigger repeatedly. When she finished the bullets, Luna realized that she hit the targets directly at the bullseye.

Before she could celebrate, Luna heard clapping from behind her. Slowly turning around, she noticed Simon and Negan with grins on their faces. She also noticed that a few of the Saviors were surprised by what she just did.

“You have got some fucking explaining to do, doll.” Negan smirked, propping Lucille onto his shoulder.

“Holy shit, Luna!” Simon added.

Luna bit her lower lip, dropping the gun onto the table. “I wasn’t – I’m sorry.”

Negan maintained his sinister grin, “Sorry? Why? What you just fucking did was _awesome_! I’m glad that a few of my men were watching too. They’ve got a few things to learn from you.”

“I just needed to release some –”

Negan stepped forward. He was in her personal space once more.

“Come to my office at dinner. We’ve got a few things to discuss.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it’s been a while since I’ve updated this, but I was drawing blanks on how to continue this and also because Negan hasn’t been on TWD, so that’s also part of it. But, he’s back this week and I cannot wait! Enjoy! :)

Luna decided to take her time during dinner. She figured that Negan would lose his patience waiting for her to arrive and therefore, leave her alone. It was a stupid thought, though. There was no chance Negan would just forget about what he saw out in the yard today.

She couldn’t believe that she let a part of herself show through. At the time, it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter if a group of Negan’s men saw what she was capable of, but luck was never on her side. The moment she wanted to pick up a gun was the moment that Negan decided to show up.

When she looked down at her empty tray, she knew that seeing Negan was inevitable. If she didn’t willingly see him, Luna was sure that he would have one of his men retrieve her.

With a heavy sigh, Luna began ascending the stairs after she cleaned up after herself.

The walk to Negan’s office was a long one. It allowed her mind to drift to places it hadn’t drifted in a long time. She thought about her husband, about all the hurt and pain he caused her and their relationship. She thought about her old job and how much she loved it despite the constant “office rumors.”

Then, she thought about Negan. He had been nothing but kind to her since saving her.

Quietly sighing, Luna lifted her hand to gently knock on his door. It didn’t take more than five seconds before the door swung open to reveal a very happy Negan dressed clad in a dark grey t-shirt and black pants.

Luna noticed that his leather jacket was draped over a chair at his desk and Lucille was resting against it.

“Come on in, my sweet _Moon_. We’ve got a lot of shit to talk about.”

Luna knew there was nowhere she could go once she saw the door shut. Negan, however, noticed her discomfort and for a brief moment, dropped his usual charming grin.

“Luna, sit down. You aren’t in trouble, okay?”

Luna simply nodded, sitting at the chair at his desk. She bit her lower lip, her eyes deviating to the baseball bat. She had yet to see him use it for its intended purpose, but Luna was sure that he had nightmares about it just like she had.

It was impossible to live in this new world without the haunting nightmares.

“I’m going to offer you a position that you won’t refuse, but that’ll come later. Right now, you’re going to tell me _everything_ about you. I’m pretty sure you lied to me about what you used to do, so you have no room here to argue with me.”

“Negan –”

“No. This isn’t up for debate, Luna. You could have been out there helping us rather than stay cooped up in here with Denise who treats you like shit.”

“What I used to do in my old life doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Bullshit. Yes it does, especially if it’ll help us survive.”

“It won’t.”

“And how do you know that, Luna?”

“You don’t want me out there, Negan. I’m just going to cause you more problems.”

Negan ran hand over his slicked back hair. If Luna didn’t want to become a wife, he certainly wasn’t going to force her, but having her as a Savior would help him more than her working at the commissary would.

“How is that? You’ve got good aim. You’re good with a gun. I fail to see how that’s going to cause me more problems.”

“Negan, that doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Stop! Stop fucking saying that. It _does_ matter! It’s about life or death now, Luna. What are you afraid of? What happened to you?”

“I don’t kill.” Luna said.

“Again, bull-fucking-shit.”

“I don’t kill _anymore_.”

“And why the fuck not? It’s about survival now. You’re telling me you’d let the other person win the fight because you’re scared to be a killer? Newsflash, princess, every walker you ever killed was a person before this world turned to shit. There’s a difference between doing what you have to do and doing it because you _want_ to do it. Understand?”

Luna nodded, opting to remain quiet. Her silence only angered Negan.

“You’re not leaving this room until you tell me what you used to do, Luna.”

“Then I guess I’m not leaving.”

Negan narrowed his eyes. This was the most backtalk he had ever received from her; he didn’t know whether to be frustrated or turned on.

“Fine, don’t tell me. We’ll skip that part. About the offer I mentioned earlier… I want you to become a Savior.”

“No.” Luna replied instantly.

“You didn’t even think about it. I didn’t even give you the benefits.”

“I’m not going to become a Savior, Negan. I am happy where I’m at.”

“You sure? Because you look like you’re a ticking time bomb waiting to happen and I don’t know if I want to be there to see it. Denise treats you like shit, but your silence on the matter shows me that you’re loyal.”

“I _am_ fine where I’m at,” she repeated.

Negan knew she wasn’t going to just suddenly turn a new leaf and for a brief moment, he wished that the obedient Luna was the person he was talking to. He almost forgot what it was like when someone said no. _Almost_. Usually people at the Sanctuary were so afraid of him that they simply followed the rules and his orders.

“Give me one good reason why you won’t be a Savior and if I think your excuse is fucking good enough, I’ll let you go.”

Luna cleared her throat. When she doesn’t respond, Negan smirked.

“That’s what I fucking thoug –”

“I’m not going to kill anymore, Negan. If I become a Savior, I will do just that. I – I have to keep what’s left of humanity in me…”

“There are no more morals in this world, Luna. Stop daydreaming and wake the fuck up. Do you really think that by having an ounce of humanity left in your soul will suddenly make you get along with everyone? _Fuck_ no, it won’t. Look where it’s brought you.”

“Yeah, at the Sanctuary,” she bit back.

Negan grinned, “Are you trying to tell me you aren’t satisfied with your stay here, Luna?”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying. Negan, I _can’t_.”

“You can’t or you won’t?”

When Luna looked up at him, their eyes finally locked. Negan finally noticed the truth behind her icy blue eyes. The tears that were pooling around her beautiful eyes proved to him that there was something that she wasn’t telling him, something that he wanted to find out.

“Who hurt you?” Negan asked.

She simply shook her head.

“It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Will you stop fucking saying that?”

“How would you like it if someone asked about your old life, Negan? What would you say?”

Negan cleared his throat. She was right. It didn’t matter anymore.

“This isn’t about me. We’re talking about you right now, Luna.”

“What do you want from me, Negan?”

“Well, I would like for you to become a wife, but since that’s out of the question, I want you to become a Savior. It’ll be hell of a lot easier knowing I’ve got someone with a good shot on my side.

“You also wouldn’t have to worry about whether or not you’ll be eating. The point system will not apply to you. You’ll have your _own_ room. No roommates. Own bathroom. That’s what you’ll get when you become a Savior. _Freedom_.”

She shook her head.

“There is no such thing as freedom in this new world, Negan.”

“What do I have to do to make you say yes?”

“Nothing.”

Luna stood up, beginning to walk to the door before Negan gently grabbed her wrist. He didn’t want to startle her. He learned the first time that she was very protective of herself when someone touched her when she wasn’t aware of it. The fact that she was able to shoot a gun so well was another hint that he was finding difficult to piece together.

“You’ll get a window in your new room. You’ll get a good view of the Moon. You won’t have to sneak out past hours to fucking stare at it in the damn cold. Being a Savior doesn’t mean you’ll kill people, Luna.”

“But if it comes down to it, I’ll have a decision I would have to make. My life or theirs,” she replied.

“That’s what you call natural selection, Luna. This isn’t some new concept that the living just came up with.”

“Negan, don’t ask me to be a Savior again or else you will wake up one day and I will be gone.”

Negan stepped forward, trapping her between his body and the door. He noticed how her hands clenched into fists, but her breathing was becoming ragged. It was as if she was fighting her own inner emotions about the man.

“Is that a fucking threat? Did you just threaten me?”

“I didn’t – That wasn’t my intention.”

“Oh, don’t go cowering back into that innocent façade you’ve got going on, Luna. You’re a fighter. You’re stronger and braver than you fucking think. But just so we’re clear, you do _not_ threaten me. Not now, not fucking ever.”

“Y – Yes, okay. I’m sorry, Negan.”

“I still want you to become one of the Saviors.”

“The answer is still no.”

“What about a wife?”

Luna made a face, causing Negan to quietly chuckle.

“All right. All right. Give it a good night’s rest to think it over. Being a Savior will give you much more benefits than what you have now. You’ll also outrank Denise.”

She turned the handle on the door, glancing over her shoulder at him.

“I don’t need to think it over. It’s still a no.”

“We’ll see, doll.”

**\---**

Negan had permitted Luna to sneak out for an hour every night to stare at the Moon. He realized that if he wanted to get on her good side and find out more information then he might as well try and be nice.

When Luna left Negan’s office, he and Simon had a talk about different ways to get Luna to come out of her shell. Negan believed that she was slowly warming up to him.

“What do you want me to do, boss?” Simon asked.

“I’m sure she’s out in the courtyard right now. So, maybe try and talk to her? Try and convince her to become a Savior. Tell her all the perks you have.”

“I don’t think she’d like the fact that all of us are very immature and act like horny teenagers.”

Negan rolled his eyes. “I told you to tell her about the _perks_ of the job, not the downfalls.”

Simon chuckled. “Fine, fine. You care about her a lot, huh?”

Negan glared.

“What? Fuck no! She’s a pain in my ass.”

“Is that what helps you sleep at night?”

“Get the fuck out of my office and do what I told you to do, Simon.”

The other man laughed quietly, “All right.”

**\---**

Simon noticed Luna instantly. In the back of his mind, he felt slightly bad for her. She wasn’t fitting in anywhere in the Sanctuary and it pained him to see that she was being treated so poorly by Denise and everyone around her.

“Hey… Mind if I sit with you?” He asked.

Luna didn’t spare him a glance; she simply nodded.

“You okay?” Simon asked. He glanced up at the Moon before his eyes dropped to the woman sitting next to him.

“Negan asked me to become one of his Saviors. I said no.”

Simon arched a brow. She never initiated conversation and she certainly never shared information about herself or about her day. Maybe Negan was right. Maybe Luna was warming up to them.

“Why’d you say no?”

“I don’t want any more blood on my hands. Don’t you ever get tired of it? Doesn’t _Negan_ get tired of it?”

“You tend to forget morals once your life is in danger.”

Luna sighed. Simon made a point.

“Aside from not wanting to kill anymore, why else did you say no?”

She shrugged.

“I better get to bed. My hour is up.” Luna said.

Simon sighed, standing with her. “Mind if I walk you back to your room?”

Luna shook her head. “I guess not.”

At her door, Simon looked down at her. Her hands were trembling.

“You were badass out there today. Negan’s a bit straightforward with the things he says, but I can assure you he only wants the best for you, for us, for this entire place. If not for him, the Sanctuary wouldn’t be here and more than half of the people living here would be dead. He goes about situations in different ways, but it gets the job done.

“He does what he has to do to make sure that his people are _safe_.” Simon said, watching as Luna looked up at him.

“All I’ve done is cause you two trouble,” Luna replied.

“And what trouble could that be, Luna?”

“I got into a fight with one of his wives. Denise picks on me. I can’t get along with anyone here. That alone causes a rift in a place like this.”

“It’s their fault if they don’t understand that some people struggle with social anxiety,” Simon said.

“How did –”

“I had a cousin who struggled with it himself.”

Luna sighed, rubbing her eyes.

“Get some sleep. Think about Negan’s offer. He would never make you do anything you aren’t comfortable with, remember that.”

“Even killing?” Luna asked.

“That’s debatable because he can’t always be at your hip every time we step out.”

“Guess you’re right. I’ll give it some thought.”

Simon grinned proudly.

“Great. Good night, Luna.”

“Good night, Simon.”

**\---**

The next morning, Simon and Negan were overlooking a map for new places to scavenge. They couldn’t wait hand and foot on supplies from the Hilltop, the Kingdom, or Alexandria. They had to pull their own weight too.

Besides, it was always better to have more than what was needed.

“So, how’d last night go?” Negan asked.

“It went surprisingly well. I think you’re right. She’s warming up to us.”

“ _Us_?”

“Negan, she’s cute, but need I remind you that she’s not my type?”

He sighed, “I know, I know. I don’t know why I’m getting jealous. I’ve got five wives that I can fucking screw around with and I’m worried about getting a piece of ass that will probably never happen.”

Simon laughed, “She said she would think about your offer.”

Negan arched a brow. “Really? She seemed pretty confident with her answer when she left my office.”

“What can I say? I’m very convincing,” Simon smirked.

“Man, you’ve got to shave that fucking hideous thing on your upper lip. I don’t understand how you can get some pussy with that shit,” Negan laughed.

Simon simply rolled his eyes. “They say it tickles them in the right spots.”

“Okay, gross. It’s too early for this type of talk.”

“You started it,” Simon said, circling a town on the map.

“Did Luna say anything else?” Negan asked.

“She’s worried about giving us trouble. I think we’re her only friends here, Negan.”

“That’s what she kept saying last night. She threatened me, actually.”

Negan didn’t know why he was telling Simon this. He had to uphold an image and if word got out that he let someone go after an open threat, it would look like he was an unfit leader.

“She what?” Simon asked, eyeing him carefully.

“She said not to ask her to become a Savior again or else she’ll leave,” he sighed.

“Are you going to do anything about it?”

“I’m contemplating it. We need her, Simon. She’s a good shot and from the way she reacted a couple of weeks ago when I grabbed her wrist proves that she’s also good with hand-to-hand combat. She’s wasting her potential working at the fucking commissary.”

“What are you going to do, Negan?”

“Meet with me at the courtyard after lunch.”

**\---**

Simon’s words continued to echo in Luna’s mind. If Negan truly was a man who wouldn’t force her to do something uncomfortable, then surely he would accept her answer. Luna didn’t want to kill anymore, but Negan and Simon were both saying how much they needed her.

It felt good to be needed again, but she needed to keep in mind that she wasn’t here to appease anyone. Not even Simon. Not even _Negan_.

Luna was arranging the new books onto the shelf, her mind in a different place. She heard Denise’s voice; Luna learned how to tune her out.

Until, she heard _his_ voice.

It was Negan.

“I’ve got some business to tend to with one of your employees, Denise. Be a doll and go fetch her for me,” Negan ordered.

Luna looked over at the front table to see Denise nod, hurrying to the back. It was very satisfying to see Denise all over the place.

“Negan wants you,” she said.

Luna nodded, setting the box of books at the nearest table before she followed Denise to the front. Her eyes instantly met Negan’s and she blushed when he flashed her a smile, following a subtle wink.

“When will you have her back by?” Denise asked hesitantly.

Negan narrowed his eyes. “Does it fucking matter? You wouldn’t care anyway.”

Luna looked over at Denise, biting back a smile when she noticed that the once superior woman now felt powerless. 

“Negan, where are we going?” Luna asked.

Negan didn’t respond. Instead, he led her outside to the courtyard. It was eerily empty. She noticed Simon and a group of men standing nearby.

Her eyes scanned the small crowd. She didn’t know what was going on.

“Negan?”

Suddenly, Negan placed her gun in her hand and a knife in the other. Her eyes scanned the end of the gun, letting the pad of her thumb graze the engraving of her initials. Oh, it felt wonderful to have it back in her possession.

“Do you want to become a Savior, Luna?” Negan asked.

Luna didn’t know what to say. She was still thinking about it. Before she could respond, Negan opened the back of a truck to let out a walker.

Her eyes widened and her throat went dry. How dare he put her in this position after their talk last night.

“Life or death, Luna. Time is ticking. Get to it.” Negan yelled.

Luna shook her head, taking a step back to distance herself from the chattering teeth and extended arms. She hadn’t felt this afraid since the first time she encountered the dead.

“Negan, _please_ …”

“Kill it or you will fucking die by its hands!” Negan ordered.

This wasn’t a game anymore. Negan wanted to see what Luna was capable of. If she couldn’t kill this walker, then he wasn’t going to ask her to become a Savior anymore.

“Simon…” Luna whined, tears clouding her eyes.

“No, do not fucking call him. Do what you have to do, Luna.”

Negan let two more walkers exit the truck, watching as the three dead begin to make their way to a trembling Luna.

Suddenly, Luna dropped the knife to the ground and held the gun in the direction of the dead. Instantly, she flipped the safety off and pulled the trigger. She didn’t even break a sweat when each bullet lodged itself in each of the walker’s heads.

“Holy fucking shit! That was awesome!” Negan grinned, chuckling loudly.

Luna looked down at the three walkers, tears strolling down her cheek as she wiped it away without having anyone notice.

Her hands continue to shake, dropping the gun to the ground as well. It didn’t matter anymore. The gun that once made her feel brave simply just made her feel like a murderer.

 “That is how you fucking do it! You see that? She didn’t even break a sweat!” Negan grinned, stepping forward before he finally noticed the tears in her eyes.

“Welcome to the Saviors, Luna.” Negan said quietly.

“No,” she replied, running back into the Sanctuary.

Negan sighed, looking around his group of men. “Go back to your posts! The show is over.”

Simon walked up to Negan, shaking his head.

“You really think you accomplished anything with what you just did? You just pushed her away, Negan.”

“I didn’t know she would react that way! I thought she was just going to walk away.”

“You let _three_ of those things come at her. What game are you trying to play?”

Negan tightened his jaw, stepping in Simon’s personal space. He held Lucille over his shoulder and narrowed his eyes.

“Don’t fucking forget where you belong, Simon.”

“Of course, _boss_.”

Negan tightened his jaw, walking back into the Sanctuary. He was sure that Luna would have gone right back to the commissary. When he noticed her in the back, trying to organize the books, he could tell she was doing her best to keep herself held together.

“Luna…”

She bit her lower lip, shaking her head.

“I’m working, Negan.”

“I don’t care. We need to talk.”

“What do you want to talk about?”

“I’m sorry,” he said.

Luna looked up from her task and sighed.

“It’s okay.”

Negan tried to wonder if she meant it or if she was simply letting it go like everything else. He didn’t know which it would rather be.

“It isn’t okay. That was wrong of me.”

Luna looked up at him, “I was going to tell you that I would become a Savior… Until you pulled _that_.”

Negan sighed. He misread her.

“Can we talk later?”

“Why?” She asked.

“Give me a chance to fucking make up for it.”

Negan needed to leave, to run away, but he realized his feet were practically glued to the ground. He never found the need to apologize, but the look on her face and the tears in her eyes made him remember Lucille.

“You don’t need to make up for it. I’m fine.”

Negan sighed. “Meet me in my room for dinner.”

“Y – Your room? Why not your office?”

“Don’t question me. Just meet me there tonight.”

**\---**

Luna didn’t know what she was doing when she found herself knocking at his door. She had never gotten the chance to see what his personal bedroom was like.

Negan opened the door; he wasn’t expecting to see her.

“Hi…” She whispered.

Negan held the door open for her, allowing her to walk in.

Luna looked around. He had a four-poster bed with grey sheets. He had three large windows that allowed the perfect view of the Moon to cast inside of his room. He had a small coffee table and two sofas facing each other.

He was definitely living luxuriously.

“Like it?” He asked.

“Haven’t seen a room like this in a long time. Your bed looks so comfortable,” she bit her lower lip.

“Want to break it in?” Negan smirked.

“Is it new?”

“No, but that doesn’t mean we can’t break it in.”

“But why – _Oh_ … I’ll pass.”

Negan laughed, “So, I had Simon bring us a tray of food. No points deducted tonight.”

“Thank you, Negan.”

They ate in silence. Negan kept stealing glances in her direction, but she didn’t notice. Her gaze was out to the Moon.

“Luna?” Negan said quietly, setting his empty tray aside.

Finally, she looked at him.

“I’m sorry for today, okay? I thought it was going to help _me_ decide if I wanted you as a Savior or not. If I had known you were going to say yes, I would have never done it,” Negan began.

Luna just stared at him. He was expecting her to accept his apology or just run out and leave. She had every right to.

“You remind me of my husband,” Luna admitted.

Negan furrowed a brow. She was sharing information about her old life.

“What?” He asked.

“It’s not a good thing either.”

His smile soon turned to a frown. He could put two and two together. Negan assumed that the person who hurt her was her husband.

“And why the fuck not?” He asked.

“You have five wives, right?”

“Yes. Want to be my sixth?” Negan smirked.

Luna sighed, “Why do you have five wives, Negan?”

“Why fuck one when you can alternate?”

“Do you know how bad that sounds?” Luna asked.

Negan was aware of it, but he never forced himself upon any of his wives unless they were willing. He couldn’t reveal to Luna that having five wives was another factor to uphold his image.

“How do I remind you of your husband?”

“He cheated on me. With three other women.”

Negan cringed. Was this life’s way of giving him another chance? He had done the same to Lucille, except he never went as far as three women.

“I fail to understand how that relates to me.”

“You always want more and when you can’t have it, it just attracts you even more. My husband’s words, not mine. When I caught him, he laughed it off. He fucking _laughed_.”

Negan bit his lower lip. He noticed the tears in her eyes. It reminded him of the same look he saw earlier in the courtyard before he decided to bombard her with three of the dead. He never understood infidelity; he just knew that he partook in it.

“Why are you telling me this?” Negan asked.

“Because you wanted to know why I don’t want to kill anymore.”

He cleared his throat quietly. He didn’t know if he wanted to know anymore.

“Luna, you don’t have to tell me. I understand, okay?”

“No. I’m going to tell you.”

Negan sighed.

“We were together for a few months after the outbreak happened and when he got bit, well… I had to do what I had to do. He begged me not to do it. The look in his eyes… I couldn’t take it. I thought I would be helping him. I thought it would help set me free. I had been married to him for fifteen years.”

“Luna…”

“I lost a piece of myself when I killed him. I put a bullet straight between his eyes. No hesitation. _Nothing_. You know what his last words were?”

Negan shook his head.

“He knew I was going to pull the trigger. The truth came out. He stopped loving me after ten years. I was living a lie for the last five years of our marriage, Negan. _Five_ years. How can you wake up one day and come to the realization that after ten years of marriage, you just stop loving them?”

Negan didn’t want to speak. He knew if he did, he would end up telling her about Lucille. She also didn’t need to know that he was just a big of an asshole before this world.

“I don’t know, Luna.”

“I have always dealt with social anxiety and so, when I first met him and he was _interested_ , I thought things were going to finally look up. I lost my virginity to him, even when I wasn’t comfortable with it. I dealt with his verbal abuse for many years and I still wish that it was _me_ who died and not him. I wish _I_ was on the receiving end of that gun and not him. You would have gotten along with him. He’s very charming, just like you.”

Negan felt angry. How dare a man force himself upon a vulnerable woman like Luna?

“I wish he was alive so I can fucking kill him myself,” Negan said, gritting his teeth together.

Luna looked up at him, tilting her head at his sudden protectiveness.

“After his death, I went – I killed everything on sight. The dead. The living. I have so much blood on my hands, Negan. Some nights, I can’t sleep because I see their bodies lying in a heap of blood that _I_ caused.”

“You’re not the only one, okay? I have nightmares too, but I do what needs to be done in order to protect everyone in the Sanctuary. Do I wish there were better circumstances? Fuck yes, but this is our world now. If we don’t make the first move, we wouldn’t be alive right now. You’re here because you’re brave, because you’re _strong_ , Luna.”

Negan hesitantly cupped her cheek. He was surprised to feel her leaning against his touch. He couldn’t take advantage of her. At first, Luna was simply someone he wanted to bury his dick into, but now, he couldn’t imagine that unless she wanted it just as bad.

And if it never happened, then Negan wouldn’t mind. She reminded him so much of Lucille – putting other people before herself. She was so selfless and kind and it made him want to protect her.

Maybe life was giving them both a chance to fix things that they couldn’t with their significant other.

“Just because you don’t get along with people doesn’t mean that you’re weak, Luna.”

“It’s just –”

“It’s who you are. Fucking embrace it,” Negan advised.

Luna smiled. Negan felt his heart skip a beat. It had been the second time he had seen that beautiful smile of hers and it was up close and personal.

“You told me about your husband… You told me about why you don’t kill anymore… But what did you used to do before this?” Negan asked, dropping his hand once Luna looked away to look up at the Moon again.

“I worked the Intelligence Unit for the Atlanta Police Department,” Luna admitted.

Negan cleared his throat.

“I was not fucking expecting that. Explains why you’ve got a good shot.”

“Negan?”

He looked down at her, meeting her eyes.

“Yes?”

“Don’t tell anyone, okay?”

“Why not? If people know how badass you are, they won’t hurt you.”

“I can handle anyone who tries to hurt me, but just – What I said in this room stays between you and I.”

Luna bit her lower lip, looking into the man’s hazel eyes. It felt so familiar. She always lost herself in her husband’s eyes when they first met. The only difference between Negan and her husband was that Negan understood boundaries and despite his constant bluntness, he was still aware that people had feelings.

“Fine, but can I fucking tell Simon? He’s pissed at me for what happened earlier.”

“As long as he doesn’t tell anyone else… I actually like the both of you. You two are my only friends here in the Sanctuary.”

“I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing. You’ve got the two top men by your side. Makes you feel safe, don’t it?” Negan smirked.

“Guess so…”

Slowly, Negan stood up and slipped his leather jacket on. He grabbed Lucille and walked towards the door, holding it open for Luna.

“Come on.”

“Where are we going?”

“You know, I kind of liked it when you didn’t ask so many questions.”

“I can go back to remaining quiet if you’d like.”

Negan narrowed his eyes. “Nope. I definitely like this sassy side of you.”

Once they hit another floor, Luna took notice at how the doors seemed more spaced out.

When Negan opened the door to a vacant room, her eyes widened. Luna didn’t even glance at the furniture or the decorations, she simply ran towards the window. She got the _perfect_ view of the Moon.

“This room is yours as long as you become a Savior. You will kill if need be, but other than that, you won’t do anything you aren’t comfortable with, Luna.”

She smiled again.

“Simon was right.”

He arched a brow.

“About what?”

“He said if I chose to become a Savior, you wouldn’t let me do anything that didn’t feel right, but there may be situations where I may have to kill in order to save my life, or someone else’s.”

Negan grinned. He was going to reward Simon big time.

“So, what’s it going to be, Luna?”

“Y – Yes… Okay. I’ll be part of the Saviors.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah. Simon has become a regular character in this story. I also got carried away with this. There’s also sections that are in Negan’s POV. I haven't gotten the chance to read this through, so there may be some errors. I apologize in advance! Enjoy!!!
> 
> Warning: Usual cursing bc it's Negan ;)

It was Luna’s first night in a room alone. It had been so long since she had privacy and four walls to protect her from the world. She couldn’t sleep though. The truth was out. Negan knew about her past life, knew about her husband, and she didn’t know how to feel about it.

It felt good, though, to be able to talk to someone about her problems. Negan was a good listener when he wanted to be and it reminded her so much of her husband when they first started dating. She just hoped that Negan didn’t have a hidden side to him that her husband had.

The following morning, there was a knock at her door. She had changed into black jeans and a faded dark gray shirt, tucking the front of it into her pants before opening the door. Her hair was still wet from her shower, but when she noticed Simon standing on the other side of her room, she sighed in relief.

She didn’t know if she could handle Negan’s loud mouth this early.

“Negan told me you decided to become a Savior.” Simon said, walking into the room after Luna allowed him to step inside.

“I did,” she said, bringing the towel to dry the tips of her hair.

Simon sat at the edge of her bed, watching her carefully. “He also told me about what you used to do…”

Luna bit her lower lip, walking into her bathroom to set the towel onto the rack to dry. She glanced over at him and shrugged, using a brush to comb through the tangles in her hair.

“Okay…” She said, deciding to crawl back into her shell.

“Don’t do that… We’re friends, right?”

Luna nodded.

“Then you don’t have to be shy around me. If you’re a Savior, we’re going to have to communicate,” Simon advised.

“I’m sorry. It just happens naturally.”

He sighed, running a hand over his mustache. “And you don’t have to apologize for everything.”

Luna sat next to him, glancing over at him before she bit her lower lip. Her hands were shaky because at the thought of trying to converse with him was slightly terrifying. Not many people liked to talk to her, so she never had the confidence or the desire to start a conversation.

“Uh…” Luna began.

Simon arched a brow, looking down at her. “Uh?”

“Did Negan tell you everything?”

Simon nodded, “Yeah. Your husband is an asshole.”

“I loved him. I think I still do, to be honest.”

“Why? He cheated on you. Why would you still love him?” Simon asked.

“I don’t expect you to understand, Simon, but please don’t talk about it like you know all the details,” Luna said, her eyes dropping to her hands as she brought them onto her lap. She didn’t expect this type of conversation to happen this early in the morning.

“All I’m saying…” Simon began, standing up from her bed, “I would be perfectly happy and more than satisfied to have someone like you as a wife.”

Luna bit her lower lip, blushing as she stood up and followed him, “Thank you, Simon.”

He tried to brush off the compliment and only then realized how it sounded. Luna was off-limits. She belonged to Negan, even if she wasn’t aware of it.

“Come on. Let’s get some breakfast and then I can show you what some of the Saviors’ duties are. We can even stop by the commissary to rub it in Denise’s face, if you’d like.”

Luna shut her door and followed him down the hall and towards the flights of stairs. As satisfying as that sounded, she didn’t want to get on the other woman’s bad side even further. It was bad enough that Denise hated Luna; she didn’t want to add more drama in the Sanctuary.

“Um, that’s not necessary. I’m fine with having breakfast and then you giving me a tour of the duties of a Savior. No need to go to the commissary.”

Simon shook his head, descending the stairs, “She treated you like shit and you don’t want to flaunt that you’re the newest Savior? Come on, Luna. _Really_?” He grinned.

Luna giggled at the sight, biting her lower lip. He looked silly with his big grin and that horrendous mustache.

“I’m sure word will go around that I’m the newest addition. It’s fine. Let’s get some breakfast.”

Simon smiled. He wished he had her restraint and the ability to turn the other cheek. If it were him, he would not hesitate to be petty. Though, he did make her laugh and that made him smile even further. She was slowly warming up to him. Simon could tell Luna was getting comfortable with him.

As they were eating breakfast, Simon nodded behind her before she felt Negan take a seat next to her. Luna cleared her throat, looking up at him and flashing a polite smile.

Negan grinned, setting Lucille onto the table before he glanced at Simon.

“You ready for your first fucking day as a Savior, Luna?” He asked.

She nodded, bringing the forkful of scrambled eggs to her lips. Luna chewed quietly, glancing over at Negan and Simon before her eyes dropped. She could tell there were many pairs of eyes watching the trio and it sparked her anxiety once more.

When Negan took notice that her hands were beginning to shake, he furrowed a brow.

“Are you okay?” Simon asked.

“Y – Yeah. People are just staring. I’m not used to people staring.”

Negan nodded, slamming Lucille gently against the table to get everyone’s attention. It caused Luna to jump in surprise.

“I’d say take a mother _fucking_ picture to make it last longer, but we don’t have those resources. Keep your eyes elsewhere and your fucking business to yourself. As you were!” Negan demanded, watching as the people in the cafeteria dropped their eyes to their food.

“Thank you,” Luna said.

“No need to thank me, doll. Simon and I here want you as comfortable as possible. You should feel fucking special. We don’t always take our time out to help a new recruit.”

Luna furrowed a brow. It always surprised her how Negan’s personalities could shift. Though, she liked the version of him from last night. There was something about a fearless leader dropping his guard to make sure someone was all right. Luna had to believe that he didn’t do that for everyone.

“Oh… Well, I appreciate it,” Luna said, peeling open the banana. She took a bite of the fruit, her eyes wandering around the cafeteria absently.

Simon and Negan both clear their throats. They were too focused on watching her eat the banana that they weren’t aware of the blush appearing on her cheeks when she finished.

“Are you guys okay?” Luna asked.

Negan and Simon both begin to stutter, causing another giggle to escape from Luna’s lips. Negan widened his eyes at the sound that escaped her. He had never heard her laugh before.

“Yeah. We’re fucking peachy!” Negan said, flashing her a grin.

Simon nodded in agreement, rubbing the back of his neck. “We should get going, Negan. Gotta show her around.”

Before Negan could reply, Luna stood up and grabbed their trays. She brought it to the counter of the kitchen and smiled politely at the older man who returned it almost instantly.

“Did you see the way she fucking ate that banana?” Negan whispered, shaking his head.

Simon laughed quietly, “I don’t know if I should answer that, boss.”

“You’re right. Don’t answer it.”

Luna walked back to the table and nodded towards the two men. “I’m ready.”

**\---**

Negan and Simon had both walked at either side of her, placing her directly in the middle of both men. Luna didn’t mind though, surprisingly. She felt much safer with them near her side than she ever did in her entire life. Though, she would never admit that out loud.

Negan and Simon knew the right amount of details about her old life that she didn’t want to reveal anything else.

“You come on supply runs with us. You take watch when it is your shift. You patrol the area. Basically, as a Savior, it is your job to protect the people living in the Sanctuary. If something goes wrong, you have to be willing to sacrifice yourself before the people here,” Negan said, walking outside. They were standing against the railing, looking out at the front gates with many of the dead chained to it – probably to prevent the dead from coming into their home.

Luna bit her lower lip. The Sanctuary was now her home. She never thought she would ever feel that again.

“What do the supply runs consist of?” Luna asked.

Simon looked down at her, “Well, we visit other communities. We provide them security and they provide us with food, medicine, anything of the like.”

Luna furrowed a brow.

“That doesn’t seem fair. If they’re giving us food, shouldn’t we do the same? I mean, it’s only fair that we reciprocate the kind gesture,” she reasoned.

Negan shook his head. “I’m going to be real fucking honest with you, Luna. We take care of the dead for them. We take care of potential living threats for them. They return the favor by scavenging for us. It’s pretty fucking simple.”

Luna cleared her throat. She got the idea that it wouldn’t be a wise choice to argue with Negan. He was her leader and if Luna was still the same woman before the apocalypse, then her loyalty to Negan would go a long way.

“Okay,” she replied.

“That’s it? Fucking okay? You’re not going to argue with me?”

“Why would I argue? We abide by your rules and if you think that the way you go about things will keep us safe, then by all means… Continue doing what you’re doing.”

Simon arched a brow, glancing at Negan.

“That sounds like fucking sarcasm. Are you being sarcastic? Is she being sarcastic, Simon?”

The other man shrugged a shoulder, only chuckling when he noticed the pure innocence on Luna’s face. She was being honest.

“I – No…” Luna replied.

Negan narrowed his eyes, shrugging a shoulder. In the back of his mind, he couldn’t but think about last night. It was the first time since bringing her to the Sanctuary that she finally gave in and told him about herself.

Though, it wasn’t what he was expecting. When Luna mentioned that he had reminded her of her husband, he thought that to be a good thing until she elaborated. He spent the entirety of last night thinking of Lucille. He wished he could go back in time and change how things were; it made him wonder that if he was faithful, would she still be alive today?

“Tomorrow, we’re going to visit Alexandria. One of the newer communities that we came across. You will be joining myself, Simon, and Dwight in one truck. The rest of the trucks are for the other Saviors,” Negan said, leading her back inside.

Simon followed. If he was being honest with himself, Simon thought Luna was beautiful. She was innocent and pure in this ugly, new world. Every time he looked at her or talked to her, all his troubles and the lingering thoughts of the dead managed to disappear from his mind. He felt relaxed and calm when she was in his presence.

It was bad news for him because once Negan liked a woman, there was no way any other man would get the chance to be with her. Simon didn’t mind though. His life was far more important to risk his relationship with Negan for some woman.

Both men dropped her back off at her room, stepping inside without invitation. Luna cleared her throat, walking to the fridge and opening a bottle of water.

“Um, did you guys want something to drink?”

Negan laughed, sitting at the single couch. “Look at you being all fucking polite because you’ve got guests in your room. It’s actually really fucking cute. Here we are, living in the fucking apocalypse and you’re still goddamn polite.”

Luna blushed, sitting at the edge of her bed and removing her boots to bring her legs onto the mattress. She felt comfortable with them; she didn’t feel the need to hide anything about herself since they knew most of what other people didn’t.

“So, no on the drink. Okay.”

Simon chuckled, taking a seat next to her. When she didn’t protest or move away, he smiled to himself. Negan, though, felt jealous. He wanted to be the one sitting next to her.

“I’ve got a little something for you, doll.” Negan said. He stood up from his seat to retrieve her gun from behind his back. He set it on her lap and watched as her lips lifted to a broad grin. Negan could faintly see a dimple. Luna never ceased to amaze him. She was like a breath of fresh air.

“It’s my gun…” She smiled, letting her fingertips run across the initials.

“You’re going to need a weapon. Plus, I fucking trust you now that I know you’ve got a good fucking shot.”

“You definitely surprised the hell out of us the other day when you were at the courtyard. Just like how I was surprised that you were the woman who hit Davey straight across the face. What else do you have hiding under your sleeve?” Simon teased.

Luna giggled. Negan tightened his jaw. How come it was so easy for Simon to make her laugh when he couldn’t even do it?

“Didn’t your parents ever tell you to never judge a book by its cover?” Luna replied.

“Not gonna lie, doll, but you’re tiny compared to the both of us. I can assure you it’s difficult to believe at first,” Negan interrupted.

Luna looked up at him, locking eyes with him for a few moments. “Well, it did take me a while to learn self-defense.”

“So, if I were to come up behind you and try and choke you, you’d know what to do?” Simon asked.

Luna nodded proudly. “I sure do. I can say that you’ll be lying on the floor if you ever try, too.”

Negan chuckled. She was slowly lowering her guard down to allow both men a glimpse of the _real_ Luna. It was nice to see her loosening up. He had come to enjoy the sound of her voice.

“She just fucking threatened you, Simon.”

Simon laughed, putting his hands up in the air. “I promise to never catch you by surprise.”

Luna smiled, laughing afterwards. “Good. I’d hate to hurt you.”

**\---**

**NEGAN’S POV**

God. These two were fucking flirting right in front of me. The only reason why I didn’t interrupt was because she’s actually laughing. Luna was actually enjoying herself. I would be a selfish bastard if I were to take that away from her.

Then again, when _wasn’t_ I a selfish bastard?

Though, there was something about her that I couldn’t quite place. Maybe it was the fact that her previous life was ironically similar to my own. She was her husband’s Lucille, in a sense.

What the fuck am I doing? I just fucking compared her to Lucille. That shit never happens.

Oh god. Simon is grinning at her and Luna actually giggled. I tuned out what they were talking about. I was too focused on her laughter and her smile to even pay attention to what was going on.

I had come to love the sound of her voice, the sound of her laughter.

Fuck. Did I just say love?

_Damn it, Negan. Do not become a pussy now. She’s not Lucille. She will never be Lucille. So, stop right the fuck there._

I look at her, holding her gaze. I don’t smile. I don’t laugh, but oddly enough, I could tell that she was more interested in me. Simon would never dare to try and make this a competition, but I’ll let him have his fun.

Everyone needed someone like Luna one time in their life. Sure, she was fucking quiet, but once she opened up, she was actually really a fun time. And not in the fucking sense that I wish it was in either.

“So, will that be okay with you, Negan?” Simon interrupted.

Fuck. What were they talking about?

“Huh? Oh, yeah, sure. It’s fucking fine.” I lied. I had no idea what I just fucking agreed to.

“Wait, really?” Luna furrowed a brow.

“Why are you so fucking surprised, doll?”

“You’re really okay with having a couple of drinks tonight? The night before we’re supposed to go on a supply run?”

Well, fuck me. I would not mind having a few drinks with her, but she made a good point. I could tell what Simon was thinking when he offered, but the supplies were important.

“How about one drink for the each of us and then we call it a night?” I negotiated.

Luna bit her lower lip. Fuck. Now I’m thinking back to breakfast when she was eating that banana. She was taking her time as if she was mesmerizing the taste and if that wasn’t a preview of what she could do with her lips with something _else_ , then I don’t know what to think of it as.

Who am I kidding? I was definitely imagining that it was my dick. Yeah. It was bad, but she’s just so fucking cute and hot at the same damn time. I never knew it was possible.

Simon seemed satisfied. He probably wanted another damn excuse to hang out with Luna. I couldn’t blame him though. I didn’t want to leave her room.

“Oh, okay. That sounds reasonable,” she finally replied.

“Great. Your fucking room it is,” I grinned.

The look on her face was fucking priceless. She looked surprised, but there was that underlying innocence to it like always.

“Wait, what? My room?”

“That is what I said, Luna.”

“Why not your room? It’s big enough for the three of us.”

“My room is off limits.”

“But I –”

“Off fucking limits, Luna.”

She sighed. Damn it. I didn’t mean to upset her. I could practically see her crawl back into her shell.

Before I could say anything or apologize, Dwight’s voice comes through the walkie-talkie. This is my chance. Get rid of Simon and I can finally talk to Luna alone.

“Go and see what Dwighty boy fucking wants,” I tell Simon.

The good thing about Simon and why he was my right-hand man was that he was loyal, but he was also willing to do whatever was asked of him without any questions. I think he used to serve in the military or something. He never told me, but that was the least of my worries now that Luna and I were alone.

**\---**

“You coming into my room was a one-time thing,” Negan said.

Luna nodded, dropping her eyes to the floor. She knew that Negan was a secretive man. While she told him her secrets, there was no way he was going to do the same. He had an image to uphold and if he told her his secrets, they would eventually come out. Negan didn’t want to risk that.

“I understand,” Luna replied.

“No, you obviously fucking don’t. No one steps foot into my room unless it’s to bring my Lucille back to me. Not even my wives are allowed in there.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel special?” Luna didn’t know why she was feeling offended. Negan wasn’t someone she was interested in (though, she was lying to herself). His words shouldn’t affect her as much as it was right now.

“I’m just telling you that my room is off limits for tonight. That’s all. Can we drop the fucking conversation already?”

Luna nodded. She remained quiet. She didn’t mean to upset him.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

Negan sighed, rubbing a hand over his scruff. “It’s not your fucking fault. Stop apologizing.”

“Okay…”

Luna brought her legs closer to her chest. She felt very inferior at the moment. She didn’t know why Negan had such an effect on her – maybe because he reminded her of her husband.

“I should – Um, I should try and patrol the gates,” she suggested.

“Wait, listen, fuck. I’m not used to this sentimental bullshit. I’m sorry, okay? I don’t know why I’m such in a piss poor mood. Maybe it has to do with seeing you flirt with Simon when I’m right fucking here,” he admitted.

Luna furrowed a brow in confusion. She could only think of one thing. “A – Are you jealous, Negan?”

“What? Fuck no!” He lied. Negan thought he was a good liar, but he forgot that it was Luna’s job to read people and he was sure that she could read right through his lies.

“You’re lying,” she said.

“It’s just disgusting, that’s all. I’d rather not watch you two go at it.”

“Simon isn’t my type,” Luna said.

Negan perked up. Maybe he had a chance after all. Ever since Luna was brought back to the Sanctuary, he found himself spending less and less time with his wives and more time thinking about her. When she finally opened up to him, he realized why he felt such a strong connection with her.

She reminded him of _Lucille_.

“What is your fucking type then?”

Luna blushed. Negan arched a brow in curiosity.

“Why the fuck are you red in the cheeks, doll?” He added.

“I’m not red!” Luna said, trying to cover up her cheeks.

Negan grinned, standing from his chair to sit next to her. He tried to remove her hands from her face, gently grasping her wrists. He didn’t want to startle her – he knew how that would end up like.

“You’re fucking blushing. What did I fucking say?” Negan smiled. For once, in a very long time, it wasn’t fake. His smile was genuine and sincere.

Luna looked up at him, staring into his eyes. Then, Negan felt his heart flutter at the sound that escaped her lips.

She giggled and it was because of _him_.

**\---**

**NEGAN’S POV**

Fuck. She giggled. I did it. I made her laugh.

I swear my fucking cheeks hurt from smiling. It reminded me of Lucille when I first made her laugh. She was also a tough cookie to crack, but eventually, it happened.

I know I shouldn’t get close to Luna, but I couldn’t help it. Not only was she fucking nice to look at, but when I’m around her, she reminds me of the old world. She reminds me of my relationship with Lucille.

I look at Luna and I think of Lucille.

I think of Lucille, and then my mind shifts to Luna.

It was confusing to say the least. I haven’t even fucked any of my wives since Luna was brought in here. I don’t know why I can’t even bring myself to even get hard around them, but with Luna, it was fucking easy.

God damn it. Now my mind has drifted back to her eating that banana.

But when I look back at Luna, her eyes stare straight into mine. She was so innocent, so shy and timid… I want to fucking protect her from this world.

Just like how I wanted to protect Lucille, but in the end, I wasn’t able to.

I know I shouldn’t blame myself, but I can’t help it. I was a fucking lying, cheating bastard. I was built for this world, but the way Luna was looking at me was the Lucille used to look at me.

I knew I was a monster before and now, but Luna looked at me differently.

It was refreshing to know that there was someone out there who didn’t look at me like I enjoyed killing innocent people. This was survival of the fucking fittest. No one was innocent anymore.

“So? What is your fucking type? You’re stalling. I can tell,” I repeat.

Luna bites her lower lip, dropping her eyes shyly. Fuck, she’s so cute, looking all innocent and shit.

“Well, uh, _you_. I always loved a man with facial hair. A man who is really tall. Dimples… I just – Dimples are cute.”

Fuck me. She was into me. Fuck yes. I had the upper hand now, but I knew she would never be with me unless I got rid of the wives and even then, I don’t know if Luna was worth it to make that big of a change.

“It seems like I’m your fucking dream man, then.”

Luna blushes again.

Fuck _yes_. I’m on a damn roll today.

**\---**

“I don’t believe in things like that anymore,” she said.

“Well, you just fucking described your type of men as _me_. I’d think that’s saying something, Luna.” Negan chuckled, releasing her hands.

“You asked me what my type was. That’s my honest answer.”

“Did your husband look like me?” Negan asked hesitantly. He noticed her stiffen up, biting her lower lip once again. It must have been a habit of hers.

“Not even close. He had blonde hair, blue eyes. Clean shaven. He was like a Ken doll. I didn’t know what he saw in me when he first approached me.”

“You’re fucking cute, that’s what he saw in you.”

Luna blushed again. Negan grinned proudly. He couldn’t wait to rub it in Simon’s face.

“You don’t have to return the compliment, you know.”

“You kidding me? Have you fucking looked in the mirror lately, Luna?”

“You have five other wives who are much prettier than I am.”

“To you, maybe. You become my sixth wife and you’ll be the fucking hottest one there.”

Luna narrowed her eyes, “You know I’ll never be a wife when you’ve got five others.”

“So, if I give them all up, you’d fucking reconsider?”

She hesitated. Negan smiled. He knew her answer before she even spoke.

“I don’t even know you,” she answered.

“What do you want to know?”

“What did you do before this?”

Negan cleared his throat. “Doesn’t matter.”

“Okay, now I see why that answer was annoying you when you first asked me. I get it now.”

Luckily for Negan, she dropped the conversation. Luna knew when not to press the matter forward. Hopefully, he would open up to her on his own without anyone forcing him to talk. It was much easier when they were ready.

“Anyway, your suggestion about patrolling the gates… I think that’s a fucking good idea.”

Negan stood from her bed, retrieving Lucille and draping it over his shoulder. He walked towards her door and opened it, holding it for her.

Luna nodded, slipping her boots back on and tucking the gun in the front of her pants. Negan watched with interested eyes. He couldn’t believe there was a woman he was interested in that didn’t expect him to take care of her.

Once they were at the gates, Negan glanced around. He noticed a few other Saviors walking around, making sure the gates were intact and the walkers weren’t putting any weight against it.

“All you do is walk around. Make sure everything is okay. If you see anything suspicious, call it in. I’ll be here in a fucking instant,” Negan said, handing her a walkie-talkie.

Luna nodded, setting it on the waistband of her pants. “Got it. Thank you, Negan.”

**\---**

An hour passed since Negan left Luna to patrol the front gates. She was bored, actually. All she did was walk back and forth and after fifteen minutes, she was tired of seeing the same view of the perfectly intact gates and the walkers who were surprisingly minding their own business and not coming at her.

That was until she heard a few footsteps approach her. She turned around to see two men staring at her with a grin. Luna tightened her jaw, her hands turning into fists as if she was getting ready.

“So, you’re Luna, huh?” One man asked.

Luna nodded. They weren’t Simon or Negan, so she was back to her usual shy self.

“Denise said you don’t fucking talk much. I’m sure we can help you with that.”

Luna opted to remain quiet. She didn’t want to move. She was afraid that if she did, these two men would deem it as a threat and charge at her.

“I get it. You’re quiet. You’re probably a freak in the sheets, aren’t ya?” He chuckled to his friend.

Luna shook her head, dropping her eyes.

“Oh, so a virgin, huh? Even better,” the other man grinned.

“I would like it if you both were to walk away and leave me alone now,” she said politely.

“And she fucking talks! Wow. You’ve got an adorable voice, ya know that?”

Both men chuckle, watching her carefully. They knew Negan’s rules and that meant _no rape_.

“That’s okay. You’re probably a screamer in bed though. I’m willing to find out.”

One man stepped forward and reached a hand out before Luna quickly grabbed his wrist in a tight grip and pushed him on his back on the grass with an open hand against his throat. She crouched down with him, keeping a tight hold on his wrist and his throat.

“Shit! You’re fucking crazy! Get the fuck off of me!” He begged.

Luna shook her head, pulling away from him and rubbing her hands together.

“I’m sorry…” She said.

“Yeah right, bitch.”

Simon walked up to them, arching a brow. He looked down at Luna and furrowed a brow. She looked upset.

“Hey, Luna? Why don’t you head on up to your room? I think your shift is over.”

Luna looked up at him with that same innocent, pure look in her eyes. Nodding, she hurriedly ran inside.

Simon looked at the two men. “Do not fucking touch her. Do not try and make advances at her either. The world may have ended, but you will treat a woman with the respect she deserves. Do you understand me?”

Both men nod instantly. Not only were they afraid of Negan, but they were also afraid of Simon.

“Y – Yes, sir.” They both stutter.

“Good. Now get back to work.”

**\---**

“I said one drink each. Don’t pull those puppy eyes on me, doll.” Negan said, watching as Luna downed one bottle of her beer.

Simon and Negan both weren’t expecting Luna to be able to hold her alcohol, but here she was, demanding another drink.

“What puppy eyes?” She said, giggling quietly.

Negan and Simon arched a brow. Okay, maybe she wasn’t able to hold her alcohol after all.

“You’re already tipsy, Luna. Must be because you downed that entire bottle without hesitation. I’m sure it’s hitting your system fast.”

“Can I just have _one_ more, _please_?” Luna begged.

“No, Luna.”

“Do I have to get on my knees like everyone does for you, Negan?” She giggled, moving to drop to her knees.

Negan and Simon clear their throats. First they witnessed her eating a banana with such attention and slowness that they couldn’t help where their mind drifted to, but now she was on her knees.

“Luna, come on. Get up,” Negan said, standing on his feet. He shouldn’t have done that because now when she leaned up onto her thighs, she was in direct view with his crotch. Instantly, he sat back down again. He didn’t want to ruin the mood with a hard on.

“One more drink…” She pleaded.

“You can take one sip of mine and one sip of Simon’s and that’s it.”

Luna grinned, nodding. “Deal!”

She stood up and Negan handed her his bottle, widening his eyes when the innocent sip turned into a big gulp. He snatched it out of her hands and shook his head.

“I said a sip! You drank almost half of my beer!” Negan exclaimed. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t amused, but somehow, he liked seeing the normal Luna rather than the one he was currently in the presence of.

When Luna turned to Simon, the man shook his head, laughing quietly. “Oh no. You’re not tricking me. I’m smarter than that.”

“Oh, fuck you, Simon.” Negan rolled his eyes at the subtle insult, leaning back against the couch as he downed the rest of his drink.

Luna then removed her boots and proceeded to unbutton her pants in front of both men. It was almost as if she forgot she wasn’t alone.

“Um, Luna…” Simon began.

Negan sighed, standing up and resting a gentle hand on her shoulder. She turned around and flashed him a flirtatious smile.

“You’re cute,” she giggled.

“Thanks, doll. Look, we’ll let you get some rest. Tomorrow’s a big day for you.”

Luna dropped her pants to her ankles, standing clad in her small t-shirt and black panties.

Negan cleared his throat.

So did Simon.

“Do you guys want to have some fun?” She asked.

Both men glanced at each other.

“Luna, go to bed. We’ll see you tomorrow morning,” Negan said.

Luna pouted and Negan chuckled. She was still so cute.

“Ugh, fine! Be a party pooper. What about you, Simon?”

The other man bit his lower lip, shaking his head.

“Sorry, Luna. Not gonna do that while you’re intoxicated,” he answered.

Negan shot Simon a glare.

“Or ever, actually,” Simon added.

“Fine! I’ll just have fun by myself.” Luna lied back on the bed, removing her shirt and tossing it to the floor. Just as she was going to undo her bra, Negan cleared his throat and picked Simon up by the back of his shirt.

“All right! That’s enough. Good night, Luna.”

He gently brought the blanket over her half-naked body and led Simon out of the room. Negan knew that the minute her eyes shut, Luna would have fallen asleep.

“Okay, so the girl can’t handle her alcohol. Duly fucking noted,” Negan chuckled.

“Are we going to tell her what she just did in there?” Simon said, sipping on his beer.

“I don’t know. Do you think we should?”

“I’m kind of eager to see how she’ll react. I’m willing to bet she’ll blush,” Simon answered.

Negan grinned, “I’m willing to bet she’ll deny it.”

“Both sound like they’ll happen, yeah.”

“Well, we’ve got a fucking long day tomorrow. We’re seeing Rick the Prick, so let’s hope he delivers this time,” Negan said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Simon nodded, “All right, boss. See ya tomorrow.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this part is just the set-up for what will happen for the next few chapters. Enjoy! :)

“Rise and shine, doll! We’ve got some fucking business to tend to today!” Negan yelled from the other side of the door, banging on it gently with the end of Lucille.

Luna had already been ready for today’s events, but that didn’t mean that Negan didn’t startle her. Before he could even decide to yell again, she opened the door and stared at him with narrowed eyes.

“Well, I don’t think I’ve ever seen this look on you. I’ve got to admit. I don’t know if I should be offended or turned on.”

“Why do you find the need to bang on my door so loudly, Negan?”

“I thought you would be slacking. Apparently, I was fucking wrong. You’re all set and ready to go.”

“You did say to be ready by seven.”

Negan grinned, stepping into her room. Luna sighed, shutting the door behind him before she pulled on a dark flannel to place over her black tank-top. She set her gun in its holster at her upper thigh, bringing her hair into a neat ponytail.

“You’re going to do fucking great as my Savior, Luna.”

She bit her lower lip, glancing up at him. “No killing, right?”

“I can’t promise you that, but I’ll try and prevent you from the one doing it. If the situation calls for it, you know what you have to do right?”

Luna nodded, dropping her eyes to her boots. She couldn’t imagine killing anymore, so she hoped that today ran smoothly. She didn’t want to hurt anyone.

“Luna? Look at me.”

She shook her head.

“Luna…” Negan said assertively.

Slowly, her eyes lifted to look up at him. He almost looked sympathetic.

“I’ll be okay, Negan.”

“I know you will be, doll, but I want you to know that Simon and I will make sure that you pull that trigger only when you _need_ to. Other than that, you’re going to be there as my Savior. Plus, you’re nice to look at,” he winked.

Luna blushed before turning her head to hear a knock at the door. She slowly opened it to see Simon standing on the other side, motioning him into her room.

“You have a headache?” He asked.

“Nope, though, I don’t remember what happened after my first beer. I only had one, right?”

Negan chuckled quietly, holding a gaze with Simon before both men turned their attention to the woman.

“Why are you laughing?” Luna asked.

“You don’t remember anything?” Simon responded.

“Should I? Oh my god, don’t tell me we –”

Negan was quick to respond. “Whatever you think happened, don’t. We don’t fucking take advantage of women when they’re vulnerable in that state or any state for that matter. You just kind of, uh…”

“Uh?” Luna repeated.

“You stripped to your bra and panties and then proceeded to ask if we wanted to have some fun,” Simon finished.

Suddenly, Luna widened her eyes and her cheeks turned into a dark shade of red. Negan took notice of her deep blush and smiled to himself, gripping the end of his baseball bat. He couldn’t believe that just a few months ago, Luna wasn’t talking to him or anyone for that matter. Now, he knew everything about her.

“Oh god… That’s why I don’t drink anymore. I’m sorry.” Luna bit her lower lip, avoiding their gazes.

Negan chuckled, shaking his head. “I’m sure I’ve done worse things. It’s okay. Besides, I think Simon and I are glad that you were finally loosening up and having fun.”

“I agree. It was funny seeing you outsmart Negan,” Simon teased.

Luna glanced over at Negan and then blushed even further. She admitted that he was exactly her type, so she was sure that Negan was aware of her attraction towards him. Though, Luna knew he wouldn’t act on it and even if he did, she wouldn’t stoop down that low to succumb to her guilty pleasure.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s fucking go. I think Dwight and the rest are waiting for us.” Negan said, opening her door and holding it open. Luna nodded, stepping out of her room and following both men out to the courtyard.

She was surprised. She didn’t know there were this many Saviors willing to fight for Negan and the Sanctuary. It made her feel proud to be part of a community for once. Luna watched Negan and Simon motion to a truck and instantly, she followed.

“I don’t know how we all managed to fit in here,” Luna mumbled. She was squished between Negan and Simon while Dwight drove.

“Well, if you want to give us more room, you could always sit on my lap, doll,” Negan suggested, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Oh, uh…” Luna blushed once more, fidgeting with her hands on her lap. “That’s not necessary.”

“Relax, Luna. I’m only kidding.”

She tried to calm herself down. It had been so long since she was out past the Sanctuary that she almost missed being on her own. Though, when Luna spotted a few of the dead trying to stalk their way to the speeding trucks, she remembered why the world was the way it was.

After about an hour, the trucks stopped at the gates of an unknown area. Luna furrowed a brow, watching Negan step out of the car to knock on the gates with Lucille.

“Little pig, little pig! Let me in!”

Luna looked over at Simon. “Did he really just –”

“He did, yes.”

“I thought he was supposed to be menacing…” Luna responded.

Dwight chuckled at that, resting his arm on the steering wheel. Both Luna and Simon glanced over at him. He had been quiet the entire ride to Alexandria, so hearing him chuckle or even witnessing a glimpse of a smile on his lips made Luna feel accomplished.

“That was funny,” he said.

“Oh… Thanks…”

Simon arched a brow. “You remember what to do, Luna?”

She nodded. “Take what’s needed. Don’t kill unless I have to.”

“Perfect. Also, if you see something you like, don’t be afraid to take it. Half of their things are now ours.”

Luna tried to make it believable that she understood, but deep down, she knew it was wrong. When the gates opened and the leader of the other community stepped forward, Luna took notice at how tensed he looked. She had to wonder what Negan had done in order for this man to look this devastated by his visit.

“You’re early…” The other man said.

Negan grinned, propping Lucille onto his shoulder. “I missed ya.”

Luna didn’t know why Negan was trying to get a rise out of the other man. She stepped out of the truck with the other Saviors and stood behind Negan, her hand resting against her gun. She looked around the area and bit her lower lip – it reminded her of her neighborhood before the world ended.

“Don’t be so rude, Rick! Give me the grand fucking tour of this beautiful suburban area! I’m eager to see what goodies you’ve got hiding!” Negan grinned, walking alongside Rick.

Luna began to inspect the houses, noticing the fear in each of the strangers’ eyes. When she picked up a comic book from one of the homes, she caught sight of a young boy at the corner before scurrying away to be with her parents.

She knew it was risky, but Luna wanted to restore whatever humanity was left in this world. Luna took the comic book into her hands and walked towards the small family. They looked scared of what she may do.

“Is this yours?” Luna asked the little boy, kneeling down to be at eye level with him.

He nodded slowly. “Y – Yeah… It’s my only one, but you can have it.”

“Do you like Iron Man?”

The boy nodded once more. “He’s my favorite Superhero.”

“What? Me too,” she smiled, handing the boy the comic book. “Keep that safe, okay? We wouldn’t want Iron Man getting into the wrong hands, do we?”

“N – No… I’ll keep him safe.”

“I know you will.” Luna smiled, glancing up at the parents who seemed to have calmed down a bit once they realized she wasn’t a threat and certainly unlike the others who were terrorizing other families.

“I’m sorry…” She said, biting her lower as she glanced at the house across the way to see a few men tossing their mattresses out to the street.

The boy bit his lower lip and gently tugged on her pant leg. “Are you the bad guys?”

Luna felt her heart break. She didn’t know what to say. In this young boy’s eyes, the Saviors and Negan were the villains.

“Sometimes in the midst of bad guys, there are a few good ones,” Luna replied.

“If you want… I can read you this comic book before you have to go…” The boy suggested. Luna glanced up to see his parents with hesitation clear on their faces.

“You know what? If your parents say it’s okay, I’ll be glad to have you read to me.”

The boy instantly looked up at his parents and pleaded, jutting his lower lip out and accentuating the begging with his own set of puppy eyes. Luna giggled quietly. Despite the world coming to an end, there were still the living who would bring this world back to what it once was.

“All right, but you stay out here where I can see,” his father said.

The boy nodded, taking Luna’s hand to sit at the steps of the front porch.

“I’m Oliver, but my parents call me Ollie.”

Luna smiled. “Well, Ollie, I’m Luna.”

It was so unusual for her to open up to a stranger, despite it being a child. She was surprised that she hadn’t shut down and freaked out by the simple conversation, but she knew it was because this kid was reminding her of the previous world.

“Like the Moon?” He asked.

“Exactly like the Moon.”

“That’s cool.” He grinned.

Oliver then began to read the Iron Man comic book panel by panel, glancing up at Luna to make sure that she was listening. She knew that if Negan saw what she was doing, he would be angry, but at this point, she didn’t care. It didn’t matter. She was going to make sure that Oliver got a sense of a normal world, even if for a few hours.

“Do you think I can make my own suit and get out of here?” Oliver asked, shutting the comic book and setting it on his lap.

“I think you can do whatever you put your mind to, Oliver.”

“Why are you with the Saviors? You’re really nice and they’re – They aren’t.”

Luna furrowed a brow. “Why aren’t they nice?”

“They killed two of our people… My parents think I don’t hear what’s going on, but I’m smart for a nine-year-old.”

She cleared her throat. It was the first she had ever heard of this. She knew that Negan killed people, that the Saviors had done horrendous things, but Luna just assumed it was to keep the Sanctuary safe.

“You shouldn’t have to worry about that, you know…”

“I know,” Oliver sighed, looking up at Luna. “Do you have any kids?”

Luna sighed, shaking her head. “I’m afraid I never had the pleasure of having any of my own kids.”

“Why not?”

“It’s a bit complicated, Oliver.”

Oliver decided to drop the topic and instead, glanced back at his comic book before he ran back into his home. Before Luna could stand up and walk away, she heard Oliver run back outside. He handed her a piece of paper with a drawing of Iron Man.

“I drew it a while ago… You can keep it if you want.”

Luna smiled, kneeling down and placing the photo safely into her pocket. “Thank you, Oliver. I’m going to put it up on my wall so that way when I have guests over, they’re going to see the beautifully drawn picture.”

Oliver grinned, “Really?”

“Of course. I told you I loved Iron Man too.”

Oliver hugged her tightly. Luna was taken aback by the sudden gesture and allowed herself to return the hug. She sighed quietly and glanced up at her parents who were smiling to themselves. Though, she was pulled out of her thoughts when she heard Negan’s voice.

“What do we fucking have here, doll?”

Oliver looked over at Negan with fear in his eyes before running quickly to hide behind his parents. When Luna looked over at Oliver’s parents, the fear flashed through their features once more.

“I was just having a conversation…”

“With the enemy?”

Luna tightened her jaw. “I don’t think a child is an enemy, Negan.”

He stepped forward, taking her arm roughly. Luna retaliated by pushing his hand off with the heel of her own palm and stared up at him. Ever since the title of being a Savior, she noticed more and more of her old self showing through and she didn’t want that.

Her old self had died alongside her husband.

“We’re going to have a fucking talk later.”

Luna sighed, nodding. “Yes, sir.”

Rick was watching everything unfold, glancing at his people to make sure they were okay. Luna glanced over at Oliver and winked at him to reassure him that everything was okay. In his eyes, Negan was the bad guy.

“I already checked their house. They don’t have anything we would want,” Luna said, descending the stairs of their front porch to stand next to Negan.

He narrowed his eyes, motioning for Rick to continue walking.

“You’re staying with me for the remainder of this supply run, Luna.” Negan whispered.

Luna nodded, deciding to remain quiet. She followed both men around Alexandria, watching as the Saviors were tossing out items from the houses onto the pavement. She didn’t know what the purpose of this visit was, but if it was only to scare Rick, it sure was working.

Once at the front of the gates, watching as the Saviors began to load the supplies into the trucks, Luna remained a reasonable distance between Negan and herself. He was talking to Rick, obviously pushing him to his breaking point.

Suddenly, her eyes caught sight of a man charging at Negan with a knife in hand.

Without hesitation, Luna pulled her gun out from her holster, flicking the safety off and cocking the gun in the direction of this stranger.

“Put the knife down… Please.” Luna pleaded, causing Negan and Rick’s attention to turn to the man who had stopped walking.

“What are you going to do? Shoot me? You don’t have the balls or else you would have done it already!”

Rick stepped forward, “Put the knife down, Jerry.”

“Please, just drop it… Don’t make me do this, _please_.” Luna begged, her hands shaking.

“I have been here from the beginning with Deanna and her family! All of a sudden, Rick comes in and ruins it for all of us! Once I’m done with Negan, I’ll get you next, Rick!” The man argued. He charged forward, pulling his arm back before attempting to stab Negan with the knife.

Instantly, Luna pulled the trigger and watched as the man dropped to the pavement with the bullet straight through his forehead. The knife had fallen to the ground with a quiet _clank_ as she looked between the Saviors, the people of Alexandria, Rick, and Negan.

Luna stared at the lifeless body, watching as the blood began to pool around this man.

“Luna…” Negan said, grabbing his baseball bat from Rick’s grasp and walking towards her. She wasn’t listening. She was too focused on the dead man lying on the ground to pay attention to anyone else.

“Luna…” He repeated, gently touching her arm before she flinched away from him.

When Luna looked up at Negan, tears began to brim her eyes and the look of hatred passed through her features. Negan felt guilty. He should have done something before she pulled the trigger.

Negan sighed, glancing over at Rick who was staring at him with pure anger.

“Watch how you’re fucking looking at me, Rick! In fact, I think what my girl just did deserves a mother- _fucking_ thank you! So, let’s hear it.”

Rick tightened his jaw, staring down at the blood. “You killed one of our people…”

“I’m sorry, I don’t think that was a statement of fucking gratitude. Let’s try that again, shall we?”

“T – Thank you…” Rick mumbled, his eyes moving to Luna who looked like she was about to burst into tears. Negan noticed the shift in his gaze before snapping his fingers in front of Rick’s face to avert his attention elsewhere.

“You should fucking thank her. This coward was going to kill me then _you_. She did you a fucking favor.”

Rick didn’t respond, but he couldn’t help but wonder why Luna looked so sad and so upset. Though, he knew if he looked back at her, Negan would throw a fit.

“You have what you need. You may go now,” Rick said.

“Oh, Rick. Getting rid of me so soon?” Negan smirked.

The Saviors began to pile into the trucks and Luna remained where she was standing. She couldn’t take her eyes off of the blood, the bullet wound, and the man’s lifeless face. It was as if her feet were glued to the pavement.

“Luna, we gotta head back,” Simon whispered, gently resting a hand on her shoulder.

Luna, once again, flinched against his touch.

Hesitantly, Luna stepped forward between Rick and Negan. She looked up at the other man and finally felt the tears slowly streak down her cheeks. She wiped it away with the back of her hand. When she looked down at her hands, she noticed blood. It must have been when she shot the man that his blood splattered onto her.

“I – I’m sorry…” Luna told Rick. He furrowed a brow, looking over at Negan before his eyes dropped to her.

“You can go now,” Rick replied.

Luna nodded, glancing around Alexandria before her eyes settled on Oliver. She had now turned into the bad guy.

**\---**

Back at the Sanctuary, Luna walked straight to her room and locked the door. She rid herself of her clothes and tossed her gun aside before walking into her bathroom to scrub the blood and dirt from her body. Though, no matter how many times she cleaned herself, she still felt dirty. She still felt the blood of the man on her body.

She was broken out of her reverie when she heard two knocks at her door.

“This door better not be locked, Luna.”

It was Negan.

Slowly, Luna stood up from her bath and wrapped a towel around herself. She dried her body before pulling on an oversized t-shirt and shorts. She opened the door, her hair damp and her eyes puffy.

“We have to talk.” Negan said, stepping inside.

Luna sat at the middle of her bed, bringing her pillow to her chest as the drawing of Iron Man rested on her nightstand.

Negan sighed, watching her carefully before he sat at the armchair.

“You shouldn’t have done what you did earlier today and I’m sorry that I put you in that position,” Negan began.

“I’m not killing anymore. I don’t want to be a Savior any longer. Put me back into a room with three other women. Put me back on the point system.”

“Luna, listen to yourself right now. You did what you had to do –”

“I killed a man!” Luna yelled, surprising herself and Negan from how loud she was. Tears were pooling at her eyes and with one blink, they began to fall.

“I killed a man… You’re right. I shouldn’t have been the one to do that, but I did. I can’t take it back. His blood will forever be on my hands.”

“You were being loyal to me. You were _protecting_ me. You were doing your job,” Negan explained.

“I don’t want to do this anymore.” Luna stood up and handed him her gun. She let her fingertips graze her initials before turning around to lie back onto her bed. She quietly began to cry, not being able to hold in her emotions.

Negan felt his heart break at the sound of her pained cries. He didn’t know she would react this way and he certainly wasn’t expecting her to kill on her first day as a Savior.

“I’m not putting you back on the point system. I’m not going to put you back into a room to share with three other people, Luna.”

“I refuse to be a Savior, Negan. Please… Just leave me alone,” she hiccupped, wiping her eyes.

“You saved people’s lives today, Luna. Don’t fucking forget that.”

“Please leave, Negan.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things will pick up in the next chapter! I promise! :)

The following morning, Negan and Simon were overlooking the supplies that they had taken from Alexandria yesterday before both men realized that Luna was nowhere to be found.

“Have you talked to her?” Simon asked.

“Tried to yesterday when we got back. She shut down.” Negan let his fingertips run across the wood of his baseball bat. He couldn’t get the sounds of her pained cries out of his mind. Negan didn’t know why he cared so much. Since losing Lucille, he told himself that caring in this new world would end up getting him killed.

“Dwight said he didn’t see her at breakfast this morning,” Simon commented.

Negan tightened his jaw. “Huh. Let’s see if she’s getting lunch right now.”

He left the courtyard and entered the building of the Sanctuary. He walked towards the cafeteria and noticed a few unfamiliar faces, but he was scanning the room too quickly.

“She’s not here, Negan.”

“Well, go and grab her a fucking plate. We can pay her a visit.” Negan watched Simon grab a plate of food. He kept thinking of various situations that could have prevented Luna from pulling that trigger. It reminded him that he needed to have a talk with his Saviors. She wasn’t the only one in the crowd that could have shot the man, but she did it anyway.

On the way to her room, Negan kept his eyes forward and his mouth shut which was unusual for him. Simon, however, couldn’t help but wonder why Negan couldn’t just admit that he cared about Luna.

What happened yesterday in Alexandria would cause a rift between three friends and Negan didn’t know if he could handle the rejection. Deep down, he was afraid of what he was capable of saying if he became angry.

Knocking on her door, Negan waited for her to open it. Within a few seconds, Luna opened the door and left it open before she walked back to her bed. She was still in the same attire as last night: large t-shirt and shorts. On any other day, Negan would have made an inappropriate comment about her choice of clothes, but the look of her puffy eyes and sulking attitude prevented him from doing so.

“Luna… You missed breakfast,” Simon said, setting down a tray of food onto the nightstand.

Luna remained quiet, her back facing both men as she clutched a pillow to her chest. She hadn’t gotten any sleep. Every time she shut her eyes, the look of the man’s face haunted her. The blood that pooled around his body haunted her. The feel of her gun and the bullet escaping it haunted her.

“Luna…” Negan said, “You have to eat something, doll.”

After a few seconds, Luna sniffled. She couldn’t help but let the tears fall from her eyes again. She wished she was stronger. She wished she could make herself realize that what she did was simply an act of goodness.

“Luna… We’re sorry,” Simon said.

“Stop,” she mumbled. “Just stop.”

“You saved my life, Luna. Please, just fucking talk to us.” Negan said, his voice breaking in a way that only Luna would take notice. He carefully stepped around her bed, grabbing a chair and setting it next to her. When their eyes locked, Negan felt his heart break at the look of hatred and guilt in her eyes.

“You said you wouldn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to! You both said that! You both promised me!” Luna exclaimed, sitting up and backing herself against the headboard of her bed. “I – I killed a man because no one else did! Your other Saviors saw exactly what I saw and _I_ was the one to take that man down! _Me_!”

“Luna…” Negan said, biting his lower lip. His hand gripped his baseball bat, glancing over at Simon who looked just as lost and clueless as he was.

“No! I am done! I will be going back to work with Denise! That is it!”

“Luna, stop… Think about it for a second. There are other jobs that a Savior can do,” Simon said.

“I do not want to be a goddamn Savior. Do you both even see how your fellow Saviors treat the people who are in the point system? They use their authority to their advantage. I refuse to become that type of person that everyone here fears.”

“They already don’t fucking like you. What makes you think going back to Denise will make them suddenly change their mind, Luna?” Negan said.

She tightened her jaw, standing from her bed to look down at Negan. Once he stood up, Luna brought an open hand to connect with his cheek, slapping him hard enough that the initial hit echoed throughout her small room.

“You are a selfish a – asshole. Just like my husband. You only think about yourself, what benefits _you_ , what makes the world easier for _you_ that you forget there are other people who are alive as well! I would rather be disliked than be a leader who is the biggest coward known to man,” Luna said. The anger was clear in her voice and she didn’t know where she had the courage to insult the leader of the place she was living in.

Maybe she was asking for a death wish.

“Luna, that is enough!” Simon interrupted, gently pulling her back to distance her from Negan.

“No, that’s okay, Simon. She’s upset. We’ll give her time to calm down.” Negan tightened his jaw, turning on his heel to leave the room with Lucille propped on his shoulder.

Once the door shut and Simon was left alone with Luna, he looked down at her and noticed her shaking. She was crying again.

“What you said was uncalled for. He has been beating himself up for what you had to do and here you are, insulting him.”

“Please, just leave, Simon.” Luna hiccupped, climbing back into her bed.

“No. I’m going to sit here and we’re going to talk. You may be able to talk to Negan like that, but you are one lucky woman that it wasn’t out in public or else he would be forced to punish you,” Simon said, grabbing the chair Negan was previously sitting on and bringing it closer to Luna.

“I don’t want to talk,” Luna responded.

“Good, then you’ll be the one listening.”

Luna sighed, rubbing her eyes and wiping the dried tears from her face.

“We didn’t expect you to kill anyone yesterday, Luna. We didn’t plan it, so stop looking at us like we did. You killed that man because he was going to kill Negan, kill Rick. You saved both of their lives, so why in the hell are you crying?”

“Because _I_ was the one who pulled the trigger! It was my first day as a Savior and I – I killed someone…” Luna bit her lower lip, shaking the haunting thoughts from her mind. “I close my eyes and I see the guy’s face. I see his blood. I hear the gunshot.”

“You killed _one_ man to save two others. Do you not get that?”

“If you’re going to talk to me like my feelings and my emotions aren’t justified, then maybe you should leave, Simon. Do you really think I like feeling this way? Do you think I don’t wish I could just shrug it off and be proud of myself for killing that man?”

“That’s not what I’m saying, Luna.”

“It’s certainly what you’re trying to hint at, Simon. You’re Negan’s right hand man, right? Then where were you when that man held a knife in his hands? Where was the back up of his Saviors once they saw a man from Alexandria wielding a weapon?”

Simon sighed. He ran a hand over his face in frustration. Luna made a good point.

“If you can’t see what you did as an act of loyalty to your leader, then I don’t know how long you’ll last in this world, Luna. You killed someone because you _had_ to, not because you _wanted_ to. Those are two different things. I hope you realize that.” Simon responded, standing from the chair. He looked down at her, watching as her body turned to face her back towards him. He knew it was a lost cause trying to reason with her.

“You better eat that food too. Just because you’re upset doesn’t mean you should deprive yourself from eating,” he added. Simon glanced at her once more before walking out of her room with a quiet sigh.

**NEGAN’S POV**

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I had to leave her room quick. It wasn’t the fact that she slapped me that hurt, but her choice of words. Did she really think that low of me? I don’t know why I’m making such a big deal about it. I never cared about what others thought of me, but somehow with Luna, it was heartbreaking.

I never wanted her to look at me in a negative way. I never meant for her to kill that man either.

I needed to have a meeting with my Saviors. They needed to know what they signed up for.

“D, gather the Saviors out in the courtyard. We’ve got a fucking meeting.”

I absently hear Dwight’s voice from the walkie-talkie. Usually, I was more aware and cautious of my surroundings, but all I could focus on was Luna.

It took about an hour to gather the large group outside. I was never a patient man, but with my thoughts on a particular person, I didn’t mind waiting. Simon stood next to me and I knew he had something to tell me about Luna. It could wait. Right now, I had some business to tend to.

“So, you all know what happened yesterday, right?” I ask. They all nod in unison.

“Great! That saves me the fucking trouble of reminding you sorry fucks of what happened. Now, back to business. You are the Saviors, correct?”

Once more, they all nod.

“Then why the fuck did a new recruit catch a man who was going to kill me?! You were all there! You all witnessed what the fuck could have happened if that new recruit did not step in. So, I just want to ask… Where the fuck were my Saviors?”

I circle around a few men, swinging Lucille just a few inches from their faces. I watch as fear and terror flash through their eyes.

Good. Be fucking scared.

“I’m sorry. It’s too fucking quiet and I just asked a fucking question.”

I point to a random Savior, watching as the man stare at me with wide eyes. I wasn’t even sure if he was on the supply run to Alexandria yesterday, but I needed to make my point.

“Don’t make me fucking ask again.”

“I – I – I didn’t see him!” The man replies.

Huh. So he was there. Now I won’t have to feel bad for hurting him.

“You didn’t see him? Where the fuck were you then?”

“I – I was scavenging the homes! Besides, what better way to welcome the new recruit than yesterday? She saved your life, I heard!”

“I don’t give a fucking shit if she saved my life. What I’m trying to fucking say is that everyone should be on alert. That is why you become a Savior.”

I shove the man aside. I couldn’t do it. I wanted to hurt him so badly, but he didn’t give me a reason to. His excuse was valid. If he didn’t witness it firsthand, then I couldn’t blame him.

Fuck. Luna is making me turn into a fucking pussy.

“You see how she just froze up? She’s going to get us all killed if she does that again,” one man mumbles in the quiet crowd.

I pinpoint the man immediately and grab him by the scruff of his shirt. I toss him to the ground and watch as fear washes over his face.

“How about you share with the fucking class instead of whispering to another Savior?”

“I – She doesn’t deserve to be a Savior!” He replies.

“Oh yeah? She saved my life while you sorry fucks were off doing whatever the hell you were doing! If anything, she is a Savior more than all of you combined!”

“Negan, she spaced out after she killed that man! If we were out on a supply run and she ended up like that, we’d have no choice but to leave her! She’d get us all killed!”

That was it. That was my breaking point. I couldn’t handle it and I certainly couldn’t handle another man subtly threatening to kill Luna.

“Dwight, get the fucking iron ready.”

“N – no! I’m sorry!”

“Oh, you don’t want the iron? How about Lucille instead?”

“No! I’m sorry! I said I was fucking sorry!”

“I think _you_ would get us all killed if we were out on a supply run, so you know what… Lucille is fucking thirsty!”

Without hesitation, I take all my frustrations out on this man. I hear a crack after the second hit to his skull, following a few splatters of blood staining my white t-shirt and face.

When he was lying in a puddle of mush, I finally pull back to look down at Lucille. I grin, watching as the blood drips to the ground.

“You do your job as a fucking Savior or you will end up like this sorry fuck or chained to the gates like the rest of the fucking walkers. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, Negan,” they reply in unison.

I shoo them away, watching as the group of Saviors disperse back into the building. I pant heavily. It had been a while since I had to use Lucille and I knew she was itching for some action, but as I look down at the mess I made, my mind drifts to Luna.

I needed to talk to her.

“Simon?” I call, watching my right-hand man turn to face me.

“Yes?”

“Is – Is Luna okay?”

“I think you should talk to her.”

“Right. Okay. Clean up this mess. Thanks.”

**\---**

Later that night, Negan finished cleaning Lucille. He allowed the water to rinse the blood from between the barbed wire. He had forgotten to change his clothes or clean his face, but Lucille was always his first priority.

With a heavy sigh, he began walking to Luna’s room. He didn’t know what to say. He could only apologize so much before she acted on it. After a flight of stairs and a walk down the hall, he knocked on her door.

“Luna, it’s me. Open the door,” Negan said.

Slowly, the door opened. Luna sighed, looking up at Negan to see blood on his shirt and his face. “W – Why do you have blood on you?”

“Oh… Nothin’. Can I come in?”

She opened the door even further, motioning him inside. Negan sighed in relief and stepped into her room. At least Luna seemed to have calmed down since their last interaction.

“I’m sorry. I can’t say that enough, Luna.”

“Did Simon talk to you?”

“About what?”

“Nothing.”

Negan rubbed his eyes absently before watching her move to sit on the edge of her bed. Hesitantly, he decided to sit next to her. He opted to distance himself from her a bit, but he was still close enough that he could feel her body heat radiating against him.

“You opened up to me and told me I reminded you of your husband. You didn’t have to do that, but you did anyway.”

“Negan, what are –”

“Luna, just stop talking and listen.”

She sighed, nodding in his direction.

Negan took a deep breath. He had to tell her and despite his unspoken promise to himself about keeping his old life a secret, he needed to tell Luna.

“You remind me of my wife, Luna. H – Her name was Lucille…”

Luna looked up at him, her eyes dropping to the baseball bat in his hands. She bit her lower lip. She noticed how he tensed up at the mention of his old life, about Lucille. She had to wonder why he was telling her this, but she couldn’t find the courage to ask.

“She died just as this entire thing started. I never had time to grieve… One moment she was with me and the next, she turned into those fucking walkers. I couldn’t even kill her myself… So, you’re right. I am a fucking coward.”

“Negan…”

“She had cancer. And I was – I was a fucking asshole back then too. I cheated on her. I don’t know why, but I just did…”

Luna cleared her throat. She didn’t know what to say or do. She wanted nothing more than to comfort him, but she knew by doing that, she would be giving herself up to him. Luna didn’t want that.

“She was quiet, but she was a firecracker too, you know? She was smart. Smarter than me, that’s for fucking sure. She loved sunsets. Sunrises. I look at you and I think of her and I don’t fucking know why.”

“I – Is that why you’re so protective of me?” Luna asked hesitantly.

“I don’t fucking know, okay, Luna? I didn’t expect this. I didn’t expect you to be like this, to remind me of _her_.”

“I’m sorry that I do, Negan…”

He tightened his jaw. He didn’t know why he was telling her all of these things. Lucille was supposed to be kept secret, but now the truth was out. Negan felt vulnerable. He glanced over at Luna to see her staring down at her lap. Go figure. She had nothing to say to him.

“If you really want to quit as a Savior, then reconsider my fucking offer about being my wife, Luna. I can protect you that way. You won’t ever have to kill and you won’t ever have to deal with people like Denise.”

Luna shook her head. “I’m not going to become another wife. We may remind each other of a life we used to have, but that’s all it’ll ever be. If Lucille was alive right now, would you even have five other wives when you could have _her_?”

Negan sighed, “No woman would ever compare to her.”

“Exactly, so don’t put me in that position. Not again. We’ll never be together, Negan. Don’t you realize that? You’re you and I’m … I’m me.”

“W – What if we keep this private? Just between you and I?”

Luna stood up, walking to her door and slowly opening it for him. “My husband cheated on me and you want me to be the _mistress_ to your five wives? Are you kidding me? Get out, Negan.”

“Okay, that was out of line. I’m fucking sorry.”

“You come in here and tell me something that I’m sure no one in here knows and then ask me to be a wife? To be a mistress? What game are you trying to play, Negan?”

“Nothing! Fuck, doll. It’s the only way I can protect you, okay?!”

“I can protect myself.”

Negan stood up, looking down at her. “Yeah, I know you fucking can, but that’s not what I meant. You can protect yourself against other people, but you can’t protect yourself from your own emotions, from your own fucking thoughts, Luna.”

“And you think you can?”

“You underestimate my ability to keep a woman happy.”

“There’s no happiness in this new world, Negan.”

Luna kept the door open, waiting for him to leave her room. Once he stood on the other side, she looked up at him. Half of her wanted to slam the door in his face, but the other half wanted to pull him back into her room.

“I guess I can fucking agree with you there,” he admitted.

“Thank you for telling me about your old life, Negan. But you should have caught on. I don’t like sharing. Don’t ask me to be a wife again.”

Negan sighed, nodding to himself. “Fine.”

“And you will be putting me back on the point system.”

“Luna…”

“Negan, I can handle myself. Put me back on the point system.”

“Fuck, fine! But you’re staying in this room. You’ll still have the privileges of a Savior.”

“That defeats the purpose of being on the point system, Negan.”

“You either accept my rules or you remain as a Savior. Your fucking choice,” Negan said.

Luna sighed in defeat, “Okay.”

“And don’t let Denise walk all over you,” he advised.

“She doesn’t.”

“You may have thick skin, Luna, but even the toughest of people fucking break down some time.”

“Good night, Negan,” Luna replied.

“Get something to eat, okay?”

“I’m not hungry. Good night.” Slowly, Luna shut the door and sighed to herself.

She climbed back into her bed and pulled the covers over her bare legs. She didn’t know what just happened or what this meant for her friendship with Negan. Luna was still haunted by the man she killed, but now she was thinking about Negan and his wife, Lucille.

She should have never went out to the courtyard to shoot that gun. Luna should have kept her mouth shut about her old life, about her husband. She should have just ran when Negan and his men found her in that grocery store. She should have killed those two men who found her because at least then, she would have never met Negan.

Luna sighed, forcing herself to sleep despite the haunting thoughts. She needed to rest if she was going to be working with Denise in the morning.

Negan didn’t know if telling Luna about Lucille was the right thing for him to do, but he had no choice. He wanted her to know.

He had to wonder if this was life’s way of giving them both a second chance to make things right in their life. A second chance to have a good marriage, despite the world coming to an end.

Negan couldn’t think that way. He refused to commit to someone when life was not guaranteed anymore. Instead, he needed to release some anger. He hadn’t touched any of his wives since Luna arrived at the Sanctuary and that needed to change. Quick.

If Luna didn’t want to give him a chance, then Negan was going to stop trying.

It was time he became his old self again.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man. I cannot wait for you guys to read what's next! I hope you guys enjoyed this part! :) Also, I love some Negan and Simon interaction! Here's to hoping that happens soon on TWD show! 10 points to anyone who can guess who's going to be in the next chapter ;)

It had been a few days since Negan told Luna about his old life. If he was being honest, he was doing his best to avoid her. He used his resources (also known as Simon) to gather information about how she was doing now that she was working with Denise again, but other than that, Negan wanted to keep his distance.

He wasn’t used to rejection, but something about Luna turning him down not only hurt him, but also his dignity.

The day after their talk, Luna expected Negan to knock on her door to wake her up for a shift with Denise. Needless to say, she was slightly surprised to see Simon.

Luna kept thinking about Negan. She still wasn’t able to get any sleep from the haunting thoughts of the man she killed, but there had been a few times where her mind drifted to Negan. She had to wonder if this was life’s way of giving them both a chance to make things right in a relationship that they couldn’t fix before the apocalypse.

When Luna started working with Denise again, she was forced to bite her tongue many times at the insults that were thrown at her by Denise and her employees. If she could ignore it once, she could do it again.

“So, did Negan realize that you were a bad lay and decided to kick you out of being a Savior?” Denise laughed, watching Luna step into the commissary to continue her shift.

Luna remained quiet, her hands only turning into fists. She took a deep breath, forcing herself to calm down.

“I’m talking to you, Lily.”

“My name’s Luna. You’d think for a person who keeps picking on me, you’d get my name right,” she murmured.

Denise narrowed her eyes, grabbing a fistful of Luna’s hair and roughly tossing her to the ground. Luna felt tears sting her eyes at the immediate pain, looking up at Denise with teary eyes.

“I know what the fuck your name is. I can call you Lily. I can call you Lisa. Your name is whatever I fucking want it to be,” Denise spat, hoisting her up.

Luna slowly nodded, wiping her eyes before she felt Denise slap her across the face. She was sure that there was going to be a reddened spot there later.

“You answer me using your words,” she threatened.

“O – Okay, Denise…”

“That’s fucking better. Now get your ass back to work. You’re going to miss dinner.”

Luna nodded, turning on her heel to go to the back of the commissary to organize a few supplies. She ran a hand through her messy hair, trying to straighten it with her fingers. She didn’t know how long she could last working with Denise before she would break down.

At the end of Denise’s shift, a few of the employees followed her to where Luna was at. They surrounded her in a small circle as Luna looked around.

“W – What…?” She asked.

“We’re off for the day. The commissary is closed, but you can continue working. Once dinner is over, that’s when your shift ends. Oh, and no extra points either,” Denise laughed.

The rest of the group followed in with her laughter, looking down at Luna with hatred in their eyes.

Luna didn’t know what she did for these people to hate her, but she didn’t bother to ask why. Soon enough, karma would come to them. Luna just had to remain patient.

“Don’t go stealing anything either,” Denise grinned, shoving Luna to the ground.

“I – I won’t.”

Denise and the rest of her small group step over Luna, leaving her in the dark. Quietly, Luna brought her legs to her chest and cried into it. She couldn’t wait until she made it back to her room to break down. For now, this would have to do.

“Luna?” Simon called, stepping closer to her. When he noticed that she was crying, he hoisted her up onto her feet before gently cupping her cheek to look down at her. He noticed the redness at her cheek and the tears that had fallen.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

Luna nodded, leaning against his soothing gesture before she pulled away. She couldn’t get close to him again. She couldn’t get close to Negan either. It would just put a target on her back.

“Your shift is over. What the hell are you still doing here?”

“I – I wanted to make sure everything was organized for tomorrow.”

“You’re lying. Where’s Denise?” Simon asked.

“Simon, please… Just let me work.”

“Rules are rules, Luna. Your shift is over. Unless you want to get in trouble and accused of stealing, I suggest you leave this area now.”

Luna bit her lower lip. She didn’t know what order to follow.

“I’ll talk to Denise. Now, go and get dinner.”

She responded with a quick shake to her head before her arms wrapped around him tightly. Luna buried her face against his neck and cried into it. She wished it was Negan that she was holding, but for now, Simon would do.

“C – Can I just go back to your room?” She asked, hiccupping quietly.

Simon bit his lower lip, rubbing her back in an attempt to comfort her. “Sure, yeah. Come on.”

Luna leaned against him for support, sniffling quietly. The bond she formed with Negan and Simon allowed her to break down without having to worry about keeping up a façade. She had gotten close to both men that it was difficult for her to just go back to the way she was.

Simon held his door open for her, allowing her to step inside. He was sure that Negan would want to know what happened, so he made a mental note to tell him later tonight.

Luna instantly sat at the edge of his bed, removing her boots and bringing her legs close to her chest. She looked broken and unlike the woman he first laid eyes on. Simon wondered if it was because of Denise or if it was because of what happened in Alexandria.

Maybe it was just a culmination of events that she decided she couldn’t handle it anymore. Either way, Simon was glad that she decided to console in him.

“I denied Negan’s offer to be a wife again last week. I felt like I hurt him and that wasn’t my intention,” Luna mumbled, looking down at her socks.

“I wouldn’t dwell on it too much.”

“I’m scared, Simon. I’m scared because there’s a part of me that knows I could fall in love with him.”

Simon shrugged, sitting across from her at his own couch. “Feelings don’t just disappear because the world is like this, Luna. What’s stopping you from taking that risk with Negan?”

“He has five other wives, Simon. I don’t want to fight for his attention. I don’t want to have to take turns with five other women. I did that with my husband before all of this and I don’t want to do it again,” she admitted.

“Do you see the way Negan treats you? The way he talks to you? The way he _looks_ at you? He doesn’t admit it to me, but you’ve got him hooked, Luna. The way you talked to him a week ago… He wouldn’t have let it go if you were just anyone. He chose to walk away and for a man like Negan, that was tough all on its own,” he replied.

“I can’t compete with five other women, Simon.”

“No one is asking you to, Luna.”

She sighed, glancing up at him before shaking her head. “I wish you guys never found me.”

“Technically, you hit Dave so you had no choice,” Simon teased, smiling in her direction.

Luna let a small smile line her lips before it dropped almost immediately. After the progress he and Negan made with Luna, one situation made them start from square one all over again. They were back to the beginning.

“What do I do, Simon?”

“Talk to him. What else do you have to lose?”

She nodded, dropping her feet to the floor to put her boots on. “I guess you’re right. Is he up in his office?”

Simon nodded, “Probably. Here, take this. If he isn’t there, just call him through the walkie-talkie.” He handed Luna the walkie-talkie, watching as she set it at the waistband of her jeans.

“Thank you, Simon.”

“Also, don’t let Denise walk all over you. Someone’s gotta stand up to her,” he added.

“I’ll think about it.”

**\---**

Luna kept her strides slow and small. She didn’t know why she decided to take her time to go to Negan’s office. She kept thinking of things to say and how to say it, but with those thoughts came the nerves. She didn’t know what she would do if Negan rejected her, but deep down, Luna knew that he felt the same way.

Once she reached Negan’s floor, she took a deep breath and continued down the hallway.

Suddenly, she heard distant moans following loud grunts coming from what sounded like Negan. Luna felt her heart shatter at the sounds of pleasure. She looked down at her feet for a moment and wiped away a fallen tear. She was not going to cry.

Unlike her previous strides, Luna decided to run down the stairs until she made it to her room. Luna stepped inside with heavy breaths and grabbed her backpack from the armchair. She began packing a few changes of clothes and a few bottles of water.

Luna grabbed one of the books from the shelf and ripped a piece of paper from the back of it and began writing a note for Simon and Negan. She hoped they wouldn’t come looking for her. If Luna was good at anything aside from being a good shot, she was good at hiding too.

_Negan and Simon –_

_Don’t come looking for me._

_I tried. I tried to make a life here. I know I wasted your resources. I know I wasted both of your time. But I don’t belong here._

_I don’t belong anywhere._

_I’m better off alone._

_And **Negan** , I’m sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean it. I was just so angry and upset about what I did to that man that I wasn’t thinking straight. You’ve told me things that no one else knows and I took advantage of that. I pushed you down when you were at your lowest and I am so **sorry**. _

_Luna_

She set the note on her mattress, glancing around the room one last time before placing the walkie-talkie into her backpack. Zipping it up, Luna placed it on her back and left the room quietly.

Luna confidently walked to the front of the Sanctuary, glancing over at the Saviors. She wondered why they didn’t bother to ask where she was going. She noticed a glimmer of fear in their eyes before she motioned for the Savior to open the gate.

“Where are you going?” He asked.

“Scavenging. I told Simon I wanted to get a head start. I’ll be back by morning.”

“Oh, you’re Luna, aren’t you?”

She nodded.

“By all means, go ahead.” He opened the gate and Luna quietly walked past it. She took a deep breath and began walking away from the Sanctuary without another look behind her.

**\---**

Simon decided to talk to Negan, wondering if Luna managed to speak with him. With a quiet knock on the door, Simon heard Negan’s voice to come in.

“Ah, Simon. What’s up?”

“Did Luna come by to talk to you?”

Negan furrowed a brow. He wasn’t expecting her name to escape Simon’s lips.

“No. Why the fuck would she talk to me?”

“I guess I’ll have to be the damn middle man here. We need to talk, Negan.”

“Can we hurry it the fuck up then? I’ve got another session with Amber,” he smirked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“That must be why she didn’t come up here,” Simon mumbled.

“What?”

“She must have heard you two going at it, Negan.”

“Good. Then she’ll realize what she’s missing out on.”

Simon tightened his jaw and looked at his friend, at the leader of this place. “I’m going to be honest with you, so don’t get your panties in a bunch.”

“You and your damn sayings confuse the fuck out of me sometimes. Just get on with it, Simon.”

“I saw her on the floor at the commissary, Negan. She was crying. She hugged me. When does Luna ever show affection?” Simon asked.

Negan felt jealousy wash over him, but he tried to keep it at bay. He tried to not let it get to him. Luna wanted to be alone and he was going to give it to her.

“What are you trying to say, Simon?”

“She came up to my room and –”

“Now why the fuck would I want to hear about this?” Negan growled, tightening his jaw.

“Damn it, stop interrupting me and listen for one goddamn second, Negan.”

Negan sighed, raising a hand for him to continue.

“She’s scared. She’s scared that if she allows you any closer that she’ll fall in love with you, Negan. I think she’s already to that point.”

Negan instantly looked up at Simon, arching a brow. He wanted to ask where she was, but he knew he had an image to uphold, even in front of Simon.

“Well, what can I say? I’m a catch.”

“Are you really going to deny the way you feel, Negan? If so, then maybe I’ll have a chance with her. Hell, she can warm up to the idea,” he said. Simon wanted to get Negan all riled up and from the look on his leader’s face, Simon knew it was working.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Negan threatened.

“Then be a fucking man and own up to your feelings. She came up here to talk to you about it. She’s supposed to be here, not me. You two are supposed to be going at it right now, but you aren’t. You don’t need five women to be powerful, Negan,” Simon reasoned, sighing to himself.

Negan tightened his jaw and grabbed Lucille, walking out of the office with Simon following behind. “We’re going to hear it from her lips, okay, Simon?”

“What? You don’t believe me?”

“No, I fucking believe you, but I want her to tell me herself,” Negan said.

After descending two flights of stairs, Negan knocked quietly on Luna’s door. They waited about a minute or two before deciding to open the door. It was past curfew, so when they found her room to be empty, the only thought that ran through their minds would be the courtyard.

“I don’t think she’s out staring at the moon, Negan,” Simon mumbled, picking up the piece of paper that was left on the mattress. After he finished reading it, Simon sighed and sat at the edge of the bed.

Negan snatched it from the other man’s grasp, reading through it before he tightened his jaw. He was angry now. He crumpled the piece of paper and tossed it aside before looking over at Simon.

“Do you want me to gather a team?” Simon asked.

Negan shook his head, “No. Just you, me, and Dwight. Grab a car and fill it with some supplies. We’re bringing her back home.”

He left her room and descended the stairs to the courtyard. Negan had to know if anyone saw her leave. He noticed one of the Saviors watching the gates before motioning him over.

“Did you see Luna?” He asked.

“I – I did, yes. She left about two hours ago. She said she was going to go out scavenging, that Simon let her.”

“This late at fucking night? Are you a fucking idiot? Motherfucking _fuck_! Get the fuck out of my sight before Lucille fucking takes a hit at you!”

The man instantly ran away from Negan and into the building. Negan couldn’t believe that she walked right out. She didn’t have to sneak out. All she did was create some sort of white lie and bam. She was gone.

After fifteen minutes, Simon and Dwight pull up to the gate. Negan climbed into the car and glanced over at Dwight in the driver’s seat with Simon sitting in the back.

“Open the fucking gate!” Negan yelled, rolling his window back up once the gate opened.

“Where are we headed?” Dwight asked.

“I don’t fucking know. Just drive straight ahead. Maybe we’ll find her,” Negan replied, gripping Lucille.

They had been driving for about thirty minutes when Simon snapped his fingers. It was as if an imaginary light bulb appeared above his head.

“Negan, do you have your walkie?” Simon asked.

“Yes, of course I fucking do. Why? Do you have yours?”

“No. I gave it to Luna. Try and see if you can get a signal.”

“You’re a fucking genius, Simon. That’s why you’re my fucking right hand man,” Negan turned his walkie-talkie on and took a deep breath. He hoped that Luna could hear him.

“Luna? Can you fucking hear me? Luna?” Negan asked, releasing the button.

The trio heard a quiet static before her voice filtered the car. Negan breathed a sigh of relief.

She was still alive.

“Please don’t come looking for me,” Luna begged.

“Tough fucking luck, doll. Why’d you run out on me?” Negan replied.

“You were never supposed to find me that day. I don’t belong at the Sanctuary, okay? I’m fine on my own. I’m better off alone than in a group. Bad things tend to happen when I’m around other people.”

“Luna, I swear to fucking God, I will bring you back kicking and screaming. I don’t care what the fuck you think about not belonging anywhere. There will always be strength in numbers, Luna. If you’re out there alone, you’re going to get yourself killed,” Negan reasoned.

“Maybe it’s my time, then.”

“Don’t you fucking dare talk like that.”

“Negan, please,” Luna pleaded. Her voice was shaky, but she was smart in the sense to not give away where she was at.

“I’m going to fucking find you, Luna, and when I do, I expect you to tell me exactly what you told Simon tonight.”

“If you already know then why do I have to repeat myself?”

“Because I want to hear it from _you_.”

Luna sighed and shut her eyes. She was approaching a white house that looked abandoned. Maybe she could rest her head here for a few hours.

“I look at you, Negan, and I see myself falling in love again and I’m scared. Love doesn’t exist in this new world of ours. I just – I’m going to go. Good night.”

“Luna? Luna!” Negan sighed, letting the walkie-talkie rest on his lap. He didn’t know what he had to do to make things right, but he knew he had to find her. If she was willing to take the risk and admit her true feelings, then maybe he could do the same.

Maybe it was time Negan let someone into his life.

**\---**

Luna quietly walked to the front door of the house, gently tapping against it for any signs of walkers. However, what she wasn’t expecting was a short, grey-haired woman opening the door with a gun pointing directly at her.

“What do you want? Who are you?” She asked.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unfortunately, no Negan or Simon in this chapter! This part is going to be set completely in Luna’s POV and her interaction with Carol. Don’t worry. The next part will be all Negan (and Dwight, and Simon). Enjoy regardless! :)

Luna instantly turned to look at the other woman, raising her hands in the air as a sign of surrender. She should have been more cautious. She almost forgot that the dead weren’t the only threats in this world anymore.

“I – I’m sorry… If this is your place, I’ll be more than fine to be on my way. I don’t want to cause any trouble and –”

The woman interrupted her, keeping her gun pointing in Luna’s direction. Her blue eyes were blank and so was her expression. Luna knew that the other woman wouldn’t hesitate to pull the trigger.

In the back of her mind, though, she wondered if it truly was her time. Maybe she was ready to die.

“You didn’t answer the question,” the woman asked.

“I just – I wanted a place to rest my head and this is the only place I’ve found that was worth checking out… I’m Luna…”

“How can I trust you? Do you have a group? Are they around here?”

Luna sighed, shaking her head. She never really did have a group to begin with. Yes, she had stayed with the Saviors, but she didn’t feel like she belonged in that community.

“I don’t have a group, no… I’ve been on my own because I’m better off, okay? I’ll just leave. I won’t come back. I’m sorry,” she apologized, slowly walking away from the porch.

Luna knew it was going to get dark soon, but she didn’t want to impose on this woman. She would find another place for shelter for the night.

As she began walking, the woman sighed and called out, “Come in and keep it quiet.”

Luna bit her lower lip, turning around and walking back into the house. She looked around, taking note at how everything seemed so normal given the state of this new world they lived in. It reminded her of her grandparents’ home for some odd reason.

“Give me your weapon,” the woman demanded.

Luna nodded, handing over her gun without hesitation. She reached into her bag and grabbed a few cans of food carefully, setting it onto the table.

“Would you like some?” Luna asked carefully.

“No.” The woman said, taking the bag from Luna’s hand and rummaging through the items. She narrowed her eyes and set it back onto the table when she didn’t find any other hidden weapons.

“W – What’s your name? If you don’t mind me asking…” Luna mumbled, opening the can of peaches and using her plastic fork to eat with.

“I’m Carol.”

Luna then nodded. Her social anxiety was acting up. She didn’t know what else to say. She dropped her eyes, focusing on the food in front of her. She could feel Carol’s eyes staring questioningly in her direction.

“So, you’re named after the Moon, huh?” Carol asked.

Luna nodded slowly, clearing her throat. “Y – Yes…”

Carol expected her to continue the conversation, but was pleasantly surprised when Luna remained quiet.

“Are you always like this? This quiet and to yourself?”

Luna sighed. She was never going to learn how to break out of her shell.

“I just get really anxious and nervous when I meet new people…”

“Then I bet this world is scarier for you than it is for everyone else,” Carol responded. She stood up from the table and walked to the fireplace, adding some wood and starting a small fire to warm up the house.

Luna finished her can of peaches, setting it aside before she brought her legs up on the seat. She glanced over at Carol, watching her carefully. She wondered if she was alone, but from the looks of it, it would seem so. Besides, if she wasn’t, they would be here by now.

Luna bit her lower lip and admitted, “My dad always hit my mom. He would always tell me to never say a word or else it’d be me next or it’d be so bad that my mother wouldn’t even recognize herself… The confrontation alone scared me. It tainted my idea of talking to people.”

She didn’t know why she was telling a stranger information about her old life, but for some reason, Luna was slowly coming to terms that if she was going to die, then she would do it with a clean conscience.

Carol turned her head to look over at the younger woman. Something overcame her when she invited her inside. Maybe it was her eagerness to surrender without a fight or her shy nature, but as Luna continued to talk, Carol realized it was much more than that.

Luna, in a way, was similar to her daughter, Sophia.

She was quiet and shy, just like Sophia. Her childhood sounded very much like Sophia’s and there was a sense of longing that Carol didn’t know she could feel.

 “How old were you when that confrontation happened?”

“I was four. So, the only interaction I had were with my parents. I mean, I went to school and all of that, but no one likes to talk to the girl who keeps to herself,” Luna admitted.

Carol sighed, biting her lower lip. She couldn’t take her eyes off Luna. She was holding her legs close to her chest. She was scared just talking about it. Carol stood from the ground and decided to move to the chair next to Luna’s.

Hesitantly, Carol rested a hand over Luna’s forearm, looking at her with sympathetic eyes.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that… Were they alive when the breakout happened?”

Luna felt tears sting her eyes at the memory. She shut her eyes and slowly shook her head. She felt comforted by Carol’s touch. It had been a long time since someone was trying to comfort her. The last time she felt this way was with her own grandmother before the breakout.

“Um, no… They both died when I was eighteen. My graduation day actually. I looked like an idiot trying to look for them out in the crowd. Instead, I found two police officers waiting for me.”

Luna wiped the fallen tears, trying to prevent her from sobbing. She realized she never had the chance to talk about her parents’ death and her childhood with anyone. Her grandparents attempted to act like nothing happened, but Luna knew how hurt they were over her mother’s death.

“W – What happened?” Carol asked.

“They were on the way to my graduation and apparently, my dad intentionally crashed the car. The cops told my grandparents that my mother’s body was covered in bruises and – ”

Luna shook her head, shutting her eyes. She dropped her head to rest her forehead against her knees. Carol slowly leaned over to wrap her arms around Luna.

Luna slowly broke down, crying against the older woman. She didn’t know why she decided to keep this bottled in for so long. She was just glad that she told Carol and not someone like Negan.

_Ugh. Negan. I wonder if he’s really looking._

Slowly, Luna pulled away to wipe her tears. She tried to make herself presentable, hearing Carol laugh quietly.

“We all need some days to cry it out. Don’t worry,” she said.

Luna smiled, nodding.

“I’ll just get a few hours of sleep and then I’ll leave. Thank you again for letting me in, Carol,” Luna thanked.

“Stay for the night and leave in the morning, Luna.”

“Thank you, Carol…”

Luna followed Carol to the couch, allowing her to get comfortable. She set her bag down nearby before watching Carol leave the main living room. Luna shut her eyes, allowing the warmth of the fire and the security of four walls to lull her into a light slumber.

Carol walked into her room, sitting at the edge of her bed. Luna’s story sounded ironically similar to her own. If the world hadn’t ended, she was sure she would have been dead by now. Ed, her husband, was an abusive husband and there had been occurrences where he had beaten her to the point where she thought she was going to die.

Talking to Luna and hearing her story made her realize how lucky she was to still be alive. She wished Sophia was here, though because if someone like Luna could survive in this world, Carol believed Sophia could have had a chance too.

The following morning, Carol had woken at the sound of a walkie-talkie. When he heard a male voice, she took the walkie-talkie out of Luna’s bag to get a better listen.

“Doll, just come back to the Sanctuary. I’m sorry, okay?” The man said.

“Dwight, keep driving!”

“Negan, what do you think I’m doing right now?”

Suddenly, Carol dropped the walkie-talkie to the ground. She grabbed her gun and instantly cocked it in Luna’s direction. She was just played. She was part of the group that Rick and their people wanted to kill.

Luna slowly opened her eyes, widening them instantly when she found herself at the end of the gun once more.

“C – Carol… What?”

“You’re with the Saviors?” Carol asked, her expression blank once more.

“I – How do you know?”

Carol leaned down and grabbed the walkie-talkie, tossing it onto her lap. Luna sighed, sitting up and raising her hands once more.

“Carol, listen… I – I had to leave, okay? I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t be a Savior and kill people… I can’t kill anymore and I was – I ended up killing someone at another community,” Luna reasoned.

Carol tightened her jaw, her brows slightly narrowing into an expression of anger.

“What was the community called?” She asked.

“What?” Luna replied.

“The community! What community did you go to?!”

“A – Alexandria! We were doing a pick up… That’s all that I was told. The man – He was going to kill Negan and it was my job to stop that from happening. I told him – I asked him to drop his weapon, but he wouldn’t. I’m so sorry…” Luna bit her lower lip, shaking her head. She couldn’t get the image of the man lying lifelessly on the pavement.

“I didn’t want to do it. I shouldn’t have to have done it!” Luna added, her lower lip shaking.

“Who was it? Who was the man you killed, Luna?”

“I don’t know, okay? He said he was going to get Rick next… He said he had been at Alexandria since the beginning with someone named Deanna… Look, if you want to kill me, just go ahead and do it. I’m ready,” Luna shut her eyes, bracing herself for the gunshot.

Carol slowly lowered her weapon.

“Why did you leave the Saviors?”

“I didn’t want to kill anymore. Being a Savior means killing if you are put into situations like that… Negan knew my potential. He wanted me to be a Savior. I don’t want to kill anymore. I can’t…” Luna mumbled, rubbing her eyes absently.

Carol sighed, “Were you part of the harassment of the Hilltop?”

Luna raised her head, confusion clear in her eyes and her brows furrowed.

“What’s the Hilltop?”

“How are you a Savior and don’t know what Hilltop is?”

“I was new at the Sanctuary… No more than a month or two,” Luna admitted.

Carol nodded. “You have to go, Luna.”

She sighed, beginning to pack her things before leaving a few canned goods onto the coffee table for Carol.

“Thank you for letting me stay,” she said.

Carol noticed the canned food and sighed, taking it back to Luna. She set it in her bag and handed the walkie-talkie.

“Be careful out there, okay? If you ever need some place to stay, you can come back here just as long as no one is with you. I’m trusting you and it’s taking a lot for me to do that, but I trust you to not tell the Saviors about me or this place.”

Luna nodded, fastening the straps of her backpack. Carol handed her gun back to her hesitantly, watching Luna place it back into its holster.

“You didn’t have to take me in and you did… Thank you. And uh, thank you for last night. I didn’t know I needed to let all of that out.”

Carol sighed, “You don’t have to thank me for opening up. I was in the same position as your mother. I was just lucky that I was with a group of people who witnessed the abuse enough to step in.”

Luna hesitated before wrapping her arms around the older woman. She sighed, pulling back to look up at her. “If I ever come back… Would it be okay if it was just you and I living here? I can help out with anything and everything.”

Carol shook her head.

“Like you told me, I’m better off alone.”

Luna nodded, “I understand.”

Slowly, Luna stepped out onto the porch and glanced over at Carol. They shared a look before Carol shut the door.

She continued her journey, unaware of where she was exactly going, but the farther away she was from the Sanctuary, the better off she was.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Luna in this chapter! This is completely told in Negan’s POV which is completely different for me, but I will attempt it! Things will pick up, very slowly, so please stay tuned and keep reading! You know, only if you like hehe. Enjoy!

Fucking fuck. I couldn’t get through to Luna. She wasn’t answering. I was slowly losing patience. It also wasn’t fucking helping that I was in a damn car with Simon _and_ Dwight. It seemed almost comical that we were bunched into one car; it was as if we were all going on a damn road trip.

“What if –”

If Dwight wasn’t driving, I would have tossed him out of this car before he even decided to finish that sentence. He acts like that thought hadn’t crossed my mind, but it was the only option that I forced myself to not succumb to.

I didn’t want to believe or think that Luna was gone, _dead_. I didn’t want to let down another woman in my life.

“Shut up,” Simon said.

Phew. Thank you, Simon. If I hadn’t known better, I would have assumed that Simon had a little crush, but having my right-hand man care for a woman that I desperately wanted to make up with was a bit comforting.

“Hey, I’m just thinking logically here. We’re nearing noon and we’ve been driving since last night, Negan. What are the chances of us finding Luna?”

He really wanted his fucking ass kicked.

“And you’re going to tell me that if Sherry was out here, you wouldn’t go fucking looking for her? Would you let some other man tell you that we should give up, go back the fuck home and just let her go?”

Dwight didn’t say a word. He knew I was right. I always was, but his silence and the look of irritation flashed over his features which made it all the more exciting to rub it in his face.

I loved being right.

“Oh, Dwighty boy, you didn’t answer me. Cat got your tongue all of a fucking sudden?”

“I get it,” he replied.

“No, you see, I don’t think you fucking do. Luna is part of the Saviors. We _always_ make sure that our people are safe, right? That’s what I am trying to build here, D.”

“Then why do you act like you’re in love with her or something?”

That hit a nerve.

“Pull over. Pull the fuck over.”

Dwight glanced at me with slight regret in his eyes. Too fucking late. I was going to teach him damn lesson.

Once the car stopped and Dwight put it in park, I stepped out and walked around the car to the driver’s side. Flinging the door open, I pulled him out from the car and held him roughly by the lapels of the vest he fucking stole from Daryl.

“Do you _really_ want to fucking test me while we’re out looking for Luna, Dwight? And if I were you, I would be really fucking careful with my answer.”

“I – I,” he stuttered.

“You what? Huh, D? That’s your problem. Sometimes, you never know when to shut the fuck up. As of late, though, you were doing a wonderful job but I guess that streak has ended.”

“I’m sorry, Negan…”

His voice was shaky now. I grinned. I didn’t even have to lay a violent hand on him and he was already apologizing.

“Apology fucking accepted!” I released him from my grasp, watching as he straightened himself out.

“Simon, see if you can try and get a hold of Luna.”

Simon reached for the walkie-talkie and began talking into it. I was hoping that there would be an answer now that Simon was the one attempting to talk to her, but after a few minutes, all we heard was static.

“We better continue, Negan…” Dwight suggested.

“Good idea. Let’s go.”

We all packed into the car once more, driving down the empty roads. We had no idea where we were going. Being the leader, I was hoping that I would have some sort of control on this spontaneous trip, but I didn’t. I hated not knowing shit and Luna was showcasing my biggest weakness.

I was growing impatient. I knew where we going and how far we were getting from the Sanctuary, but I needed to know she was okay. I needed a fucking sign to tell me that she was still alive.

I had failed Lucille and I fucking failed Luna.

“Do we have any fucking idea where she may have gone?”

“Well, we found her at an abandoned store. I highly doubt that she’d go back there,” Simon replied.

“Well, I guess we’re just fucking following an empty road then.”

“So, Denise tells me that you two have taken a liking to Luna…” Dwight mumbled.

Simon arched a brow, “What are you trying to get at?”

“Nothing. I’m not into the gossip, so I didn’t believe her, but – Have you?”

“We’re out here fucking looking for her. What the fuck do you think?”

“Well, I guess what I’m trying to say is, why? Of all the women we pick up and save, why _her_?” Dwight asked.

Simon and I glanced at each other. We both didn’t have a legitimate answer to that. She just came into our lives and captured our attention in such a way that no one ever had since the world ended.

“For me, she reminds me of what was once pure in this world. It’s like a glimpse of the old world, I guess,” Simon responded.

I nodded in agreement. I knew if I started talking about her, I was going to admit shit that these two men didn’t need to hear. In their eyes, I was still this fearless leader, but deep down, I was scared shitless.

I had an image to uphold. I had a reputation to be this merciless leader and protector. I had this persona that just came out once the dead started walking the Earth.

But Luna…

She fucking shut that shit down and made me feel vulnerable. Like I could be myself again. And I needed to tell her that.

“What about you, Negan?” Dwight asked.

“Well, she’s fucking hot. What can I say? I wouldn’t let a woman like _her_ run away in this dangerous world. Are you fucking kidding me? Have you seen those eyes and pouty lips?”

Simon arched a brow. He must have known exactly what I was doing.

Dwight chuckled. Well, at least that earned a laugh from one of the two men I was traveling with.

“She _is_ cute,” he responded.

“Dwighty boy, I don’t think Sherry would like you complimenting other women, would she?”

Dwight cleared his throat. Maybe I went a little too fucking far.

“I don’t give a shit what Sherry thinks anymore.”

Well, fuck. The look on his face and the tone of his voice – He seemed like he didn’t care, but I knew that was simply to cover his ass. If he had shown any interest in his former wife, he knew the consequences. Hell, the damn burn was proof.

“Ice cold, Dwight. Ice fucking cold,” I grinned.

Changing the subject, Dwight suggested, “Maybe we should check Alexandria. Maybe she went back there.”

“And why the fuck would she fucking do that if she killed one of their people?”

Simon glanced between Dwight and I. The tensions were high and I knew that we were all getting irritated, showing no results or progress in finding Luna. I was expecting to find her within the few hours she left the Sanctuary; I was certainly not expecting to be out here for half of a day.

“Dwight makes a good point, Negan. Luna would probably want to apologize, even if that means she dies in the process of it,” Simon reasoned.

He was right. Fuck. He was fucking right.

“If she’s there, no one better have fucking touch her. Dwight, head to Alexandria.”

The ride to Alexandria was short. It had to be a quick visit. With only us three barging into a town filled with people who wanted their revenge, it wouldn’t end well if they decided to attack us.

Dwight stopped the truck just outside the gates and I climbed out, following Simon. I looked at Rosita and grinned. She still looked pissed as ever.

“Haven’t you caused us enough trouble?” She snarled, opening the gates.

“Usually I’m all for fun and games, doll, but we’ve got some fucking business to tend to and I’ve got to talk to your fucking _fearless_ leader. Now, where is Rick?”

Without allowing her to answer, Rick instantly approached us with narrowed eyes. He never did like my surprise visits.

“What are you doing here?” He asked.

Usually, I would be grinning from ear to ear, but not today. Not now.

“Where is she?”

“She? Who are you talking about? Rick replied.

“The fucking woman who killed the man who tried to kill you and I the other day.”

Rick narrowed his eyes. There goes that fucking stink eye again.

“I haven’t seen her. Why would she be here?”

If I wasn’t pissed off before, I was fucking livid now. We were wasting time. I shouldn’t have fucking listened to Dwight. We just wasted about two hours only to find out that she hadn’t come here to Alexandria.

I should have known better.

Simon and I should have known better.

“Dwight!” I yelled, looking over my shoulder.

We had to leave now. From the look on Rick’s face, I knew he was thinking the same thing.

“You know what, Rick. Never mind. We’ll leave you to be on your merry fucking way. We’ll be back in a couple of weeks for a supply pick up.”

I slowly walked back to the truck. I couldn’t make it seem like I was a bit afraid of what may happen, but as soon as I climbed into the truck with Simon and Dwight, I knew we would be okay.

“Fucking drive, Dwight.”

Once we were back out on the road, I grabbed the walkie-talkie and spoke into it.

“Luna, stop this shit, please. Fucking come home already.”

I waited. I waited. And I fucking waited.

All I was left with was fucking static. I would have tossed this damn walkie-talkie out of the damn window if it didn’t mean that this was my only source of communication with her.

“We could have all fucking died back there,” I told Dwight.

“But we didn’t,” he quipped.

I narrowed my eyes and instantly smacked the backside of his head. He grunted, rubbing it continuously as he kept his focus on the road.

“Yeah, we didn’t, but we wasted fucking gas and time. Those are resources, Dwight. Luna’s probably steps ahead of us.”

“She couldn’t get very far by foot, boss,” Simon said. He was trying to calm my nerves. It wasn’t working.

“She left almost fifteen hours ago, Simon! Did you forget what she fucking do before this world went to shit? She worked for the damn police department. Pretty sure she was fucking involved with the FBI too. If anyone can survive and get far in this new world, it would be _her_.”

Dwight whipped his head. He probably wasn’t expecting that and I probably would get shit when Luna finds out I fucking let that piece of information slip.

“She worked for the government?” Dwight asked.

“Why else do you think she’s got a good shot?” Simon replied.

“Fuck, enough talking. She left yesterday. We have to find her or I fucking swear, shit will fucking go down when we get back to the Sanctuary.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I have been slacking on this story, but fear not! I plan to catch up and spend more time developing this story. So, I hope you all enjoy this! :)

“Negan, we have to go back to the Sanctuary. We’re running out of gas and if we don’t leave tomorrow morning, it’ll be impossible for us to get back on foot,” Simon suggested. It had been an entire day since Luna left and Negan was running out of patience _and_ hope.

“Okay. We go back to the Sanctuary and then we leave. We’ll bring extra fuel,” Negan replied.

“Maybe we should let her go, Negan,” Dwight commented.

“I will burn the other side of your face if you do not shut the fuck up,” he replied harshly.

“Bringing her back will only make her hate you. She’ll realize soon enough that she’ll want to come back, but if we keep chasing after her, she won’t stop running,” Dwight continued.

He knew Dwight was right. Negan was still a leader of a community and it would be selfish of him to spend all of the resources and time to track one woman.

“And if you’re fucking wrong?”

Dwight sighed, “She has a walkie-talkie on her. It seems like she turns it on every other day.”

“You still have a Sanctuary to run, Negan. I’ll make sure to keep an eye out for her,” Simon added.

“Fuck, fine. Take us back home at the break of dawn,” Negan muttered. He kept a tight grip on the walkie-talkie, hoping for any sign that Luna was still alive.

After Luna left Carol’s house, she spent majority of her day and night scavenging a few old houses. She was inching towards another community that she was unaware of, but spotting an old bar at a small town, she figured it would be her home for now.

Once Luna made sure the bar was safe, she blocked the entrance and exits off with a few chairs and tables before sitting at one of the booths. Hesitantly, she picked up her walkie-talkie and pressed the button to speak.

“Still looking for me?” She asked.

Negan cleared his throat. He wasn’t expecting her to talk first.

“You’re going to give all three of us a fucking heart attack, Luna. Stop playing these games and come home,” Negan replied.

“Three?”

“I’ve got Simon and Dwight with me.”

Luna sighed, “I can’t – I’m not coming back, Negan.”

Negan tightened his jaw and motioned for Dwight to pull over at an abandoned house. He allowed Simon and Dwight to clear the area before walking inside.

“We’ll rest our heads here for the night and then leave early tomorrow morning,” Negan said, “Dwight, get first watch.”  

Dwight nodded before Negan ascended the stairs so that he was out of earshot of both men. He sat at the edge of the bed in one of the rooms and sighed. He wanted nothing more than to go back in time and prevent this from happening.

“Listen, Luna… I’m sorry, okay? If you don’t want to be a Savior, that’s fucking fine with me, but just come back _home_ …” Negan mumbled into the walkie-talkie.

Luna quickly responded, “I was going to talk to you after Simon talked some sense into me. You were too busy pleasuring your wives. It just reminded me that I didn’t want to be a part of that. I don’t want to have a leader who has a harem of wives because he somehow thinks that having more than one woman is a fucking damn good thing.”

“Okay, first… Don’t ever say that word again. You’re supposed to sound like a badass, but instead you sound like the opposite,” Negan teased.

“Good night, Negan.”

“No, wait, listen. I’m fucking sorry. I don’t know what you want me to say here, Luna…”

“I don’t know either, Negan. I am grateful for you and for Simon. The past few months have been nothing but great, but I’m better off alone. I can handle myself out here,” Luna said, settling herself into the small booth. It wasn’t comfortable, but it was shelter and she needed somewhere to stay for the night.

“I’m not saying that you’re incapable of taking care of yourself.”

“If you can forget me enough to screw your wives, then you can easily forget me if I’m not around,” Luna hesitated.

Negan cleared his throat. The silence that overcame the tiny room he was in was uncomfortable and he didn’t know what to say. Luna had a good point.

“I’ll get rid of them. If that’s what you fucking want me to do, then I will fucking do it, _Lucille_ ,” Negan exclaimed, unaware of the name that escaped his lips.

“Negan…” Luna replied, sighing quietly.

“Fuck! I’m fucking sorry!” Negan descended the stairs and tossed the walkie-talkie in Simon’s direction, not bothering to see if his right-hand man caught the device. He walked towards the window at the living room and sighed, staring out into the darkness.

“Luna?” Simon mumbled, watching Negan tighten his grip around the bat.

Simon walked away from the living room. Once he was away from Negan and Dwight, he sighed and sat down at the kitchen table.

“Luna, knock it off and come home.”

“Simon, I’m sorry…” she said.

“If you were sorry, you’d come back. He’s a mess, Luna.”

“What happened at Alexandria, Simon… It shouldn’t have been me. I shouldn’t have had to do that. I know, I get it. I was protecting Negan, but – You don’t understand.”

“Then help me understand, Luna!” Simon yelled.

“I went on a killing spree after I killed my husband. I killed every single person I encountered. What type of monster does that make me, Simon? I was in a downward slope. They begged – There were people that begged and I shot them straight through the eyes without any remorse. I didn’t want to go back to that!”

“What you did… You saved Negan. You even saved Rick. You can spout the no killing shit for as long as you want, but in this new world, it is bound to happen so don’t make it seem like we forced your hand. Not only is Negan the leader of the Sanctuary, but he is also my friend,” Simon responded.

“Good. Then, please, just go back to the Sanctuary. You guys are wasting your time looking for me.”

Simon tightened his jaw. “I’m tired of this. What you did… It’s not as bad as what others have dealt with, okay? You suck it up and you move on with your life.”

“I’m sorry that I ran away and I’m sorry that I think this way, but I can’t – I can’t do it anymore, Simon.”

“There will come a time where you’ll be forced to choose your life or someone else’s. I just hope you realize that your life is just as valuable and meaningful than you think it is. You saved Negan and he will forever be indebted to you. Just remember that you aren’t the only one with nightmares, Luna.”

She tightened her jaw. She should have never gotten close to either men.

“Good night, Simon.”

“Damn it, shit. Luna, wait –”

 _Static_. All Simon heard on the other end of the walkie-talkie was pure silence and static.


	14. Chapter 14

Negan, Dwight, and Simon finally made it back to the Sanctuary. Luckily, nothing too drastic happened over the course in which they were gone. Negan, however, tried to get his mind off of Luna with countless, meaningless sex with his wives. At the end of it, though, he couldn't stop thinking about Luna and if she was okay.

After a few days and with no sign of Luna or even any contact from her, Negan decided to go to her room. He walked inside slowly and sighed. He didn't know what he was doing here and he didn't know why he felt the need to come into her room.

He slowly sat at the edge of Luna's bed, clutching the letter she wrote the night she decided to leave the Sanctuary. Negan couldn't believe that he let Lucille's name slip. He couldn't believe that he had been so blinded by this potential relationship that he didn't realize he was channeling his old life.

Though, Negan knew he had to get his mind straight. He had to focus on running the Sanctuary. If Luna wanted to leave, it was time that Negan stopped chasing after her. He didn't want anyone staying in his community if they didn't want to be here in the first place.

Negan could always rely on Simon, including running the Sanctuary, but for now, he had to forget Luna in order for this community to thrive.

He couldn't restore the old world blinded by his feelings for a woman that was so quick to leave.

With a heavy sigh, Negan ripped the letter to shreds and tossed it in the small trashbin that was placed at the corner of Luna's room. He left her room and propped Lucille onto his shoulder.

It was time he averted back to the old Negan.

**\---**

After a couple of days, Simon ran into Negan's office. He had taken a liking to Luna, but not in a romantic sense. Deep down, Simon knew that Luna wouldn't be able to make it on her own. She may have the tools and experience to stay alive, but her mind and thoughts were going to get her killed.

Simon suspected that Luna would come back, but after a few days passed since they made it back to the Sanctuary, he knew hoping for her to come back was slowly diminishing.

He didn't bother to knock on Negan's office door and instantly, opened it. Simon cleared his throat at the sight. He saw Amber kneeling in front of Negan. Negan's pants were pooled at his ankles and he looked like he was _just_ about ready to reach his climax before Simon decided to interrupt.

"Simon! Fucking really?!" Negan exclaimed, pulling up his pants and helping Amber up carefully.

Simon tightened his jaw. He felt anger fuel his veins. Just a couple of days ago, Negan was hooked on Luna and now, he was back to his old self. He didn't know what was going on.

"Just wanted you to know that Luna is on the walkie-talkie right now. Save her the trouble. Spare her and tell her to stay away from here, and from _you_ ," Simon threatened.

Negan narrowed his eyes. He motioned for Amber to leave and waited until the door shit to stare down at Simon. Both men held an intense, anger-filled gaze at one another.

"You better be fucking joking, Simon."

Simon held the walkie-talkie in his hand, tightening it in his grip. Accidentally, he pressed the button for Luna to hear the conversation without his knowledge.

"I'm sure you can tell when I am, Negan."

"I'm sorry, but did you fucking forget who was in charge here?" Negan threatened, stepping up to the other man.

"No, I didn't forget, but you have this girl who was willing to step out of her comfort zone, willing to kill despite how badly she didn't want to, and here you are, back to your normal habits. She saved your life, Negan! Do you remember that?! **She** is the reason why you are here getting a fucking blowjob from Amber!"

Negan grabbed Lucille from the sofa, propping it onto his shoulder in a threatening manner. Simon, however, didn't bat an eye.

"I'd watch the way you're fucking talking to me."

"I don't care, Negan. You may be the one who is in charge, but do not tell me that you've lost _all_ your morals. Luna didn't want to be here in the first place, but she gave it a chance. Do you know how lucky we are, as a community, to have her? Rick could have gotten to her first. Gregory… Ezekiel… But they didn't! You pushed her away!" Simon yelled.

"You are pushing it, Simon! Do you really fucking think that I intended for this to happen?! **No** , I certainly did not!"

"Then what's stopping you? Why are you so out of touch with your emotions that you can't even tell the one woman who actually cares about you how you really feel?"

"You won't understand, Simon. Fuck! Just get the fuck out of my office," Negan sighed, gripping the end of the baseball tightly.

Suddenly, Simon tossed the walkie-talkie to Negan, shaking his head. "You're going to let go of the one good thing you've got going. And you know what, in a world like this? That's hard to come by."

Suddenly, Luna's voice came through the walkie-talkie and Simon knew that he had made a mistake.

"And here I was… Thinking of coming back," she whispered, her voice breaking.

"Luna… It's not –" Negan instantly replied.

"But it is, Negan. That conversation wasn't meant for me to hear, I get that, but it hurts and I can't take it back no matter how badly I want to. I was right when I said you could forget me just as easily when I'm gone."

"Luna…"

"Save it, Negan. Don't try and find me. Tell Simon to not look for me either because I know he has been leaving the Sanctuary a couple of hours every day. You won't find me, and I want to keep it that way," Luna added.

"Dammit, Luna! Just come home!" Negan yelled.

"Home? There's no such place for me," Luna responded.

"Luna? Fuck! Luna?!" Negan tightened his jaw and tossed the walkie-talkie to the sofa. He looked up at Simon, anger in the depths of his eyes.

"I'm not going to apologize," Simon mumbled.

"Oh? Then get the fuck out of my office."

"I don't know if I should be more angry at you, or at her, or at myself. There's no coming back from this, so you know what, Negan? Go back to what you know best."

"Will fucking do, Simon. Now, get the fuck out."


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wah! This has been a long time coming! I’m so sorry for not updating sooner. Though, stay tuned. We’ve got a few chapters left. Do you really think Negan let her go?

Negan was fuming. He was staring at Simon with anger clear in his eyes. He couldn’t believe that Luna had heard every single word of their conversation. He couldn’t believe that Simon was still standing in his damn office.

Oh, if looks could kill, Simon was sure dead.

“Negan…”

“What the fuck did you just do?!”

Simon didn’t respond. He waited, waited for Negan to take his hit, but when he didn’t, he watched Negan slump forward in his chair. It was then that Simon realized the wives were simply a distraction to get his mind off Luna. It was a poor choice on his part, but apparently it helped.

The Sanctuary was running smoothly since their return, but Simon knew that Negan was just as much pain as Luna was.

“I didn’t mean to hold down the button! I was just so angry, so livid!” Simon argued.

Negan sighed heavily. His hand gripped the walkie-talkie, his mind racing. He failed Lucille in his old life and here he was again, failing Luna.

Once an asshole, always an asshole, he thought.

“I don’t give a fucking shit if it wasn’t on purpose, Simon. She _heard_ and she’s never coming back.”

Simon shook his head. “She said she was going to… That must mean she’s close by, Negan. We can still get to her.”

Suddenly, Negan stood and tossed the walkie-talkie aside. He stood toe-to-toe with Simon, glaring directly into the other man’s eyes. He had never thought that Simon would be the one to make him _this_ angry. He wanted to strangle him, beat him with Lucille, iron his face – he wanted Simon to feel the pain he was currently feeling.

“No! We are not going after her! There is no fucking sense in bringing her back here when she doesn’t want to be here in the first place! I will not force her to stay here if she doesn’t want to, Simon.”

Simon narrowed his eyes. “So, that’s it? You’re just going to give up? Let her die out there? Fine. Go ahead, but I’m going back out there to look for her.”

“No, you’re fucking not,” Negan argued.

“I don’t care if you give me the iron, or if you end up killing me, but you and I both know that Luna will not be able to survive out there! She may have the damn skill, Negan, but we both know that she will be willing to put her life before anyone else’s!”

Negan curled his hands to fists. He knew everything Simon was saying was right, but he didn’t want to admit it. Admitting it would mean that he had fallen for Luna. He didn’t know how that was possible.

There had always been a lingering tension between the two of them, but neither acted on it. Negan even respected her and didn’t make passes at her like he usually did. Losing Lucille was painful, and losing Luna just reminded him of it.

“This – It’s all your fucking fault!” Negan yelled.

Simon tightened his jaw. “Mine?! That’s fucking rich! Put the blame on someone else when you’re the one who can’t fucking own up to your feelings!”

That was it. Negan pushed against Simon’s shoulders roughly, watching as the other man’s back hit the wall with a loud _thud_. He brought his fist to connect with Simon’s jaw, forcing himself to keep his tears at bay. He couldn’t show anyone that a woman managed to make him lose his cool like this, not even his right-hand man.

“Fuck you!” Negan yelled, finally pulling away after he exerted all of his energy. His fists were cut and bloody and his chest was heaving rapidly as he watched Simon wipe the blood from his nose with his shirt, staining it.

“I believe you already did that with five of your fucking wives.”

Negan snarled, grabbing Simon by the scruff of his neck. He opened the door and tossed him out roughly, pushing him once more against the wall. “Know you’re fucking place, Simon. Just because you and I both got close to Luna doesn’t give you the right to talk to me the way you just did.”

“You can’t stop me from looking for her, Negan. Deep down, you know you want me to. You know that you want her here, with _us_.”

“Us?” he laughed. “She isn’t even fucking into you, Simon!”

Simon sighed, looking down at his blood-stained shirt. “Why does everything have to be a goddamn competition to you? You may not like it, Negan, but you’re not only my boss, but also my friend. I’m not getting her back for _me_ , asshole. I’m getting her back for _you_.”

Negan was about to speak, but instead, shut his mouth. Simon shook his head and turned on his heel, walking away from him and descending the stairs.

Since Lucille’s death, Negan never allowed anyone in. The walls he built around himself was to protect him from getting hurt again. Not only did that entail relationships with women, but also people who could become his friends.

Walking into his office, he slammed the door and walked to his desk, plopping himself down onto his seat. To everyone that knew him, Negan was a fearless, merciless leader. Everyone feared him. He didn’t need everyone’s love to be validated for what he was doing here.

He lost Luna, and he was sure that he lost Simon. There was no way to come back from what just happened. Sure, Negan could put his hands on any other Savior, but Simon was the one person that he vowed to never lay a hand on.

Negan sighed, shutting his eyes and resting his elbows on his knees as he placed his head in his hands. He knew Simon was right. They needed to go after Luna, but he was done fighting for her. He didn’t know why he kept trying to be with her when she made it clear time and time again that it would never happen as long as he had his harem of wives.

Speaking of, Amber walked into the room quietly, her heels the only sound that registered in his mind. Negan looked up, taking note of her skimpy, lacy dress. Usually, a smirk would line his lips and he would motion for her to kneel as he undid his pants, but not today.

He didn’t want her. He wanted Luna.

“Amber…”

“You look like you need to de-stress,” she giggled, twirling her blonde hair around her finger as she walked closr to him.

“Yeah, and I fucking do. Now, what the hell do you want?” he asked, staring into her eyes, void of any emotion.

Amber’s façade faltered for a moment. There hadn’t been many times where Negan had a blank expression, and when he did, it usually didn’t end well.

“I just – I thought I could help,” she grinned, standing behind his chair and wrapping her arms around him from behind. Amber began peppering kisses along his neck, nipping lightly.

Negan shut his eyes, standing up and moving himself away from her quickly. All he could think about was Luna.

Luna. Luna. Fucking Luna.

“Amber, I need for you to leave.”

“Why?”

“Why? Really?” he asked. “Because I fucking said so. Now, go.”

Amber narrowed her eyes. “Is it because of that Luna girl? Did you forget that she called me names and –”

“I highly suggest you stop talking before you make a fool out of yourself, Amber.”

“She doesn’t want you! That’s why she left! You have me! Why do you need her?!” she yelled.

Negan didn’t have time for this. The problems just kept on piling up.

“Get the fuck out of my office. Right fucking now, Amber.”

She huffed, staring down at him threateningly. “Or what?”

“Or I’ll throw your ass out.”

“She’s probably dead out there anyway,” she glared, turning on her heel and leaving the office with a loud slam to the door.

Negan took a deep breath before swiping his hands across the stacks of papers that littered his desk. He watched as it fell to the floor, but it wasn’t enough to satisfy his anger.

Before he could do any damage, Dwight’s voice echoed throughout the room through the walkie-talkie.

“Simon left, boss. Said something about an important run. He didn’t take anyone with him.”

Negan tightened his jaw. He couldn’t give in anymore. The pain he was feeling needed to be hidden. He needed to rebuild the wall around himself.

With a deep breath, Negan walked to the walkie-talkie and picked it up. Pressing the button, he replied, “Well, I guess it’s an important fucking run then, Dwight. Now, don’t bother me for the rest of the night unless someone’s dying or the gates been plowed through.”

“But –”

“But nothing. Fuck. Let me know when Simon gets back. Good night, Dwight.”

Negan grabbed Lucille and left his office, walking across the hallway to his bedroom. He locked the door behind him and set the bat on the bed. He stared at the floor for a moment, his mind going in different areas that ranged from Luna to Simon to the Sanctuary and to Lucille.

He couldn’t take it.

And with that, Negan finally let himself go. Tears pricked at his eyes and he blinked rapidly, allowing a few to stream down his cheek.

“Damn it. Get it fucking together,” he mumbled, walking to the bathroom.

Negan needed to get his priorities straight. His main concern was to make sure that the Sanctuary was running smoothly, but he couldn’t do that if Luna occupied most of his thoughts. So, he decided if Simon was able to bring her back _alive_ and well, he was going to make things right.

Negan was going to make it up to her, and to Simon. He was tired of being alone.


	16. Chapter 16

Simon didn’t bother to tell Dwight what occurred. He didn’t trust him, just like Negan didn’t trust him. So, after he changed into a different shirt and cleaned the bloody mess that stained his face, Simon left the building. He had his gun and knife in tow in their respective holsters with a walkie-talkie hooked at the waistband of his pants.

He was determined to find Luna, even if that meant leaving at night.

“Dwight, open the gates.”

“Simon, are you ridiculous? It’s too late to go out tonight.”

“I don’t care. Open the gates.”

“What for?”

“An important supply run.”

“Bullshit.”

“Open. It.”

Dwight sighed, motioning for the guards to open the gate. “Negan’s going to kick your ass.”

“I don’t care.”

Once the gates opened, Simon began driving away from the Sanctuary. He had no idea where to look, and maybe it was a bad idea to leave at night because driving in the dark meant that he couldn’t turn on his headlights.

He didn’t want to attract the dead, so he carefully drove towards the empty road. He hoped that it wouldn’t take him long to find her because as more time passed, Simon had a lesser chance of finding her.

During the quiet drive, though, Simon had a lot to think about with his argument with Negan. Neither men had lost their cool with one another and Simon knew it was wrong for him to jump to conclusions, but he needed Negan to understand that it is okay for someone to care about another in this new world.

Negan wanted to restore their new life to what it once was, but he couldn’t do that if he didn’t accept his own feelings. Instead, Negan shrugged them off and thought nothing of it. Luna stepped into his life, and Simon’s, and showed both men that every day was never a guarantee.

They would constantly have to fight to live, but they still went to bed and woke up the next morning with the same routine. Simon had always woken up grateful to be in a secure building, not having to worry about potential threats at every corner.

His job as Negan’s right-hand man was tough, but it was better than being out in the woods without a guarantee that he was going to eat or have a place to sleep.

Simon kept his walkie-talkie nearby and decided to check if Luna would respond to him. He unclipped it from his pants and held it to his mouth, taking a deep breath and speaking into it.

“Luna? It’s Simon… Can you hear me? Over.”

He waited, and waited, and waited. Nothing. No response.

Simon decided to shut his mind off and focus on his intended mission. He just needed to find Luna.

He didn’t know how long it was before he heard her voice come through the walkie-talkie, but it relieved him to know that she was still alive.

“What?” she answered.

Simon quickly picked up the device, speaking into it once more. “Where are you?”

“Do you really think I’d tell you that?”

“Luna, please. This has gone far long enough. It isn’t about you killing that man anymore, is it? This has become about Negan. I’m beginning to think it always has been.”

There was a long pause.

“Why would it be about Negan?”

“He reminds you of your husband, but you know what I think? I think there’s a _big_ difference with both men. Your husband was an asshole who only cared about himself. Negan, well, he is an asshole, but deep down, he cares about others more than he lets on. Why else do you think he continues to run the Sanctuary, Luna?”

“You don’t know my husband, so don’t –”

“Yeah. Don’t talk about him like I know it all. You’re becoming defensive which leads me to believe that it’s true. You said you were afraid to fall in love with Negan, but what if you already have, Luna? Then what? Do you think running away would make that shit disappear?”

“Simon, please stop.”

“Why? Because I’m right?”

“No, because you have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about!”

Simon grinned to himself. “Whoa. Did Negan’s beautiful Moon just curse?”

“Fuck you.”

“You’ve got a mean streak going on, don’t you, Luna?”

“You don’t know anything about me or about my husband. Neither does Negan.”

“Ex-husband.”

“No. We were married up until his death.”

“And that’s where you made a mistake. Why stay with a man who obviously didn’t love you anymore? Hoping to rekindle the flame that was once there?”

“Simon…”

“No, Luna, because Negan cares about you, okay? He doesn’t want you found because he knows that you don’t want to go back to the Sanctuary. He is putting your goddamn happiness before his own!”

Suddenly, Negan’s voice was the one that echoed throughout the small care.

“Enough. Fucking enough. Please.”

“Negan?” Simon asked.

“I am trying to get some fucking sleep and all I hear are you two bickering. I don’t know why the fuck I even went on this channel to begin with.”

Luna remained quiet. She shut her eyes at the sound of his voice, crying quietly into the sleeve of her jacket. She was in an abandoned house that no one could see from the main roads. For now, she was safe from Simon finding her.

“Then turn it off,” Simon replied.

“No because I’ve got some shit to say. To the both of you. Luna, you there?”

Again, another pause.

“Luna…” Simon pleaded.

She took a deep breath and spoke into it. “H – Hi…”

Negan felt his heart skip a beat at her voice. He didn’t realize just how much he missed her. “Hey, doll…”

Simon cleared his throat, deciding to continue driving as he allowed the two of them to talk. He felt like he was eavesdropping in their conversation, but he also wanted to hear it. He wanted Negan to finally admit his true feelings.

“I can’t apologize enough, Luna. Not only for what you fucking heard, but for what you had to do back at Alexandria. I – I try to rack up my brain and think of different scenarios as to how that could have gone down, but there’s really no point, is there? What’s done is fucking done.

“But I _am_ sorry. I never meant to put you in that position. You trusted Simon and I… Trust is the one goddamn thing that makes a relationship – friendship work.” Negan said quietly. He knew Simon was listening.

“I failed you, Luna. I don’t deserve you. Fuck, I know I don’t even deserve Simon’s friendship. If you truly do not want to come back, Luna, then I’ll let you go… Keeping you happy is more important to me than you’ll ever know and if that means letting you go, then fuck, I’ll do it.”

Luna continued to cry. She bit down on her lower lip and tried to register just exactly what Negan was saying. He was going to let her go if it meant that she was happy. Simon was right.

“I can’t go back,” she whispered into the walkie-talkie. “I just can’t…”

Negan felt his heart break. He wanted to convince her, make her realize that he was willing to do anything for her if it meant she would come back, but he couldn’t.

“All right then, Luna. I wish you the best of luck out there. Good night. Simon, get back to the fucking Sanctuary.”

There was an uncomfortable silence after Negan and Luna’s conversation ended. Simon had pulled to the side of the road and decided to camp there until morning. He hesitantly grabbed the walkie-talkie and spoke into it.

“Luna?”

“Y – Yes?”

“You’re crying… Why?” he asked.

“No reason. You should head back, Simon. Thank you. For everything.”

“Hey, now wait a goddamn second.”

Simon waited for a response, but didn’t get any.

“Luna?”

Nothing.

“Luna?”

Silence.

Simon sighed and tossed the walkie-talkie to the passenger seat, staring at the steering wheel with a heavy glare. It was time to play matchmaker.

The following morning, Simon hadn’t gotten any sleep except for a few naps that lasted no longer than thirty minutes. With the sun rising, the light was now to his advantage. He decided to step out of the car and take a look around the woods – maybe Luna was hiding somewhere around here.

He removed the keys from the ignition and pocketed it into his pants, grabbing his knife just in case of any potential threats. Simon began walking through the woods, the sounds of leaves crunching underneath his boots echoed through the silence that filled the air.

Simon had left the walkie-talkie in the car and he was sure that Negan was trying to reach him, but right now, he couldn’t think of the consequences. He needed to find Luna and convince her to come back with him.

He carved in an ‘S’ at passing trees as a reminder of where to go if he were to get too deep into the woods. Simon hadn’t always been an outdoorsy type of man, so he would utilize his surroundings as his guide to get back to the car if need be.

 Simon felt like he had been walking for hours. The sun had risen to the sky, beating down on his skin causing sweat to adhere to his clothes. He wiped the sweat off his brow, hoping for any sign that Luna was near.

Suddenly, he caught sight of her. There were three walkers surrounding her and she looked to be frozen. Luna wasn’t moving, but her hands were gripping the knife in her hand. Simon contemplated on calling her name, but decided against it.

They were inching closer and closer to her and still, there was no movement from Luna. Simon brought his gun to eye level, ready to pull the trigger, but instead, Luna decided to take matters into her own hands. She quickly dodged one of the biter’s reaching arm, grabbing it tightly and using her free hand to penetrate her knife into its skull.

With one down, the two were advancing onto her. Luna didn’t miss a beat. She lunged at one, quickly putting it down. As the lone biter dragged its feet towards her, chattering teeth itching to bite down onto her skin, Luna delivered a sharp kick to its chest. The walker stumbled back onto the grass and Luna placed her knife in its respective holster before grabbing a nearby rock.

She brought it down repeatedly onto the dead’s skull, blood and guts spraying onto her face and staining her clothes. Simon watched as she continued to bring the rock down onto the mush; there was no use in exerting energy when there was nothing left of it.

“L – Luna…” Simon mumbled, approaching her carefully.

Luna didn’t respond. Instead, she dropped the rock to the side and breathed heavily, her hands continuing to shake. Simon hadn’t known what Luna was capable of until today. They had completely underestimated her.

“Luna,” he called out again.

No response. It was as if she was a walking limbo, defending herself from threats that would cost her life.

Reluctantly, Simon gently touched her shoulder in hopes that physical contact would catch her attention. Instead, she flinched away from him and looked in his direction with wide eyes. She hadn’t expected him to find her at all, but seeing him was a relief.

“Luna… It’s just me.”

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, looking now at the officially dead corpses. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“Hey, listen to me…” Simon gently picked her up, staring down at her. She looked broken, lost, but that didn’t mean that she couldn’t handle herself. “We’ve gotta get you home.”

Suddenly, Luna pushed him away roughly. He immediately stumbled back, catching himself on a nearby tree. When she pulled her gun from her holster and flicked the safety off, Simon instantly put his hands up in defense.

“Get away from me,” she said.

“Luna, put the gun down.”

“No.”

Simon took a step forward, tears clouding Luna’s eyes. “You’re not going to kill me, Luna. Now, put it _down_.”

“No!”

He lunged at her, trying to grab the gun from her grasp. When he did, Luna tried to put up a fight. Simon hadn’t been on the receiving end of her combat skills, but damn, she sure was skillful at it.

“Luna, knock it off!” he yelled before a fist connected with his jaw. Damn, she had a strong punch.

Suddenly, the sound of a gunshot echoed throughout the woods. Simon scrambled away, looking down at himself. It wasn’t him. Thank god, it wasn’t him.

Then, it dawned on him.

 _Luna_.

Simon noticed the blood rapidly appearing at her lower abdomen, staining her shirt. She was trying to speak, but blood was slowly leaking past her lips. Without a thought, Simon removed his shirt and wrapped it around her wound as a tourniquet, trying to stop the bleeding.

“Oh god, Luna… Fuck, I’m so sorry…” he repeated, tears stinging his eyes.

“I – I never meant to cause trouble…”

“Shut up. Shut up. Don’t talk like you’re going to fucking die, okay?! I’m going to bring you back to the Sanctuary. Dr. Carson will patch you up and after that, you’ll be staying with me. We don’t have to tell Negan, not until you’re comfortable with it.”

Without allowing her to respond, Simon hoisted her into his arms and began running back to where he left the car. He followed the marks that he placed upon the branches of the trees and within ten minutes, he breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of the car.

Simon quickly opened the passenger door and set her inside. Once he was sure that she was safely inside, he shut the door and ran to the driver’s side, climbing in and starting the car.

Quickly, Simon sped in the direction of the Sanctuary, hoping that it wasn’t too late.

He glanced over at Luna, noticing that her eyes had fallen shut and the heaving of her chest had begun to slow.

“Goddammit, Luna! Don’t you dare die on me!”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are coming close to the end, guys! Thank you so much for reading and keeping up to date with this story!!! :-D

The drive to the Sanctuary seemed to last longer than what Simon was used to. When he approached the gates, he was relieved to find that Dwight wasn’t on duty. He quickly parked the car in the garage that held the rest of the trucks and stumbled out with Luna in his arms.

He was sure that word would get around that Simon was carrying a dead girl through the hallways of the Sanctuary, but that was the least of his worries. Luna’s breathing had slowed down substantially and her natural skin color had begun to pale.

He kicked the door to the infirmary and set her down on one of the beds, motioning for Dr. Carson to get to work.

“S – Simon…”

“She’s shot! Fix her!”

Dr. Carson nodded, quickly washing his hands to sterilize it. He was motioning for Simon to leave, but the other man couldn’t take his eyes off Luna. This was _his_ fault. He had shot her.

“Simon, I need for you to go. I will call you when I’m finished.”

“Negan hears _nothing_ about this, are we clear?”

Dr. Carson hesitated for a moment, then nodded. “Okay…”

“Make her okay, doc.” Simon left the infirmary, quickly running to his room. He needed to change before Negan found him.

Upon entering his room, he noticed Negan waiting for him at one of the sofas. He was holding Lucille against his lap and the look on his face when he noticed the blood on Simon’s shirt made his heart ache.

It better not be Luna’s, he thought to himself.

“I thought I made myself very fucking clear that I wanted you back at the Sanctuary by morning,” Negan said.

“Well, I’m here now. It’s fine. Came across some trouble along the way.” he lied, removing his shirt and grabbing another.

Negan noticed the way Simon’s eyes lingered on the blood. He was lying and Negan knew. He stood up and swung Lucille onto his shoulder, staring directly at Simon. “Want to tell me why you were running to the infirmary with a fucking dead girl in your arms?”

“She’s not dead.”

“Well then, who is she?” Negan asked.

“I think you and I both know the answer to that, Negan.”

Negan’s façade dropped immediately. “L – Luna? What the fuck happened?!” He was reaching for the door, but Simon shook his head and slammed it shut.

“Don’t. Do not go and see her.”

“Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to, Simon?”

“If she wakes up and you’re the first person she sees, she’s going to want to leave. Please, Negan. I’m doing this for the both of you. She’s _here_ now and that’s what matters. I’ll keep an eye on her, keep her here in my room until _she_ is comfortable enough to talk to you again,” Simon reasoned.

“Why will she be staying in your fucking room?”

“Are we seriously going to go through this again”

Negan tightened his jaw, dropping his eyes to the ground. “Fuck, okay. I’m sorry.”

Simon sighed, pulling on his shirt and clasping Negan’s shoulder tightly. “You’re an asshole, but I know you mean well.”

“Is she – When you brought her here, was she okay?”

Simon bit the inside of his cheek. He needed to tell the truth. “I – I shot her. She was pointing her gun at me, so I lunged for her. She wouldn’t stop fighting me and then…”

Negan exhaled sharply. He stared at Simon, his grip around Lucille tightening.

“Fucking fuck!” he exclaimed, shaking his head. “How the fuck am I supposed to keep my distance when I know that she’s here?”

“I don’t know, but you have to let her come to you on her own terms. I’m going to check up on her right now. I will keep you updated, but that’s it.”

Negan didn’t know what to do. Now that Luna was here again, he wanted to apologize and make it up to her. But, Simon was right. He had to act like he had no idea what was going on. For now, he would have to remain patient.

“Fine. Meet me in my office tonight. You’ll give me a rundown of her condition then.”

Simon nodded, quickly leaving his room to head back to the infirmary. He was still feeling guilty over what happened, but he just hoped that they had gotten here in time for Dr. Carson to treat her without any trouble.

Approaching the infirmary, he watched the door open to see Dr. Carson leave the room quietly. Simon instantly walked towards him, looking down at the man with hopeful eyes. “Is she…”

“She’s fine. The bullet went straight through her, missing any vital organs. Without your quick thinking of the belt, she could have lost more blood. She’s sleeping right now and she’s going to need the rest,” Dr. Carson said.

“That’s fine. And medicine?”

“I’ll be giving her antibiotics and some pain killers. Will she be using her points?”

“Put it on mine. Thank you.”

Dr. Carson nodded, handing him the prescription before allowing him inside. Simon shut the door behind him and cleared his throat, sitting at the chair near her bed. He set the bottles of prescription onto the small table nearby and reached for her hand.

“Fuck, I am so sorry, Luna…”

He knew she wasn’t going to respond, but the fact that her chest was heaving up and down relieved him. Just a few hours ago, it had come close to a stop and now she was fine, or rather, as fine as she could be at the moment.

Simon decided to wait by her side. The guilt would never disappear, but he was going to do everything in his power to make up for it.

He grabbed his walkie-talkie and asked one of the Saviors to give them a tray of food for tonight’s dinner. Simon hoped that she would be awake by then.

**\---**

Later that night, Simon opened the door to see the young man with a tray of food. He nodded his thanks and shut the door, the aroma of fresh food filtering the room. Slowly, he turned around and noticed movement from Luna.

She brought a hand to her eyes and gently rubbed the sleep from it, obviously unaware of where she was at.

“S – Simon?” she asked, glancing in his direction.

“Hey…”

“What am I doing here?”

“You don’t remember?” he asked.

“Thought it was some dream…” she looked down at herself, lifting the blanket to reveal the bandage along her abdomen. As she shifted, she could feel the stiffness that the stitches made.

“I’m so sorry,” Simon said, setting the tray of food down.

“It’s not your fault.”

“It is… I pulled the trigger.”

“It was an accident, Simon. It’s okay, all right?”

Simon shook his head, deciding to drop the conversation. Nothing she would say would ever validate his actions. “Come on. You need to eat so you can take your medicine. So, eat up.”

Luna nodded, propping herself up onto the bed with his help. Before he could turn away, Luna rested a hand on his forearm and gently rubbed her thumb absently along his skin reassuringly.

“I’m okay…” she whispered.

“You almost died because of me.”

“I was going to shoot you… You tried to stop me. Self-defense.”

Simon sighed, “Luna…”

“No, Simon. I don’t blame you, okay?”

He nodded, but it didn’t register. He didn’t want to believe what she was saying. Instead, Simon helped her eat, watching as she winced with every little movement.

“Does Negan know I’m here?” she asked quietly.

“No.” he lied. “And we are going to keep it that way until you are comfortable enough to talk to him.”

“He’s going to hurt you if he knows that you’re keeping me a secret.”

“Then I guess he’s going to hurt me. You’re here now, Luna. You’re going to stay in my room until you’re ready to talk to Negan.”

“What about points?”

“I’m a Savior. We don’t necessarily need it. You’ll be okay,” he said.

Luna sighed, shaking her head at the food. “I’m full.”

“Just finish what’s left. It’s not much,” Simon reasoned.

Luna didn’t respond, but followed his order regardless. After three more bites, she finished her plate of food then took the prescribed medication. She bit her lower lip, lying back on the bed and slowly faced away from Simon.

“Do you want to talk about –”

“What you said about my _ex_ -husband and I… You were right. I was dumb enough to stay with him after I found about his affairs. I guess me leaving the Sanctuary, leaving Negan, sort of made up for that in my mind,” she admitted.

“What do you mean?”

“I didn’t want to make the same mistake of staying when I shouldn’t have.”

Simon sighed, bringing the chair to where she was facing. He sat down and looked at her, tears stinging her beautiful orbs.

“You love Negan, don’t you?”

“I don’t know why and I don’t know how, but deep down, sure, yeah. I look at him and I just – There’s something there. There always has been.”

Simon nodded. He didn’t want to talk for Negan, so he decided to remain quiet and let Luna vent. It was nice to finally hear what was on her mind. She never was one to talk much, but he felt special enough that she was willing to share to him about what she was feeling.

“But I know I can’t be with him. He’s got five wives and he runs this entire place.”

“Why not?” he asked.

“I can’t just be another woman to some man. Not again.”

“What about him running the Sanctuary?”

Luna sighed, “Negan’s made some enemies, that I’m sure of. I can’t grow attached to someone when there many others who are plotting different ways to take him down.”

Simon gently reached for her hand. She flinched, but relaxed slowly.

“We don’t have all the time in the world anymore, Luna. I’m beginning to think we never did. If you do love Negan, or if you have some sort of feeling for him, then go for it. What is there to lose?”

“My heart,” she whispered.

“You can’t keep running scared forever… Sometimes, you’ve got to step out of that comfort zone of yours and accept what you’re feeling.”

Luna nodded, shutting her eyes for a moment. “I’m going to get some rest…”

Simon sighed. “Okay. I’ll be here in the morning. You have the walkie-talkie just in case you need anything.”

“Thank you.” Luna turned to lie on her back and kept the walkie-talkie in her hand, forcing herself to sleep.

Simon watched her for a few more moments before deciding to leave. He shut the door behind him and walked to Negan’s office.

With a quiet knock, the door opened immediately. Negan looked stressed out. His leather jacket was against his chair and his usually slicked back hair was now a disheveled mess.

“Damn, Negan. Did you eat yet?” Simon asked.

“Must have slipped my mind, I guess. Is she okay?”

“Yeah, she’s fine. Dr. Carson said the bullet went straight through her and missed any important organs.”

Negan sighed in relief, sitting at his desk and pouring himself another drink. “Did she – Did she mention me?”

“Yeah, but I’m not going to tell you what she said. You’ll find out in due time, Negan.” he sighed, asking Dwight over the walkie-talkie to send two trays of food to Negan’s office.

“I ever tell you about Lucille?” Negan mumbled.

“Your bat?” Simon asked, sitting across from him.

“She was my wife,” he admitted. “I was an asshole back in my old life too. When the world crumbled, I was sure that I was living in my own fucking hell for what I did to her.”

“Negan…”

“No, you deserve to fucking know. You’re the closest thing I’ve got a friend and –”

“Well, shit. I thought I was,” Simon chuckled.

“You get what I mean.”

“Yeah, yeah. Go on.” Simon poured himself a drink and relaxed against the seat, staring at Negan.

“I cheated on her, you know? Cheated on her time and time again. I knew that she knew too, but she still stayed with me. When we found out she was sick with fucking cancer, I knew I had to stop screwing around and be with my wife.”

“I’m sorry, Negan.”

Negan shook his head, continuing, “She died just as this shitstorm started. Half of me is glad that she’s not here to witness the person I have become or to live in this fucking hell, but the other half of me wishes that she was still alive so I could make it up to her.”

“You didn’t even have any time to grieve…” Simon commented.

“I couldn’t. I had to keep moving. After her death, I just – I was empty inside. Hell, I probably still fucking am.”

“But Luna…”

Negan nodded, “Exactly. _Luna_. She looks at me in a way that no one has since this world ended. She understands me, just how Lucille did.”

“Does she know about Lucille?”

“Yeah…”

“And?” Simon asked.

“She understood. I don’t know why I’m so fucking afraid to put myself out there, but I know that I should… She’s the closest thing I’ve got to make amends for what I’ve done to Lucille,” he admitted.

“When she’s ready, Negan, and she _will_ be, you tell her exactly what you’re telling me. I refuse to be the middle man here, but be patient. She’ll come around.”

They were interrupted to a knock at the door. Negan stood and opened it, taking the trays from Dwight after muttering a ‘thank you.’ He shut the door and set the trays of food onto the desk, immediately beginning to eat.

“For now, just act normal,” Simon advised.

“I know. Let her come to me,” Negan repeated.

“Exactly. Patience is a virtue, you know.”

Negan chuckled, shaking his head. “Yeah, yeah. I’m not a patient man, but for Luna, I’ll fucking wait.”


	18. Chapter 18

The next few days, Luna had been staying at the infirmary. Simon would always visit her in the morning and at night, just like he promised. Though, deep down, Luna assumed it was his way of making sure that she didn’t just get up and leave.

Tonight, she was changing her bandage when Simon walked in with another tray of food.

“Dr. Carson could have helped with that,” he pointed, setting the tray aside and helping her place the new bandage on her abdomen.

“I know he could, but I wanted to do it myself. I’m getting better, Simon.”

“Not good enough.”

“I’m getting restless here…”

“Well, are you ready to talk to Negan?”

“No…”

“Exactly. Let’s eat.” Simon set the tray in front of her and allowed her to eat, deciding to take a seat nearby. He watched her carefully take a bite of her food, her eyes remaining downcast.

“Has he asked about me or anything?” Luna asked quietly.

“No. He thinks you’re still out there,” Simon lied. “Why?”

“Nothing. Just wondering.”

“Do you really think I’ll ever be ready to talk him?”

Simon arched a brow, looking up at her. “Yeah. All in due time, I suppose. You’ll be ready on your own. No one’s going to make that decision for you and I certainly will not push the matter on you.”

Luna nodded. She continued to eat as her mind focused solely on Negan. She wondered what he was doing at this moment or if he was doing okay. Simon had made valid points while she was out in the woods, but Luna was too afraid to take the risk and come back.

Maybe getting a shot was a blessing in disguise because now, she couldn’t imagine leaving without talking to Negan first. She just hoped that time apart would allow the both of them to gain a better understanding of their feelings.

After her dinner, Simon picked the tray from her bed and set it aside. “So, I talked to Dr. Carson… He said you can stay in my room for the remainder of your recovery.”

She nodded, looking up at him. “Do you have a window?”

“Window? Oh, right. The moon… No, I don’t.”

Luna sighed, draping her legs over the edge of the bed. She stood on wobbly feet, holding onto the mattress for stability. Simon quickly came to her side and held her steady, grabbing a pair of sweatpants that he brought in earlier today.

“Let me help you, okay?” he said softly, kneeling to let each of her legs slide into the sweatpants. Once she accomplished it, Simon stood and wrapped the tie around her waist to secure it tightly.

Luna took the black tank top from Simon’s grasp and carefully slid it over her body, biting her lower lip at the stiffness. She looked up at him and bit her lower lip, tilting her head slightly.

“You don’t have to do this, you know…”

“Do what?” he asked.

“Take care of me.”

“Yes, I do and I will. I’ve gotta make it up to you somehow.”

Luna smiled slowly, “Ice cream? Do you have ice cream? You’ll definitely make it up to me that way.”

“You know, as a matter of fact, I do. It’s in my room. Can you walk?” he smiled.

“I can manage.”

“Great. Let’s go.”

Simon walked at her pace, which was slower than normal. He made sure to hover a hand on her back when he noticed that a few of her steps had become a bit wobbly and unbalanced. The walk to his room was quiet, but Simon knew that Luna had one thing on her mind. She was preparing herself to talk to Negan. He didn’t know when it was going to happen, but Simon was just relieved to know that Luna was going to give Negan a chance regardless.

Once at his room, he opened the door and motioned her inside. Luna was surprised to see how neat and clean his room was. There was a full-sized bed in the middle of the room and a small couch near the corner with a television facing it. Luna noticed the refrigerator and the counter along it that held a few snacks she assumed he kept to himself.

“You’re taking the bed,” he said, interrupting her thoughts.

“Simon, it’s fine. I can take the couch.”

“It wasn’t up for debate. I want you recovered just as badly as you do and sleeping on an uncomfortable couch won’t help at all.”

Luna sighed in defeat, sitting carefully on the bed. She looked up at him and then dropped her eyes, planning a way to sneak out to look at the moon.

“You said you have ice cream.” she mumbled.

Simon chuckled, grabbing two spoons from his drawer near the fridge and pulling out a tub of vanilla ice cream that the kitchen staff managed to create. He sat on the bed next to Luna and handed her the spoon, allowing her to take the first dip.

“I’m no liar, Luna,” he chuckled.

Luna grinned at the sight of ice cream. She took a spoonful and lifted it to her lips, grinning immediately. She sighed contentedly and gently rested her head against Simon’s shoulder. She would never understand why he or Negan took a liking to her, but she was grateful.

Luna always had trouble making friends in the old world, but now she needed only two people in her life: Negan and Simon.

“Thank you,” she said.

“For what?”

“Everything… You could have shrugged me away like Denise, but you didn’t. Neither did Negan.”

Simon smiled, “We know potential when we see it.”

“I wish – I wish I could be a Savior, Simon. I could protect you. I could protect Negan, but –”

“But it kills you to know that the possibility of taking someone else’s life is always on the table,” he finished.

“Yeah… And I wouldn’t hesitate, just like I didn’t hesitate with that man from Alexandria. The minute he was going to strike Negan, I pulled the trigger. Your life, and Negan’s life, is much more important than mine and –”

“Stop. Don’t ever say that,” Simon interrupted. “Your life is _just_ as valuable, okay? I’d kill for you, to know that you’ll be safe. Negan, too. Don’t ever doubt your existence, Luna. You were brought here for a reason.”

“It doesn’t feel like…”

Simon sighed, setting the tub of ice cream on her lap for a moment. He looked at her and gently rested a hand on her own, getting her attention. “Sure, yeah, bad things have happened, but you’re still here. The moment you came here, Negan and I agreed that there was something about you that we couldn’t put our finger on. As we got to know more about you, we realized that when we look at you, Luna, we think back to our old world. The innocence. The beauty.

“And yeah, this isn’t an ideal world where we can all live happily ever after, but what’s even better is that we still get to see another day. Everyone that is alive right now deserves to be, has a reason as to why they still are… Just like you, Luna.”

She bit her lower lip, tears stinging her eyes. She set the tub of ice cream aside on the nightstand nearby and instantly wrapped her arms around Simon. Luna cried into his shoulder, releasing all of the pent-up emotions that she had held in for so long. No one understood her like Simon and Negan had.

Simon was taken aback by her sudden gesture. Gently, he ran a hand along her back and shut his eyes, feeling her wet tears stain his shirt. Slowly, he lied back with her and held her to his side. He knew if anyone were to walk in, it would look like a completely different picture, but the feelings he harbored for Luna were simply platonic.

He held her the entire night, even long after she cried herself to sleep. The moment he moved, Luna held tighter. It was as if she was afraid to let go.

Sighing quietly, Simon relaxed and shut his eyes.

**\---**

The following morning, Luna awoke quietly. She looked over to see Simon sitting on his sofa, tying his combat boots securely to his feet. When they made eye contact, Simon smiled and stood, walking to the bed.

“Breakfast is on the counter for you. I’m not going to keep you locked in here, but if you feel like taking a walk or anything, go ahead. Just be cautious. Negan may be patrolling the area,” he said.

Luna nodded, reaching for his arm when he was getting ready to walk to the door. “Hey, Simon?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you… For last night. You’ve opened my mind to many things…”

Simon smiled, “I knew I should have become a therapist while I was still in school.”

Luna giggled, “What did you end up doing?”

“Few odd jobs here and there. Dropped out. School wasn’t my thing.”

“Shame. You’d have made a great therapist. You’re an excellent listener,” she smiled.

Simon chuckled, shaking his head and lifting his pants out of habit. He motioned to the door and winked at her, “Again, you’re able to roam around. Just beware that Negan may be walking around. Don’t forget to take your meds before you eat, okay?”

Luna nodded, “Yes, _mother_.”

“Oh, Luna’s a comedian now, is she?”

She grabbed a pillow and gently chucked it at Simon, hitting him in the face. He grinned, setting it back on the bed. “And abusive. My god.”

Luna shook her head with a small smile, watching him leave the room. She downed her medication and began eating her breakfast in silence.

Her mind drifted to Negan. If she were to take a risk and walk around the compound, she didn’t know what she would say if she just coincidentally bumped into him. She was sure, though, that she would envelope him in a hug, but even then that wasn’t enough to break the tension that she was sure would loom amongst them.

So, she decided to stay inside Simon’s room. Maybe in the next couple of days Luna would decide to walk around. For now, however, she opted to remain inside where she was hidden from everyone else.

Simon met with Negan in his office, looking over at him with an arched brow. He hadn’t asked about Luna since finding out that she was here, but Simon knew not to push the matter until Negan did first.

“Do you think Rick will deliver this time?” Simon asked.

“He fucking better or else we’re going to have ourselves a bit of deja-fucking-vu on our hands,” he replied.

Negan was sipping on his cup of coffee, looking down at the papers that were scattered on his desk. When Simon took a seat, Negan decided to take a break and look up at him. He cleared his throat and finally asked, “How is she?”

“Doing well. She’s up in my room now.”

“How’s that?” Negan asked hesitantly.

“It’s _fine_. She cried herself to sleep last night,” Simon admitted.

Negan bit his lower lip, his eyes softening instantly. “What? Why?”

“You know, I’m not too sure, but she was saying that her life wasn’t as important as ours.”

“Fuck, that’s a goddamn lie. She’s just as important, if not more,” Negan admitted.

Simon smiled, “I know. I told her that.”

“Did you hold her?”

Simon arched a brow. “I did. She fell asleep in my arms.”

“Fuck,” he mumbled. “Trying to do my fucking best to not get jealous right now. Let me tell you. It’s not working.”

“I know it’s tough to not talk to her when she’s literally just a few floors away, but just hang in there. She’s opening up more and she’s talking about you a lot, or rather, thinking about you.”

“How the fuck do you know?”

“Call it a hunch.”

Negan rolled his eyes. “I just want to see her…”

“I know you do, but you’re doing a great job at being patient. Who knows? Maybe she’ll put out when she’s ready.”

Negan chuckled, shaking his head. “That’s the least of my worries at the moment.”

“Wait, who are you? Did you really just turn down the chance to say something inappropriate?”

“I guess I did. It’s not just about sex anymore with her, okay? I just – I want her with me,” Negan admitted.

Simon smiled, “Sounds like _love_.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Negan mumbled.

“It’s okay to admit it, you know. Nothing wrong with it.”

“I’m going to kick your ass, Simon.”

“Okay, okay! I’m sorry.”

“Damn right you are. Now, come on. We’ve got some shit to tend to.”

**\---**

Throughout the day, Luna simply stayed inside Simon’s room. She used the open space to stretch her stiff limbs, careful not to overdo it. When she finished, she decided to watch television and play some video games that Simon had in his possession.

Needless to say, she was bored just in time for him to come back. Luna was sitting on the couch, reading a book when Simon walked in with two trays of food. He smiled in her direction and set the food on her lap.

“You hungry?” he asked.

“Absolutely famished.” she grinned, taking her second dosage of medicine before beginning to eat.

“So, what’d you do all day?”

“Stretched. Watched some TV. Played some games. It was really boring,” she shrugged.

“Stretched?”

“My limbs were stiff from lying in a bed for three consecutive days. Needed to get some blood pumping through my veins somehow.”

Simon chuckled, shaking his head. “How are you feeling now?”

“I’m doing better. Pain isn’t really there and my stitches are healing, so that’s a good sign.”

Simon nodded, watching as she ate the rest of her food. Setting his own tray down for a moment, he turned to face her and gently rested a hand on her own.

“Yes?” she asked.

“I’m just really glad that you’re here… And _alive_.”

“Thanks. Me too.” Luna smiled, finishing her food. “Do you mind if I go outside tonight?”

“Gonna stargaze?”

“Yeah…”

Simon smiled, “Go on ahead.”

“Thank you,” she kissed his cheek and grabbed a sweater to put over her shirt, slipping on her running shoes.

Luna carefully descended the stairs, making sure that she was taking her time with each step. Once she made it outside, Luna climbed another set of stairs to a single outpost. It usually wasn’t as heavily as guarded, so when she saw a Savior, she simply stated that Simon said it was okay.

She sat near the ledge and looked up at the night sky, biting her lower lip as her mind drifted to Negan once more.

She wondered if Simon was lying to her about Negan being unaware of her presence in the Sanctuary. If he was, both men were doing a wonderful job at hiding themselves. It had been almost a week since she was brought back and yet, she hadn’t seen Negan.

Though, just as she was thinking how grateful she was, Luna heard the sound of the familiar whistle and the quiet footsteps. She looked over her shoulder, noticing Negan immediately. She tried to hide, but he made eye contact with her the minute he saw someone sitting at the ledge.

Negan widened his eyes. He was not expecting to find her and he wondered if he should talk to her or just go about his business. Instead, he acted like he didn’t notice her and talked with the Savior that was on duty.

Luna waited and waited for him to appear, but he never did. When she looked over her shoulder once more, she realized that he left without a word. She was confused, but at the same time, relieved.

Another hour passed before she decided to head back inside. Luna walked quietly through the halls of the Sanctuary and finally stepped inside Simon’s room. She noticed him reading on the couch, lying down with a blanket draped over his lower half.

“Have a good time?” he asked.

“I saw Negan,” she blurted.

“What?”

“I saw him and I’m pretty sure he saw me too.”

Simon cleared his throat quietly. “Did he talk to you?”

“No… That’s why I’m a bit confused. I know he noticed me, realized who I was, but he just – He walked away. Why would he walk away?” Luna bit her lower lip, removing her shoes and lying back on the bed.

“Let’s say he noticed you… Would you have been ready to talk to him then?”

Luna shrugged. “I don’t know anymore, Simon. I saw him and I wanted nothing more than to just –”

“Mount him right there?” he winked.

“Simon!”

He laughed, running a hand over his mustache. “Okay, I’m sorry. What were you thinking of then?”

“I just wanted to hug him or have him hold me or…”

“Have _him_ mount _you_?” he interrupted.

“I am going to throw another pillow at your head,” Luna threatened.

“Ooh, scary.”

Luna sighed, biting her lower lip. “I think I’ll talk to him tomorrow…”

“You sure about that, Luna?”

“Seeing him tonight… It made me realize how much I missed him.”

“Well then, it seems like you’ve got a big day tomorrow. Why don’t you get some rest?” Simon suggested.

“You’re right. Thank you, Simon… For everything.”

“Uh huh. Good night, Luna.”

“Good night, Simon.”

Luna shut her eyes, imagining Negan behind her closed lids. She wondered how tomorrow would go down, but ultimately, she was more than ready to talk to him.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I can’t believe this story has come to an end! I know, I know. There wasn’t any smut, but I actually enjoyed writing a story that didn’t involve smut whatsoever. Anyway, I want to thank everyone who stuck with me throughout this story. It was so much fun writing it!

The next morning, Luna had awoken earlier than Simon. Given that his shift started later than usual, he took this time to get more sleep. She finished in the bathroom and changed into a pair of leggings, an old flannel that belonged to Simon (and looked incredibly big on her) and her boots.

She was tying her laces when Simon grunted, glancing in the direction of his bed to see Luna awake and ready.

“You’re talking to him _this_ early in the morning?” he mumbled sleepily.

“What? No. I figured I’d walk around today. Get a head start and this time, I can bring you breakfast.”

He chuckled, sitting up and rubbing the back of his head. “No can do. Kitchen staff won’t give you anything if your name isn’t on the list for points or on the list for Saviors. _But_ , you can accompany me if you don’t mind waiting for me to get ready.”

“Sure. Yeah. Gives me more time to think.”

Simon stood, grabbing a fresh set of clothes on the way to his bathroom. Stopping in front of her, he gently rested a hand on Luna’s shoulder, gripping it tightly.

“Big day, huh?”

“I’m a bit scared,” she admitted.

“What for?”

“That he’s going to shoo me away…”

“He’d be stupid to,” Simon smiled, walking into his connected bathroom and shutting it behind him.

When Luna heard the water running, she sighed and lied back against the bed, draping an arm over her eyes as constant thoughts entered her mind. She wondered what she was going to tell Negan, how he would react, and certainly if he was going to take her back or not.

They never established their relationship, but both knew the attraction was there. Learning about Lucille (his wife and not the bat) made her wonder if he was simply pining after her to make up for things he had done to Lucille. Though, deep down, she had thought the same in terms of her ex-husband.

Life was giving them both a chance to right their wrongs.

Just as soon as she was drifting to a light sleep, Simon exited the bathroom with his hair damp and fully dressed. He flashed Luna a big grin and motioned to the door, running a hand through his dark locks.

“Ready?” he asked.

“As I’ll ever be.”

The walk to the cafeteria was a quiet one. Though, she assumed that Simon wasn’t telling her that there was a possibility she could see Negan. She tried to think of ways to avoid him until she was ready to talk to him that night, but couldn’t come up with an idea whatsoever.

Upon entering the hall, Simon motioned for her to take a table and she quickly sat at the edge of one of the empty tables. Within minutes, Simon sat next to her and handed her a plate of food. She could smell the fresh eggs and fruit that was on her tray.

Simon had already begun to eat, not bothering to wait for her. Luna smiled, picking up her plastic fork and began to eat the contents of breakfast.

“So, think of what you’re going to say?” he asked.

“No… I don’t know what to say actually.”

“Maybe the truth.”

“Oh, right. That didn’t even cross my mind,” she giggled.

Simon grinned, “I’m liking this version of you, Luna.”

Immediately, she blushed, looking down at her plate.

“Oh, don’t do that. You’re opening up to me. Kinda think that this was how you could be if you got past the anxiety,” he admitted.

Luna shrugged, looking up at Simon. “I feel safe with you.”

“Well, that’s a relief. Though, you kick ass better than me so I should be saying that to _you_.”

“Uh huh,” she smiled, biting her lower lip.

Suddenly, Luna glanced around when people around the hall began to kneel. She cleared her throat, glancing at Simon who motioned for her to do the same.

Slowly, she obliged, keeping her eyes downcast. Luna knew that he was aware of her presence and the fact that he hadn’t said anything proved that he already knew aside from last night’s events.

Luna glanced up at him just to see his boots walk past her, his eyes not meeting hers whatsoever. She wondered if he was ignoring her purposefully or if he truly did not recognize her. Once he left the hall, everyone stood and resumed their breakfast.

“Simon…” she mumbled.

“What?”

“He knows I’m here even before he saw me last night, doesn’t he?”

Simon cleared his throat. He didn’t know whether to lie or not, but instead, he decided to go with the latter. “He does… I’m sorry, okay? I convinced him to give you time and to be patient until you were ready to talk to him.”

“Does he know I’m going to talk to him tonight?”

“No. I didn’t tell him that.”

“Why did you lie to me when I asked if he was aware of me staying here?”

“Because if I told you the truth, would you have stayed or would you have just left, Luna?” he asked seriously.

“I would have left…”

“Exactly. I’m doing this for you and I’m also doing this for _him_. It’s time you both buck up and talk to one another. I told him to be patient with you, okay? He hasn’t talked to you for a reason.”

“You shouldn’t have lied to me.”

“I had to do it or else we wouldn’t be here.”

Luna sighed, continuing her breakfast. She glanced over at Negan who was chatting with one of the kitchen crew members and when his eyes swept the hall, his eyes immediately met with Luna’s. There was a sense of relief and guilt that flashed through his beautiful orbs, but she quickly looked away.

After breakfast, Simon led her outside where he had to work to make sure the Saviors were counting the inventory correctly. There was a mishap that happened a few days ago and Negan put him in charge to make sure it perfect.

“So, you’re going to walk around,” he said.

“Yeah. I think I’m going to check out the commissary.”

“Well, whatever you get, tell Denise it’s on me.”

“What?” Luna asked.

“On me. My points.”

“All right. If you say so. I’ll see you later?”

“Mhm. I’ll catch you later. Don’t start trouble,” he teased.

“Right. Me. Start trouble. Okay.”

Simon chuckled, watching Luna walk back into the building. He wondered how tonight would turn out with her and Negan, but he just hoped that the both of them would be able to resolve their situation and make up.

Luna bit her lower lip, looking around the busy main floor of the Sanctuary. As she neared the commissary, Denise immediately glared, watching her carefully once she began to look further throughout the small aisles.

There was nothing that caught Luna’s interest, but when she neared the clothing section, she wondered if she should dress up tonight. Thinking better of it, she aimlessly went through the undergarments, hoping Simon wouldn’t mind if she used his points on bras and panties.

As she was looking for her size, Denise seized her up, purposefully bumping into her.

“Oh, you were in my way. So so sorry,” she laughed.

Luna tightened his jaw, simply nodding her understanding and not uttering a word.

“So, you still think you’re better than everyone else here, huh?” she taunted.

“No, that’s not –”

“Oh, sure it is. You come walking in here, thinking you’re too good that –”

“Denise, I have had it about here with you. I tried to keep my mouth shut, tried to go about my own business, but I am _tired_ of you treating me like we’re in high school. Cut it out. We are both here to make a living in this new world,” Luna interrupted.

“No, no. _I_ am here to make a living, _you_ are here as Negan’s new whore, right? Heard that you left and he went looking for you. Does he even know that you’re back?” she grinned.

“I don’t think what I do is your business.”

“I like to make your life miserable, Lily.”

“It’s _Luna_. If you’re going to act obsessed with me, at least get my goddamn name right.”

Denise stepped into Luna’s personal space, glaring daggers at her threateningly. She wasn’t aware of how skillful Luna was, but it didn’t matter. Denise always needed to have the upper hand. She always needed to be in control.

“Oh, all of a sudden, you’ve grown some balls to stand up to me? Is that it?” she glared.

“If you don’t step back, Denise, I will make you.”

“All you are is Negan’s whore, ready to open your legs anytime whenever he asks. Before this world, I’m sure you were just as pathetic as you are now. Retail, huh? Sounds like a perfect damn job for someone like you,” Denise spat.

Luna tightened her jaw, stepping forward. Her hands curled to fists and one more taunt from Denise and she was going to find herself on her back.

“You don’t know me, Denise, so don’t try and act like you do. I wonder how many people you have under your finger just because you’re such a goddamn bully that no one wants to stand up to you,” Luna retaliated.

“I think I’ve got a good idea of who you are, Luna.”

“Wow. Would you look at that? She remembers my name.”

“Bitch. Why don’t you run along and be a good girl by staying on your knees for Negan? Pretty sure that’s all you’re good for,” Denise grinned.

“You know, you talk awfully a lot about Negan. Got a crush on him, Denise?”

Without replying, Denise raised a hand to strike Luna across the face. Though, Luna saw it coming before she even made contact with her jaw. Quickly, she grabbed Denise’s wrist and turned it painfully, using her free hand to wrap around Denise’s throat.

“This is where I put you in your goddamn place. You run the commissary, that is fucking it. You don’t run the Sanctuary, so stop acting like you do.” Luna snarled, pushing her away roughly with strength that Denise didn’t think she had.

Suddenly, Denise tackled Luna to the ground, immediately bringing her fists to connect with Luna’s face. Luna lifted her off her body with the raising of her hips, delivering a hard punch across Denise’s jaw, rendering her unconscious.

“Stay fucking down,” Luna mumbled.

Then, she heard a distant clapping from behind her. Simon was standing next to Negan who looked to be watching the entire thing unfold. Luna immediately scrambled off Denise, standing up and avoiding Negan’s eyes.

“It’s about time you stand up for yourself,” Simon grinned. “And I won’t lie. That was pretty hot to see you all angry.”

Negan glanced at Simon, his eyes turning to Luna before glancing over at Denise. “Simon, pour some water over her. Make sure she’s still fucking alive. In the meantime, I’m going to take Rocky Balboa here back to my fucking office.”

“But –” Luna mumbled.

“But _nothing_.” he interrupted, motioning her to follow him.

Simon nodded at Negan’s order, offering Luna an apologetic glance. Luna sighed, following Negan to his office. The entire walk to his floor was uncomfortable and awkward. The only sounds that echoed the halls were the sounds of their footsteps against the ground.

Finally approaching his office, Negan held the door open for Luna and she quietly walked inside. She turned to look at him when he shut the door and locked it; no one was coming in to interrupt their long awaited conversation.

Luna watched Negan carefully, following him around the room with her eyes. She noticed him set Lucille down onto the desk before approaching her, immediately wrapping his arms around her in a tight embrace.

She wasn’t expecting this reaction, but instead, Luna leaned against his chest and brought her arms to wrap around him as well.

“I’m so fucking sorry,” he mumbled.

“Negan…”

“No… Just – Fuck, let me hold you.”

Luna shut her eyes, reveling in the close proximity. She had never been this close to him and she found his scent to be intoxicating and addicting. She didn’t want to let go and the fact that his grip around her frame only seemed to tighten made her smile.

He wasn’t angry.

He was _relieved_.

“We have to talk,” she mumbled.

Negan sighed, removing his arms from around her. He motioned for her to sit at his desk and she obliged, watching Negan grab his chair to sit next to her.

“I didn’t mean to leave,” she mumbled.

“Yeah, you did… You wanted to leave and I get it. I fucking understand now.”

I didn’t _want_ to leave.”

“But you did anyway,” Negan sighed. “I didn’t know how much I’d miss you until you left, Luna. There was a part of me that was fucking missing. I just –”

“I look at you and I see potential for you and I. I look at you and I just – I smile because I know the _true_ you. The you that not everyone gets to see but Simon and I. You holding me just a minute ago made me realize that I feel safer in your arms than I did with my ex-husband. Life _is_ giving us a chance to fix our mistakes with our past loved ones and I know… I know you’d never forget Lucille, and I would never ask that of you. But, maybe this is our second chance,” she interrupted.

Negan bit his lower lip. “I wanted you the minute I met you, but it started to change from it only being about sex into something much more. I tried to deny the feelings I had for you, tried to brush them off like it was fucking nothing, but I couldn’t. Goddamnit, my wives? They don’t mean shit to me as long as I’ve got you, Luna.”

Luna sighed, keeping her hands on her lap as she listened to him speak. Everything he was saying was exactly how she was feeling and it made her excited to know that the feeling was mutual. She just didn’t know where this made her stand with him.

“It stopped being about the man that I killed in Alexandria and it started being about you and hearing you and your wives and … I left because of _you_ , Negan. I left because I didn’t have the courage to leave my ex-husband, so I thought I was making up for that mistake…”

Hesitantly, Negan reached a hand out and placed it over hers, gently rubbing her knuckles with the pad of his thumb. “I never meant to hurt you…”

“But you did.”

Negan sighed, looking into her eyes. His own had softened a great deal and it was the first time that Luna noticed the emotion behind it. He was being serious.

“I want you, and only you. Whatever I have to fucking do to prove that, I will do…” he admitted.

“I can’t leave again,” Luna whispered.

“Good because I’m never letting you go.”

“Negan…”

“Yes, Luna?”

“I see myself falling in love with you and it scares me.”

Negan smiled, dropping his eyes and slowly lacing his hand with one of her own. “I don’t think being in love with me is that fucking bad.”

Luna giggled, blushing immediately. Negan looked at her, his smile simply broadening at the sound of her laughter. It had become so important to make her happy and comfortable in the Sanctuary that seeing her smile and hearing her laugh had been his main priority since she arrived to his compound.

“That’s not what I meant…”

Negan sighed, “I know, but does it help if I said that I see myself falling for you too?”

Luna widened her eyes. Since hearing his situation with Lucille, she thought he would never fall in love again, but the fact that he was admitting it to her had to have meant something.

“Really?”

“You’re right, Luna. This is _our_ second chance. I’m not going to fuck it up this time around.”

Suddenly, Luna wrapped her arms around him and placed her soft lips against his. It was their first kiss and both felt a sudden surge of current run through their bodies. Luna never felt this way, not even with her ex-husband.

When they pulled away, Negan looked into her eyes and grinned. “Oh, you’re fucking mine now.”

Luna smiled, pecking his lips lightly. “And _you’re_ mine.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, doll.”

**\---**

**THE END**


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